Warning, you are going to want to kill SG after you read this. I don’t know what’s gotten into that boybrain of his. He finally crosses my line as you’ll see in my blue notes. For the newbies, Single Guy is our friend from college, B’s fraternity brother and dates a lot of girls. All of us are married or engaged he is…not. That’s why he’s Single Guy. He visits us weekly (but sometimes NOT ON TIME) and writes tales of singledom. It’s our job to read, judge and school him on not being an asswipe.
Quickly approaching my 30th birthday I am in position wondering who I will scare off when I tell them I am 30 and no longer a 20-something. Jay-Z said 30’s the new 20 so I guess I will be okay, but really…will I? Did I ever think I would be 30, single, living with my brother and blogging about my “Single Guy” life? Absolutely not, but I am VERY happy with it and excited to see what my 30’s have in store for me.
However, this brings me to a new question, initiated by this particular article about cruises set up specifically for Cougars (older women that prowl on younger men) and Cubs (those younger men they chose to prey on) Cruising together, one has to assume this is just a HUGE orgy. I mean I have been to Cougar Dens (particular establishments where a mass amount of cougars hang out) and let me tell Cougars are relentless and love the younger man. Have I ever indulged myself, I am always honest so yes I have. If there is one thing you learn about Cougars, they love Cubs and act like you are doing them a favor by hooking up with them, well in a sense I guess you are. Anyway, back to my question, seeing as I will soon be 30 my question is…how old and how young can the girls I date and/or hook up with be?
This is truly a tough decision because in recent years I have tried to stick to rules…no girls under 25 and no girls 3 years older than me. However, since my recent return to single status these rules have been seriously tested. My main rule now (sorry Amanda) is ABSOLUTELY NO girls with cats. Ladies if you are single live by yourself and have a cat, while it may not be the case, men will IMMEDIATELY assume that you are the lonely “cat woman”. So if you have a cat and are looking for a man I say ditch the cat for a little while (give it to Amanda) and all tell tale signs (litter box, cat food, etc) and see if that improves your luck, Trust me on this! (*MODG note: I am awesome, and hot and funny and skinny and cool and I f-ing love cats. That’s right LOVE CATS. In fact I’m in a cat club. And guess what? We’re all hot. All 3 of us….Anyway, This single guy is where you cross my line. THIS is why you’ll be single for the rest of your life. Because of the CATS. PS that girl to my left is a cat lady. TAKE IT.) By the way, I love dogs and girls with dogs (not “really” a big fan of the purse/dress you up in stupid little outfit dogs…sorry for offending anyone) so that is totally fine, actually it is encouraged. I travel too much to have a dog but would love one and if you have one that makes my visits to your place that much more enjoyable.
So back to the question, how old and how young? Well in the young department I think it is entirely dependent upon the girl’s level of maturity…obviously. It is funny, when I dated the author we ultimately stopped dating because she said that I was too crazy for her and she could not keep up with my partying, now I TOTALLY see what she means. Some young girls would totally kill me if I tried to keep up with them. While that makes me feel old and lame I am okay with it, therefore, we just don’t work out…tear. Otherwise, if they’re young (under 25), mature and can relate to me I really have no limitation, with one exception; they must have graduated from college.
As for the high end, this is a tough one. As a 29/30 yr old I do not think I could date older than 34, which might even be pushing it. The older women is where you find A LOT of cat women (!!!!!!!!!) (I am also allergic to cats which further supports my disdain for them), but otherwise I think my only rule is NO KIDS! I have no interest in being a Daddy to someone else’s child. While I one day want a family I want a family of MY OWN. I am not mature enough to accept another man’s child in to my life, that may be shallow but that is okay, call my shallow, stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me (*oooh SG is going to piss off a lot of ladies here with this one….But I’m still on the cats).
Well that was a random post but in my older age I guess I am losing my creativity. So this article was written in the context of the age bracket of women I would date, as for the hook up that is REALLY tough question and begs the follow up question of how much had I drank that night, she must be legal and if it is questionable I need to see some ID, I am not trying to end up like R Kelly.
SG you sound like an asswipe in this article. You are my friend, but you are no Vampire (read: insanely hot and immortal). Just my opinion. And guess what, she doesn’t want to date you anyway.
But we heart honesty around MODG. Have at him bitches. Glad I’m home creating a tablescape for this one….
