Meeting internet friends can go one of 2 ways. Rape or not rape. I am delighted to report that B and I met Sarah and S in New York on Saturday, sans rape and as a bonus, no murder either. So overall it was a huge success. I’m going to be honest though, this was my 3rd time meeting a friend from the internet. B says it’s because I’m way cool.
Here’s a little backwash for those of you like, who is Sarah and what’s an S? Sarah is my internet friend who I met back when MODG was orange and pink and ghetto. And when I say “met”, I mean commented on each other’s blogs. Which is totally like the 2010 version of “meeting”. We’ve stayed close and I put it out there that I deserve to be invited to her wedding. Well, S, her fiance was like, NO INTERNET FRIENDS AT THE WEDDING. And so began the plan for us to become more than internet friends. We were going to become internet lovers. Don’t be sick, we were going to meet in person. And we did.
Let me set the scene for you. Imagine you’re going on a blind date and you talk to your date through technology for like 9 months. And one of you traveled halfway across the country. Oh and your husband is there like, Dude, what if she has a deep monster voice? Ok I don’t know why your husband in on your blind date, but he is. Oh and it’s another girl. But not in a lesbian way. And the entire future of your super important virtual relationship depends on this very moment. Oh and you have to be super funny because that’s what people expect. You’d probably have poop pains too.
Sarah and S are like fancy. We ate at a restaurant that had foods on it like baby lambs broken heart and odd box of squid parts. And I was like, I’ll have the kids menu pasta. And they were all, I bet that baby is delicious. But I am also a huge asshole about food in general and given the choice, I’ll take some purdue chicken nuggets over a baby any day. Actually, over most foods. So maybe this is a statement more about me than their fanciness.
I give our meeting 4 hearts out of 5. It would have gotten 5 if my poop didn’t ruin the night. But like any normal dinner, everyone made out at the table and we’re planning our eventual move to be neighbors in Nashville and join/prank Junior League and have babies and start a band with a keytar and a cat ears. Oh, I did accidentally put my ass in a stranger’s face. Like really close so that his nose was touching my skirt. Yes that happened at dinner. Oh and then, my poop pains got so bad from holding in a fart all night that I got sick. Like for real I might die from a fart sick. But before I hussled out to the pot, we had a photoshoot. Because that’s what friends do.
Any good friendship starts with hate.
But then we prayed about it because I'm a reverend.
And our prayers were answered and we became Asian tourists and super strength friends.
Ok who’s next? I’m getting so good at this internet friend thing. I’d like to be internet homecoming queen in 2011.
Hearts, MODG.
PS. Check with her to see if we passed the wedding invitation test.
The internet psychic says you would like this too:
- Preppy Pornography….not really. Please don’t come here creepy internet porno creeps. Like SG for example.
- B has declared war. Little does he know I have the internet on my side.*WARNING* There is math in this post
- Breaking my blog friend seal. San Francisco stole my interweb virginity.
- Internet: Meet everyone who hates me. They are delightful gems.
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
I want that skirt.
I’m so demanding.
I thought this weekend storm activity seemed full of life – must have been the meeting between you both (that was this weekend right?). You and B should totally move to Nashville – then I’d only have to drive 2 hours in the hopes to “meet” you fo’ real and I could sip on southern cocktails and watch this rad band you’re planning on starting.
Sarah it’s nice to finally see your face – I bet you guys had a blast, while it lasted.
A – girl I totally know what you mean about poop pains and holding in farts to be polite. I don’t do it often but it’s always the same thing – SICK SICK SICK! I actually went to the doctor in 3rd grade for this they finally told me, hey dumbass JUST FART! I blame that doctor for my lack of lady like behavior when it comes to gas. I hope you’re feeling better!
*STARS HAVE ALIGNED* *FINGERS CROSSED YOU MAKE IT TO Sarah & S’s BIG DAY*
YAY!! So glad you had a good visit, minus the poop pains. =( Those are never fun!
I’ve noticed that the internet thing NEVER workouts out. I’ve made awesome bffffffff friends with internets then we meet in person and its like oh boy yousuck and i dont know what to do about it anymore.
I’d be up for a meeting because we probably wouldn’t like each other so i’d have no expectations. that’s a compliment.
I thought the sky was full of rainbows Saturday night, now I know why! Yay for good times.
I have an internet bff who I would totally cheat on my husband with. The boy is like 5 years younger than me so that makes it a bit weird. But he’s cute in a you-need-to-be-defiled sort of way.
I LOVE that you guys met. Big sorry for the poo pains. That totally blows – ha ha.
The hubs says meeting Internet besties is weird, so we lied to our hubs and told them we had joint friends. Two years later we are still trying to pull that off, except I forgot who we supposedly met through. I always have to change the subject.
I hope you passed that wedding test. And you know, I live in the Houston area, and would pretty much stalk you if you came here. Does that make you famous now that you have a stalker? I think so.
