Nothing says “appropriate” like 4 bottles of vodka and a pregnant woman in leggings. Last time the MODG house brought you a Walmart crib and beer. Today we bring you babies and vodka.
love. sweet love.
One thing you may not know about B and I is that we are known for our infused vodkas. And I don’t say “known” necessarily in a “wow did you have some of the MODG’s awesome infused vodka?” More of, “yeah B and A make that weird vodka every year and usually it’s gross” kind of way. Like last year for Christmas I was all, I’m an expert at infusing vodka so I’m going to make a special Christmas miracle called gingerbread vodka. Let’s just say our friends and family within a 100 mile radius will never consume a ginger product ever again. Ever. Except my co-worker’s 18 year old brother who took a case off my hands. So if you want to get on our Christmas list, let me know. We have some openings.
B: "mine, all mine and not yours". He was totally thinking that. Rude right?
Now I don’t know about you, but when I hear “baby shower” (I’m going overboard on the ” ” today. apologies) I think hard liquor. I mean, I’ve never been to one, but if I did I would hope and expect serious drinks to be available. So since we’re planning our own baby bash, I plan to create the party I would want to be at. And this is only stage one.
But can I TELL you the hard core misery dispair I felt making this Plankton Potion? It’s like locking Britney in a Starbucks and shutting the whole operation down for a week, and then times that by 9 months. Or whatever that is divided by a week. Whatever. Math, sick. But I am doing this all for the good of the people. Like I said, I hope at the future baby showers which I will attend, my upper AND downer needs are adequately taken care of.
so I TRIED to frown for this picture to display ultimate visual sadness. But vodka makes smiles shoot out of my heart. Even if I can only touch it. That is love.
Oh and I have to stop calling it a baby shower. It’s a baby bash. Which is actually a keg party. Which I had to plan on the only Saturday in the fall when Penn State was not playing. Which is also why my wedding was in February. Not bitter.
So, it’s Friday and that means you have to prove your worth and contribute something to this blog. Like I said, I’ve never been to a baby shower OR a baby bash. I HAVE been to many keg parties. But I need to know from those who have been to baby parties, what was awesome? What blows? I’m open to some traditional things as long as no one has to touch me. Also I’m not opening gifts for everyone to see. I would imagine that’s right up there with watching the NFL draft. THAT’S RIGHT, I SAID IT B.
Happy Friday and bring it. You’re good at telling me what to do. The 300 comments telling me what to name my baby, prove it.
Love,
Sober MODG.
;laksjdf;aiowuer[08uq;foiakjsdfl;kj!!!
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
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As someone who has SUFFERED through too many baby showers, filled with cutesie gifts, dumb games, and mind-numbing chit-chat, I commend you for providing alcohol at your baby bash. If more people offered booze at their showers, perhaps I’d be more inclined to enjoy myself and not groan my way through.
i have been to several baby showers, had a few of my own and even thrown some. of all the things i have ever done at a baby shower the most amusing game played was called the dirty diaper game. basically you put various chocolate bars in diapers and melt the chocolate bars in the microwave for 30 seconds or so. (i prev did 10 different bars – and looked for chocolate bars that are hard to find anymore) you then give each person a sheet of paper and pass around the dirty diapers. the guests can examine the contents of the dirty diaper, smell them – i even caught people TASTING them to determine the chocolate bar inside. the guest who guesses the most correct wins a prize! LOL. so much fun for men and women! http://baby-shower.yeahbaby.com/game.php?page=103
I so agree with Jennifer on the dirty diaper game – and if you are liquoring them up it will be extra fun! Just don’t buy the damn size 5 diapers to do it. Newborn or size 1 max.
I think it’s wildly considerate of you to provide alcohol.
I like babies, I like my friends and I like baby things but even I have a limit of how many times I can say, “That’s so cute!”
Booze helps.
I just threw a baby shower (no alcohol=sads) for my good friend. The only game that I loved playing was trivia questions about the mom-to-be/dad-to-be. We printed about 25 questions out and had people answer them on the sheets of paper. We called out the answers at the end, and whoever had the most got a prize (maybe a shot in your case?!). Questions like when’s the due date, what’s Amanda’s fave/least fave part of being pregnant, what date were Amanda/B married, who did Amanda first tell that she was prego, etc. etc.
As someone who has no kids, I’d just be grateful you’re supplying alcohol and trying to make sure everyone has fun!
OMG, that looks soooo good.
Okay, have you ever had horseradish vodka? Sounds sooo bad, tastes sooo god!
I’ve given lots of baby showers and they were all only second to awesome because the most awesome one would include this game that I love but that my friends always veto. It’s called guess the candy bar poop, and basically you stick a candy bar inside a diaper and then melt it for like 20 seconds in the microwave. Then, the guests have to guess the candy bar poop/dirty diaper. They might lick the poop or smell the poop or want to eat the poop. Whatever tickles their pickle.
And you can use all kinds of imaginative candy bars, obviously.
Think of the possibilities!
Oh yeah she vetoed this idea in like the first 5 comments…haha…people aren’t in to smelling shit.
Ha! so I left my comment and then just read the one where the girl said please do not play the best game ever.
whatever. it is your choice whether or not to have the Best Baby Shower in America or not.
((also, i should mention that I have had three strawberry infused vodka club sodas before I am reading this post… now I think I need one more.))
(((Okay, just one more comment.))) Here is a good idea for your baby shower cake:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2010/05/baby-cake-gets-cut-down-to-size.html
Okay, really this is the last comment (until I think of something else awesome) and this one IS actually helpful.
Have you thought about a bloody mary bar? You can set out the vodka, a variety of mixes and different garnishes (cucumber slices, pepperocini, pickled okra, pickled green beans), pepper, hot sauce, horseradish, etc, etc, and peeps can make themselves their own bloody marys.
(p.s. I drank all my vodka so I am now on to rum)
As a person with 75 cousins who has been to many many many many baby showers, please don’t play the games. I hate the games. They’re embarrassing. Just serve the booze and food. Trust me – your guests (especially those that don’t have children) will appreciate the lack of game antics… and the abundance of booze will keep them more than occupied… and happy.
Vodka + berries + MODG = all sorts of sparkle happy. Period.
I can tell you what game NOT to play. Memory. I went to a shower a few weeks ago and we had to play effing MEMORY. Even better? Half the attendees were over 60 and possibly in the early stages of dementia. That damn game lasted 45 minutes.
Games blow regardless of what kind of game it is. If you do decide to open up presents in front of your guests the only game that would be good is a bingo game so your guests can win some nice $ store prizes! You get a blank bingo card and have your guests write what they think that you will get. It is the only way to keep your guests from falling asleep while you open up gifts. I am super jealous that you are providing alcohol. Obviously my friends and family suck because they have never offered alcohol at any of the baby showers that I have been to!
I literally had to wipe the drool off of my mouth so as not to get my keyboard wet after opening this post. In the name of all things that are holy, I HAVE TO TRY AND MAKE THIS INFUSION!! Omg.
Also? Booze at a Baby Shower = pure genius.
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