The internet psychic says you would like this too:
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
{ 71 comments… read them below or add one }
I'm not interested in anyone who doesn't like cats.
Taking myself out of the running.
That cat lady is hot Amanda, I do not disagree, but is she married? If so, then it DOES NOT count! Oh and thanks for spicing up my post with those pictures, especially the old lady giving me the finger, AMAZING!
Ruffling some major cat feathers.
clearly that cat lady is single and not interested in you.
Ha!
He sounds normal too me.
Most guys I know hate cats. Scratch that.
Most STRAIGHT guys hate cats.
Bravo Single Guy!
Wow. It's been so long since I've been single. SO GLAD IM NOT SINGLE
i fear being thrust back into singledom at the age of 29. my bf and i have been together for 4 years now and i am getting close to the shit or get off the pot deadline.
that being said- if i were single, i have to agree that i wouldn't want to date a man with children either…and that would be hard to find at my age, but can't handle baby mama drama. i also don't want to date anyone who has been divorced. i would probably be single for ever…so i kinda hear single guy on this one. (except the cat thing- unless a girl has like 50, i don't think cat=the crazies)
The more you talk…the more interesting you get SG. Obviously you have standards…who doesn't right?!!! You're looking for an older girl who looks young for her age. Lol
-
Cats…this i agree. Can't stand them honestly! The only thing i want licking me…well…i won't go there
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SEARCH
I kinda agree with Amanda on this SG…you come off a bit ass-wipe-y. Especially regarding the cats. I don't even like cats myself but that is an odd generalization to make. For some people they may not have the time for a dog…like yourself, and a cat can be an alternative.
I get where you are coming with about the kids but I still don't really see how you could rule someone out based on that. What if you met the girl of your dreams and she just happened to have a kid?
I am so glad I have no need to date.
Flash Dancing
I'm not gonna lie~I don't hate SG right now. I just think he's being brutally honest.
I'm a single mom with cats, so I want to be angry, but SG is honest enough – “I am not mature enough to accept another man’s child in to my life.” So, I'll dislike him and not date him. He is right for someone else and my man will love a cat owning mommy.
My hubs was the one with the cat when we met. I hated cats. Then he + cat moved in with me (cat = nonnegotiable), and it was love. I wanted my own cat. Then I wanted another. And now we have 3, and he made me a crazy cat lady, and he is never allowed to leave me because I really would end up single forever w/50 cats.
awww, I have to agree with him on this one…I am not a cat person ,BUT I HAVE nothing against people who do have them….I just would never want one. Allergic-kind of (their pee smell gives me a major headache!!!!). I have just had SERVERAL Bad experiences with cats. I stick to dogs. That is Just me!
Second, this is going to make A LOT of people hate me, but before I was married, I used to say I would never date a MAN with kids! But, I was young, so I could say that. I still do not know how I found my 10 year older husband with NO baggage- Good looking, never been married, no kids and a good job! I SWIPED him up in a heartbeat!
I want to be mad at SG, but really since I'm not planning on dating him… not caring so much.
Besides I have a dog.
And I know how hard it is to be with someone who has kids who don't belong to you…and that shit is not for pansies.
As single guy gets older his age brackets might change. I now feel it is fine to date girls half my age but would not consider dating one older then me.
Cats and kids are fine though, dogs aren't!
hmm, where to begin on this one… first, i have to agree with you about the cats. effing hate them (sorry, MODG) and am allergic to them, but that's not saying much because i'm allergic to a lot of things. my admin assistant has four cats and is 54, single, never been married, no kids, etc. guess she fits the stereotype. anyways, regarding age… i am in my mid-20s, my bf is 39. we have quite an age difference, though no one seems to notice. it helps that he looks 30 and is hot. having now been in this relationship for nearly two years, age isn't much of an issue. we find our average age to be around 30 (i'm mature, he's a typical guy), so for us it works.
my whole point, SG: don't pigeon-hole yourself on this age thing. unless of course, they're 17 and that would be gross and illegal.
Love this old lady.. shes hysterical and still much love for SG even though… xxxooo
FYI, cats would be a deal breaker for me too. Just saying…It's hard to make out with someone and feel sexy when your throat is closing up and your nose is on constant wipe/blow mode.
No worries single guy…I'm too old for you, or rather, your too young for me. I'm not interested in training a man, so no offense taken on any level. Love the honesty.
My husband and I met when I was *gasp* 32 and had a cat. He SAID he hated cats…
Guess who was the first person to say, “We need another cat.” after my sweet baby had to be put to sleep at age 17?
