August 2010

Why NOT leave all important decisions to internet strangers? Please name my child. PLEASE.

Many of you have asked if we have picked a name yet for our little Plankton. Apparently you don’t think that Plankton is a good enough name. It’s ok, B doesn’t either. And the answer is no we don’t have a name, but kind of, but not really and I’m not sure. All of those [...]

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Yesterday you showered me with compliments. Today you are given free rein to mock me. I would if I were you.

So yesterday was fun. I got to show off cute outfits and talk about my cool trip and how Euro I am. Neat for everyone. Today we get real. I’m going to talk to you about cruises. Cruises are not ok. They are a fat bag of cheesey cheese and not for me. And here’s [...]

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Hey MODG, where were you last week? The weirdest parts of Europe you can imagine. And some you can’t. For real.

You: Hey MODG, you seem distant and weird. Me: That’s because I was secretly in Russia. You: Yeah right. That’s really weird. Me: Duh. Even doubler secret. I was also in Estonia, Sweden, Denmark and Finland last week. PREGNANT. You: You are dumb. Me: Super duh. That’s right. I tricked your faces. I was in [...]

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CONFESSION FRIDAY IS HERE. now you can all leave me alone.

It’s back it’s back IT’S BACK. My god. I have never “seen” so many internet friends dying to put their grossest secrets on the internet. I’ll be honest. Confession posts are a pain in the ass for me. Going back and reading through them, injecting witty comments, finding pictures, designating princesses. You know, it’s a [...]

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An open letter to B’s feet. I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU.

Dear B’s Feet, I am writing you this formal complaint to ensure that you completely understand how you are ruining my life and my marriage. I am here to tell you that you are self-centered and have a sense of “importance” that is not deserved or warranted. You are feet. Not Suri Cruise. Remember that. [...]

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