So yesterday was fun. I got to show off cute outfits and talk about my cool trip and how Euro I am. Neat for everyone. Today we get real.
I’m going to talk to you about cruises. Cruises are not ok. They are a fat bag of cheesey cheese and not for me. And here’s why I know more than you about this or anyone else who has ever been on a cruise. I WAS SOBER. I promise that you were not. So that class you took on Faberge Eggs was not normal. Or that time it was you vs. the crew in a hot game of shuffle board? Not normal. OR that time you did a whiskey tasting followed 1 hour by a scotch tasting and then pounded beers with your friends and then came back to the room and fell asleep in your jeans and snored your face off next to your pregnant wife…I mean…
The best part of cruises that no one who works on a cruise is American. So they do things that Americans think they will like. Like internet classes. Or a show with 5 Russians singing Johnny Be Good. But I can handle that. What I can’t handle is the CHEESE.
What do I mean by cheese? I mean the pictures they take of you and then sell them to you for 19.95 and you’re all, what asshole would actually buy those pictures?
And then you buy those pictures.
In conclusion, the best part of a Cruise is Suri.
(see how I did that clever word thing?)