I think Single Guy is FOS!
I feel that I should come to SG's defense on this one. If he's allergic to cats then I think that's perfectly fine…just don't mention your “cat lady” theory and blame it on the allergies.
As far as dating someone who already has kids. As selfish as it may sound, he's saying what most other guys are thinking and I have to give him credit for that. We're all about honesty, right?
Not only does SG come off as asswipey, but he appears to be a completely arrogant douche.
Like many young people, I became sexually active while in high school. I also became pregnant. I dealt with those responsiblities & became a mother. Yes, I was young. Yes, there were many BOYS who probably didn't date simply b/c I had kids. And you know what? I'm better off without them. They were all too self-absorbsed to realize what asses they were.
Thanks for the support, just trying to be honest here. But what does FOS mean? Google isnt even helping me on this one.
I've been all those that SG described. My husband was too, didn't get married until he was two months shy of 40 and had changed his mind on his positions (raising someone else's kid was one).
On the other hand, I applaud SG for recognizing his inability to raise someone else's child. Better to be honest about that up front that way no one gets hurt. In my case he would've missed out on a truly amazing kid (not only do I think, but am often told this). But I know lots of kids with lots of problems, so I guess it is a 50/50 chance.
MODG, I wanted to thank you for being a good friend, so I have something at my place if you care to stop by.
What's the guy equivalent of lonely, crazy cat lady? Oh yeah, my 83 year old never married uncle. Spends his time shooting guns, hanging out with other old dudes and chasing unattainable younger women. Could be your future. Just sayin.
P.S. We have good friends who are married and 13 years apart. They are adorable and have two kids. When my teenage son babysits for their daughter, we tease him, “You could be changing the diaper of your future wife.” He's 13 years older than her. He doesn't think we're funny.
FOS = Full of Shit. Thanks MODG
Uh…yeah…he did sound like an asswipe.
My favorite part? Where he apologized for offending people about the doggy dress-up thing; but before that he said that hooking up with a Cougar was like doing them a favor.
And the NO KID thing…? Well, at least he's honest, I guess. And at least he doesn't want to get with someone with a kid and then say he married em and resented the kid and was an asswipe to said kid.
I have to agree that SG is just being honest and kudos to him for recognizing it.
But, SG I'm sorry to break it to you, these are asswipe qualities and will only attract the same asswipe qualities in women.
(shrugs)
Maybe you'll find the the perfect asswipe Single Girl and you'll be soulmates.
I'd have to agree with the no kid thing if I were in his shoes…
I have to applaud you all for coming to SG's defense. God knows I do it enough.
Here's my point
Single guy is setting up these rules in his life
no cats
no underwear
no squishy girls
etc
and MAY be missing out on THE ONE! If you disqualify girls right off the bat you never know what're passing up.
For example. If I passed up gorilla type hairy men, I would not have married B.
I love the part about the dog not being dressed up or put in a purse. I am a single girl with a puppy and the first two rules I made when I got him were 1) he will NEVER, EVER be put in a costume and 2) my purses are way too nice for a dog to crap in them. plus that's just stupid – he has four legs GD it…that's more than me…he can walk.
and sorry, MODG, but i also agree about cats. just not my thing. i don't think its asswipey not to like them. if we are going to excuse him for some of his other picky habits, we will also have to excuse him for this one too.
and p.s. single guy – i just turned 30 and it's no so bad. twenty-somethings were ok, but jay z is definitely right.
and p to the s.
I'm ok with you weirdos not liking cats. I am not ok with people not liking people who like cats. Because they pretty much are geniuses.
Touche MODG:)Because I'd be pretty annoyed if someone didn't like me for having a dog!
I'm 24, and I find it physically impossible to date anyone younger, I literally had a HUGE problem with the fact that my ex was 6 months younger…weird I know.
The oldest I've dated is 34 now, late night make out sessions with 37 year olds don't count…he was in a band. oh college.
I am super allergic to cats and they creep me out, I'm a dog person through and through.
I am 24 and feel like the clock is ticking…is that bad???
SG, you'll be fine, 30 doesn't sound old to 20somethings over 22. Trust.
Dear SG,
While I think you are probably an asshole in real life, not liking cats is not the reason for this.
