December 2009

December 31, 2009

Or 4…on the Floor.

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It’s New Year’s Eve. It snowed. No one told me it was going to snow. A lot of people have a lot of jobs solely based on telling me when and where it will snow. I think this says something about the year to come. We will be in for a lot of surprises and a lot of people will F up at stuff in general. Probably Britney.

To summarize my 2009 and look forward to a really special 2010 I thought I’d do something I rarely do at MODG and quote some poetry that speaks to me at this time of year.

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
got my glasses- I’m out the door – I’m gonna hit this city
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back
I’m talking – pedicure on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Drop-toping, playing our favorite cds
Pulling up to the parties
Tryna get a little bit tipsy

If everyone can spend 2010 talking pedicure on their toes toes and just doing what we’re all doing really…tryna get a little bit tipsy…then this world may just make it 1 more year.

See you in the future modgy bitches. I’ll be the one with the sliver spacesuit getting all anti gravity on your face. But REGARDLESS whether or not there is a baby in my spacesuit, I promise you this: I will be skinny. In 2010, oh yes, I will be skinny.

Look forward to more of this kind of shit in 2010. The year of the camera.
And probably so many cats in your face.

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POSTED IN: Awesome things,Drunk Stuff

December 30, 2009

Writing this post can’t end well.

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Ok I’m hesitant to even write this post because I know I will kinnahora it. For you goyim that is like jinxing stuff. I’ve had the best shopping karma lately and I think this is for a few reasons. Remember yesterday how I told you we got the Nikon Dmillion fancy camera? And you were all,
that bitch MODG getting Loubs and Macs and cameras and everything else in the usa! But I’m here to tell you, there is a twist.
Remember the foot issues which we will not speak of any longer? Well what I didn’t tell you was in true karma hating me fashion, this injury was paralleling the hunt for the perfect birthday present Loubs. I was like, F! NOTHING fits my feet! Turns out it was my feet and not the shoes. So I kind of gave up. So not like me. Once I tracked down boots in a Bloomingdales in Boise. I cried when I found them. Anyway I was displeased. And I got to thinking…maybe the universe is testing my maturity. And so the camera idea was born.
Yes you’re reading this right. INSTEAD of beautiful pretty shiny Loubs the MODG family invested in a really nice camera. Possibly to take pictures of babies in the future? Maybe. Maybe not. No I’m not preg. But I was all, see how mature I am world?! I deserve great things. And so they were given to me….
First: today I did a genius thing. I went into an optometrist, whipped out my medical flex spending card which is set to expire this year and bought myself Fall 2010 Chanel sunglasses and B Ray Bans. That’s right. Thank you Amerihealth for my fancy new eye wear. I encourage you to do the same. Stupid healthcare companies think that you just get regular boring glasses at an optometrist. I’m here to tell you that you can get eye couture with perfect vision. Karma pay back to me 1.

I bought Gap long and leans and always skinny jeans. I wore them like 49 times. And also once in a blizzard. I was like, eh these don’t fit. I took them back. No tag, no receipt nothing. The store caters to any fat idiot in America so they basically do whatever you tell them to do. Exchanged for new fancy jeans that fit. Yay me. Karma pay back to me 2.
Here is the best one but there is a chance I could be wrong about this one. When refunding my Loub purchase, Neiman’s accidentally issued a gift card instead of an Amex credit. I called and bitched them out and they are refunding the credit card. But there is a CHANCE that the gift card will still be valid. That would be so evil of me. But come on….free-ish gift card? POSSIBLE karma pay back to me 3.
And yes, you’re getting the gist of this post that I believe the shopping world is paying me back for buying a camera. I get that that’s insane. But this is what I believe and what I believe goes.
I’m off to live out my New Year’s Eve fantasy in front of the tv with Chinese food. Maybe I am ready for a baby…..
ugh maybe not.

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POSTED IN: Awesome things,babies,Drunk Stuff,Style

December 30, 2009

Single Guy: Telling you about New Year’s Eve…I think.

Pin it Well well well, look who it is. Our OLD friend Single Guy. Old that he has just turned THIRTY and old that he is not our current friend, just an old one. He’s decided that we’re worthy of his wisdom today. Mostly because some of you gave him shit yesterday: I heart my [...]

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December 29, 2009

What the shit is this week? Is it even a week?

Pin itDoes anyone else feel like time fully stands still between Christmas and New Years? I think as we get older, people will revert back to 3rd grade and are all IT’S CHRISTMAS BREAK so I don’t have to do a GD thing. No one is at my job, no one is at the gym, [...]

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December 28, 2009

TV tells me that I am now better than you. Sorry, it is what it is.

Pin it You know those Apple commercials that make you feel like you’re bald and overweight for not owning a Mac? You totally want to be the cool funny laidback guy but you’re just not. You’re gross and poorly dressed and you probably eat tv dinners because you have a PC. Well it’s pretty much [...]

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