First: You are all my serious heart song. Or as B would say “severious” heart song. Thank you all for voting for me to be fashion queen of the usa. Keep voting. Your pies are ordered and you are making my life awesome. Speaking of making my life awesome….
I hate hearing about someone’s awesome shit when my shit is not good. Like when I’m feeling fat from those girl scout cookies that I put on a pizza and oh, it’s raining AND yeah, B says no more spending money. At that moment, I don’t want to hear how you were just crowned skinniest girl with the bestest slut-long hair in the tri-state area. I want to hear how you are also a fat beast with an oppressive husband in the suburbs like me. I’m telling you this because you’ve spent the past week hearing about the best vacation known to man-kind and then how I accidentally am winning a fashion contest and oh did I tell you in 2007 I won Justin Timberlake meet and greet passes? No? I didn’t? Add it to your hate pile, but my complete interview failure may make you feel better..
So Lucky Magazine does in fact call me yesterday to interview me about my personal style. Apparently this interview was 1/3rd of my entry. Things I probably should not have said:
- Oh yeah I actually forgot about your super important contest all together that like 7000 people are dying to win. Good thing you emailed me twice.
- Yeah, judges of personal style contest, I get that you want me to define my style, but I don’t really have a personal style, I mix like sequins with ski bibs.
- No I wasn’t always stylish. Ask anyone from 1999 who was forced to see an inch of my stomach and flare pants at any given frat party.
- Oh yeah I live in the suburbs. I jazz it up for Trader Joe’s trips and the restaurant we frequent in a strip mall.
- I’m 29. Almost 30!
With that being said, I AM STILL IN THE TOP 15. This is the part where you hate me. I’m ok with that. Just don’t hate me enough to not
vote. I promise after today we’ll move onto poop and toilets and vaginas some more.
FASHION sparkles,
MODG
POSTED IN: Awesome things,Drunk Stuff,MODG,Style
So if you follow me on facebook or twitter you know I’m currently whoring myself out for votes in a contest I’m accidentally winning. Here’s the deal. I get back from my trip today and the publishing company from Lucky Magazine is emailing me not once, BUT TWICE trying to get a hold of me.
they’re like
Amanda, we want to have a call with you to talk about your style because you’re in the TOP 15.
Like the drunk asshole I am on permanent vacation, I miss this email.
Second email comes
Um, Amanda, this is insane that you are not responding are you a complete moronic ass fart?
Answer:
pretty much PLEASE CALL ME I’M SORRY I LOVE YOU.
(ok so I paraphrased)
So my girl Kristin at BonBon Rose entered this contest and I was like, man I want to enter. So I did and I forgot all about it. But apparently I’m doing very well (Kristin is too). If I’m chosen as one of the top 3 I could be in Lucky Magazine. Um DIE DIE DIE. And you know I would make it a sparkle fest in your face.
But I need you to vote for me.
Remember when I never put up advertisements on MODG? Remember when I posted your confessions and toilets? Remember when I sent you all pies? No? I did.
PLEASE VOTE FOR ME. I WILL CLEAN YOUR TOILET FOR FREE.
Here is the winning look. You know I heart a good stripe. I look wonk in the face and everyone is probably voting for B’s hotness (like I care).
vote vote vote VOTE
super loves.
MODG
*UPDATE*
Just got off the phone with Lucky Magazine. Um fully dying my face off in 3 thousand ways. I may have told them I wore massive amounts of nude ‘hose and chunky flats in high school. Mistake?
POSTED IN: Drunk Stuff,MODG,Style
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