If I were a dude, I would totally avoid cat ladies. I am not saying that there aren't exceptions, but I just don't buy that all of these self-proclaimed cat lovers are the hotness like they think they are. Cats are weird and for needy people unless you dress them in kitty wigs, then they are accessories.
In terms of age, be like S. He will be 37 when he gets married, but had strict rules to not date anyone over 25. It worked for him…he snagged a non-cat-loving college grad 10 years younger. Dream big, SG, dream big.
Hugs,
Sarah
I'm 28, and I think 24-31 is a good range for me. Outside those boundaries they usually are too immature or too mature!
I'm scared of turning 30!
What about a single girl with a rabbit?
I completely understand where SG is coming from – if I were still single Kids and Cats would both be deal breakers for me. Probably the Cats more so than the Kids. However, I did marry a man 8 years older than me. I don't even remember the age difference most of the time, he doesn't look old, and in all honesty my only fear is that he dies early and leaves me with a bunch of kids and a mini van, probably with a bumper sticker reading “number one single mom.” So we're only having one kid. Just in case.
Strange but I grew up with a rabbit (a Holland Lop to be exact, just so you know I am not lying) so girls with rabbits are totally fine in my book. Love them.
Doing them a favor. Wow. That's just so fantastically fucky that I'm going to have repeat it for the next hour.
Honestly SG, I'm a little disappointed in you: hoped the promises of douchebaggery and asswipieness would lead to something WAY juicier!!
*Side note: that's today's math problem for you. Dbag plus asswipe equals juicy. You're welcome. Also: ew, sorry.
But I'm siding with SG on this, both counts! Pets in general are a dealbreaker for me. I have a hypersensitive nose; a coworker had ketchup on something at lunch yesterday and I could pick it up from four offices away! No offense to any pet owners, yes they're cute & snuggly, but no matter how much you clean, your house is going to smell like animal.
Re: kids, there is an AWFUL lot of potential for drama. I can deal with an ex-wife because she's gone… but a babymomma is forever.
And as for entering the 30s: don't fear the reaper, darling! I'm 31 and my 30s are kicking my 20s' ass!!
Wow.
#1One cat isn't so bad. It's when a woman has like multiple cats that it gets freaky. I happen to have 2 cats, one that's gay and humps blankets and the other is a feral kitten. She's fucking crazy as hell so she's like my ghetto entertainment.
#2Women with kids? Are you kidding me? If I were ever in the single department again (god help me) no man would ever parent my kids. Because they? Are too fucking cool for you. And my daughter will tell you that you are an asshole. She's 4.
#3 Doing us a favor? Are you really serious? If you could keep it up for an hour straight without a break- that might be a favor. But since you can't get a woman to stay around I'm going to assume you have trouble there.
#4 I have not all, but a lot of the qualities that you are so against and not only have I been engaged twice, married once, but I get asked out. Daily. Because I'm so fucking awesome.
And I think it's hilarious that you are willing to put yourself out there. Do you really think any woman would want to hook up with you long term? You are practically a Tiger Woods in training.
Well since Single Guy is getting so “old” maybe he should stop being so picky unless he wants to be old and lonely forever…. PS My husband bought me a cat before we even got married. I have to wonder about a man who is intimidated by a small furry creature which is probably cleaner than he is.
I think he needs to improve his writing skills.
I think dating girls w/ no STD's would be more of a priority than a girl w/ a cat….i think cat women are less skanky
You shouldn't date women if you don't like pussies. I'm just sayin'…
Single Guy looks like a bad union between Jamiroquai's hat and a washed-up Tommy Lee…that alone is the reason he'll stay single forevah!! (if that is indeed him?!)
I have two cats, two kids and a husband so I have no reason to complain.
A woman with a cat = a single guy with a blog in my book! Steer clear ladies… avoid at all costs! You are clearly going through a crisis… poor, poor lil boy.
The best comment was saved for last. Damn I got $hit on today, LOVE IT! Take care everyone, and needless to say that picture is not me, maybe at some point I will let Amanda reveal my identity.
i already know your identity… thanks for the props… enjoy your wknd!
I am so tired of people hating on cats.
Le sigh.
MODG – Love the blog, so nothing against you for what I'm about to write . . .
SG – I think I just fell in love.
SG needs professional help. I. am a professional (veterinarian, that is).
In the biz, we say that crazy cat lady doesn't apply until greater than or equal to 3 cats (you're safe MODG!). And I think it is a shame that you would rule someone out based on cat positive status. However, I would never date someone who didn't love my dog. Maybe that is hypocritical, but oh well.
