Single Guy: Lingerie

So this post may offend some people but blog posts are not supposed to make everyone happy, right? This may be a little bit too much detail in to my life, and considering my identity is beginning to be uncovered, hopefully readers will still find some humor in this post.

To begin let me say how this topic came about. I was gchatting with MODG (as I do ALL the time because why work when you can discuss random topics on gchat) and she was asking how I felt about lingerie (MODG Note, this was not a proposition towards SG as he makes this sound, this is because I disagree with what he is about to say.), well that’s funny I replied because I honestly think if I saw an obese girl in a pair of thigh highs and a garter belt I may still be inclined to spend some “quality time” with her (<----- SG's lady). See I have this problem with lingerie and it has actually affected my relationships in the past. I have honestly stopped dating girls due to their underwear choices. I know it seems trivial to some people but I just think if a girl does not want to look sexy in the bedroom she is likely going to be lifeless and not entertaining and follow what many guys know as the starfish approach. I am trying to stay G rated so I will provide any further details, but lets just say starfish lay flat and don’t do much in their lives (MODG note, here’s where SG is wrong. Starfish regrow limbs! That’s pretty amazing if you ask me. SG may be an expert at lingerie but I’m an expert in ocean life.)

Now here many people would think, why judge a book by its cover? My thought process is that I would much rather not let the physical aspect of the relationship get to that point and then end up hurting the girl likely through the “phase out” approach, because I could not get myself to tell a girl that I did not want to hang out any longer due to her underwear selection. So instead I just bail on her before we get to that point.

So here you may ask so what lingerie do I feel is lame? Well first let me base my opinion on how I draw conclusions from a girls under

wear selection, first is what I previously mentioned, if she does not want to look sexy in the bedroom she probably is not fun in the bedroom (this has been VERY true based on previous experiences, you know who you are that I am referring to so let me say thanks for developing this problem but it was well worth it J ). (MODG note: Gross.)

Second, if she does not want to look sexy for you she is either not in to you or selfish and doesn’t care about your opinion because if guys could wear underwear that girls thought was sexy I would DEFINITELY go out and buy some (I am mostly a Calvin Klein boxer brief guy as I know this will come up).

Third, I think it is a confidence thing, girls MUST feel sexier in some awesome outfit from Victoria Secret and when they put it on look in the mirror and think, DAMN I am Sexy and I my man is gonna love this! I mean do you honestly feel confident in a pair of cotton granny panties? And don’t give me some BS comfort excuse, I have seen those obnoxiously uncomfortable shoes you are wearing, why can’t you make the same sacrifice for your underwear? (MODG note, good point SG) Remember you are not playing sports or working out, you are going on a date that I am paying for so try to do something for me (okay that sounded selfish but it is my train of thought and I am entitled to it…SO THERE!!!)

Lastly, it is all about attention to detail, this is how a girl can complete the package and if she doesn’t that concerns me. It is like a guy with a great outfit and a bad pair of shoes, okay maybe not the same but pretty close I feel. Ladies these are the types of things you should be conscience of because let me just tell you, guys notice and not only do they notice but they usually talk about it, something along the lines of “Did yaw hook up? How was it? Was she wearing sexy undies?” You may have just read that and thought, NO CHANCE that is discussed, trust me IT IS.

My opinion is that if you have gone a few dates with a guy and you feel there may be some below the belt action keep your Mothers underwear at home, you should have some sexy stuff in your stash, if not go buy some, I gave you a 25% discount at Saks! (MODG note, he said Neiman’s and was wrong, I changed it obv). See below for discount.

So what do I like? Well, I love boy shorts, thongs, g-strings (I know they are trashy but I really enjoy them and yes there is a HUGE difference between a thong and a g-string ladies STOP trying to claim thongs as g-strings). Matching or Non-Matching it makes no difference but in terms of types ladies when you are picking out lingerie DO NOT act like you do not know what is sexier than others IT IS OBVIOUS. I mean you don’t need to look like a stripper and shop at Fredericks of Hollywood (aka Freaknicks of Hollywood) but be creative. And if you have been dating a guy for a while throw in a good outfit every once in a while. I do not know a single guy that does not appreciate thigh highs (a cheap solution), so go get some put them on, go out with your man and surprise him with a little creativity when you get home (it is getting colder and stockings can be worn). Also, a huge point for me is that I DO NOT want to see the lingerie before you put it on, that RUINS the surprise. I want to be taking off your clothes and be like DAMN look at this present I just unwrapped. Remember, it is the surprise that makes it that much hotter. So hopefully this will make some of you make your men happy and hopefully some of those men are my friends and they can thank me later.

Saks 25% off code online use FRIENDS3 at checkout.

Love,

Single Guy.