Well I’m glad you guys had a good visit and there was no rape or murdering involved. Always a plus.
So glad you and Sarah met! She’s gorgeous! Poop Pains are the worst, at least the photoshoot turned out amazing!
YAY move to Nashville!! We’re not ALL Junior League Bitches, I promise. Although, full disclosure: there are quite a few of them here. But they are offset by way super cool people like the rest of us!
I don’t even see the poop pains through the photoshoot…..way to keep a pokerface! : )
S said “I like them. She’s way less Asian in person.” I think he might be racist.
Not. Flattering. Pictures.
And I am so glad you admitted to the Internet you had poop problems and shoved your ass on another person’s table.
Next time I will bring my Texas accent.
I feel like all the planets lined up or something else major. I can’t wait to find out if you’re going to be a wedding guest.
EPIC! It’s so nice to see what Sarah actually looks like. You guys look like you are going to eff some serious shit up in that second picture.
I’m sorry about your poop issues, but glad that you had lots of fun otherwise.
So fun! I read Sarah’s blog too!
I want your outfits. Both of you. Looks like loads of fun though. I want to hear more about this man smelling your skirt.
Correction: You want to be ASIAN Internet Homecoming queen 2011.
And you know where Colorado is. ZOE IS NEXT.
You two are wicked pretty. I can’t believe Sarah didn’t make you black out her face though.
FINALLY Sarah’s face is shown. I was wondering if she was part mutant or something. Turns out she’s really pretty and probably didn’t want people to get all intimidated by her beauty. You guys make a cute couple!
If you are ever in NC we MUST hang out !
Look at you two little love birds!!! By the looks of it you passed the wedding invitation test
Boo on that business.
Sorry that your poop decided to ruin the evening and making it a four instead of a five
I like your new digs. Very nice. If you had met me instead I wouldn’t have made you eat in a place that served babies. Just saying.
I think if you look close enough you can see the fart brewing in my middles.
And of course, you’re both gorgeous.
You don’t even look like you have poop pains going on.
This makes me have my own poop pains.
LOVE your new blog layout! I haven’t read in FOREVER- my new job keeps me too busy…. but so glad to catch up…KK: you fail (the shoes were all fug) and yay that you and Sarah finally met
I look at those pics, and I think about how uncomfortable you were.
Can you please start some sort of Internet Homecoming Queen poll? Because I’d totally stuff the ballot box for myself.
You did take B along though…just in case rape was on the cards, eh?
When you say “I do important things here. Like your mom…”.I assume you are not telling us all that you are “doing” our mothers? Because that would not be very friendly or nice, you know.
Yay for the successful meeting! You two make a cute internet couple!
First, love your skirt!
Second, I hear you on the poop pains. It’s horrible and I hate holding in farts.
Finally, your meet up sounds awesome and I think you totally scored a wedding invite!
For the record, I am not 6 months pregnant. The first picture is a combination of a bad angle, MAJOR BLOATING, and a bad shirt choice.
Looks like you two had a great first time meeting, in a “to catch a preditor” kind of way of course…
I can totally tell you have a turtle head sticking out in that one pic…just sayin…
If that meeting didnt score a wedding invite i dont know what will .
OMG. I discovered your blog and I’m in lust. First of all, I am in the Junior League, but I wish I was actually just pranking it. I need to know more about this. And B, I die for your monogrammed pillows. Die.
I’m upset there are no toilet pics. So disappointing.
But no worries, I’ll still stalk your blog because it’s just freakin fab.
I have internet friends coming in town this weekend for my birthday!!! I hope they don’t care that I’m a serial murderer.
CONGRATS MODG!!!!!
You both have jail-face in the second picture, and it scares me in a really exciting way. I might print it out and frame it (for my bathroom, of course).
OMG…her face. She showed it. You two are so dang cute!
i vote nashville! duh. it’s so great. it’s my fav.
Sounds like a fabulous meeting–I mean, what more could ask for? No rape AND no murder = success! Glad you guys are official real-life friends now. Perhaps I can get on your bloggie meet-up dance card
Super fun, you better get to go to the wedding now.
um, firsts off: you guys are the hotness. seconds: of COURSE you’re going to the wedding, HELLERRRR who wouldn’t invite you??!! thirds: PUH-LEASE come to nashville!!! it is truly the best place for making a band/drinking cocktails/and TOTES pranking junior league. not that i know any junior league ladies, i’m pretty sure my general me-ness counts me out of any JL activities…
anxiously awaiting your southern shit storm…
maggie
Popping on over from Sarah’s blog — Priceless!!!
So I’m gone for like, 4 months – maybe 5, and you have a new look? WTF. I was friends with you when you were orange and ghetto too – btw… just saying.
Looks like you two had fun. It’s about time you were invited to the wedding.
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