Have a lovely weekend.
Has SG ever been in love?!?
Im gonna go with no.I think it is freaking crazy to put limitations on someone that you are willing to fall in love with.
haha…! SG, sounds like a total asshole! Wouldn't it totally be divine justtice if he fell madly in love with a girl who LOVES cats???
I LOVE CATS!!! They're very intelligent and CLEAN! Unfortunately, growing up, my entire family HATED cats. They claimed they're all allergic (except me). When I was 8 years old, I snuk a vagabond cat into the house and had her live in the closet for many days until mother heard her meaow. She grabbed the cat and walked her all the way to the front door with me, on my knees, crying my little ass of, and begging her to please please please let me keep her. I must have been so pitiful, because she let me keep her, but I was not allowed to let her inside the house.
I still snuk her in many nights to sleep with me and no one knew. One day, I found her dead. I never knew what happened to her. I lived in a village. We had no doctor, much less a vet. I buried her and my uncle, who was a carpenter, made me a tiny cross for her. Her name was Lucresia. It broke my heart.
Sadly, I married a man who also HATES cats.
*sigh* (now I'm sad)
All I have to say is GOOD LUCK, I'm sure there is someone out there who will meet your standards!
I don't kid myself about the sex appeal of having someone else's child or being an “older woman” or owning an allergy-inducing pet, and it keeps me on the ground. You shouldn't deceive yourself either about your 30s being the new 20s, and you'll be fine. (Just forget all the analogous nonsense like 'fat is the new skinny', 'slutty is the new faithful', or 'a-hole is the new gentleman'.) Otherwise, you could end up as that creepy old guy with the highlights or the half bald-half long hair or the droopy jewelry … Just being benevolent and trying to help.
Sorry to say it but Texas is going to lose SG Arch Nemesis. And its SG not SD!!
I'd totally sleep with Single Guy. I mean, I think. I mean, if he's hot.
Wait, what? Is this not relevant? I don't know, maybe I'm blinded by my raging new girl crush on you. Or, you know, something more socially appropriate.
/end scene
Hmm, why are cats such a deal breaker SG?
As SG gets older, he will also indeed run into more girls that have pets because they just feel like it.
I will be laughing my booty off if he himself ends up with a cat and is the cat man to some cat lady.
What's wrong with wanting certain things in a spouse/partner/whatever and sticking to it? I'm not saying the petty,insignificant things, but kids aren't petty and insignificant. If more people knew themselves well enough to know what they are looking for in a spouse (and refused to compromise because it is such an important thing in life), maybe our divorce rate would be lower. As it is, too many people “settle,” and then end up unhappy in their marriages.
Kudos to SG for recognizing that he wouldn't make a good step-dad and not putting the kid(s) through the torture. Personally, I've always said that I didn't want to date/marry someone who had already been married or had kids either. I had reasons different from SG, but they were still important to me.
And, by the way, I'm now happily married to a wonderful man who had never been married and has no kids.
I agree with SG about the kid thing. I don't date men with kids; I want to be a mommy, not a wicked step-mother.
Granted, I'm in a hateful, pissy mood but this post made me want to be a lesbian.
At 30, you still have a lot of options. Who can say when you're going to meet the girl of your dreams, and what if she's 18? What if she's 45? What if she does have kids, grandkids in fact? I think you just can't imagine it because it hasn't happened. And when you open yourself up to the possibilities, you'll find the right person for you.
I don't get why people are hating on a guy for having rules when everyone does to a degree. As a female, I do the same. For example, anyone who likes Nascar is known to be off limits, as is a bad gene pool, crazy ex-girlfriends and any other questionable behaviors. A single guy with cats = definite no. Am I picky? Yes. But I also know that when I meet a guy I like, he's passed all the other tests and has great potential.
You like what you like, however I think when you are that close minded you miss out on cool chicks that may have gotten left to care for the family cat b/c no one else wanted him. Just sayin'
He likes rabbits he can say whatever he wants!
I'm so late to this convo… but SG, I DO NOT blame you for not wanting to date a girl with kids. I'm probably gonna marry a guy w/ a kid and I'm just a tad bitter about it. He's super awesome though so I guess that's just the price I have to pay.
Besides usually kids live with moms not dads so while I only need to deal w/ a kid a few days if you dated a mom the kid will likely be a much bigger issue.
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