March 2010

March 24, 2010

My life was threatened on the California Coast. Good thing I’m a squirrel genius.

California is stupid beautiful. Yesterday B and I spent the day driving up the coast from LA to San Jose. We saw some of the most insane awesome sights I have ever seen. I pretty much expected 12 rainbows to shoot out of a mountain next to the unicorn breeding farm that definitely existed in this land of mystery and [...]

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March 22, 2010

A Picture in Front of Suri’s House.

I would have shown you an actual picture of Suri but she was taking this photo. This will have to do. Hollywood Hearts.

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March 21, 2010

I’m drunk on time zone and this may not make sense. But I’m in LA. I know that.

Hi. Meet west coast Amanda. She’s spray tanned and smells like cat pee (says B) and never has any idea what time it is. Time zones are a serious challenge for me. Flight day blew. Hard. I’m talking Chicago airport for hours and hours. There’s only so many times I can hear someone say Ohh [...]

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March 19, 2010

UPDATED This news will affect you in one, if not 27 ways. PLUS BOYS IN HALF SHIRTS

News news booz jews NEWS. B and I leave for **vacation** tomorrow. What What?! I know, I’ve kept it a secret from you because I didn’t want to cause unnecessary panic on the internet. I also didn’t want to give robbers and thieves any time to put together a real game plan. TOO BAD robbers [...]

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March 18, 2010

Kimmy K: Everyone says that I can do better than you and your shoes, but I’d really like to see where this relationship is going. Love, MODG

Many of you are concerned for me and my relationship with Kim Kardashian. You’re all, dude she’s screwing you over and you can do better! I know I know. Ok here’s the deal. Apparently Kim’s shoes are on like 40 other websites like trannygirlshoes4life.com and ilovecheapshit.com (don’t go to those websites I made them up) [...]