Um, you guys. This is hard. It’s day 2 on my own with B back to work. Gavin has dontputmedown disease. Well it’s not a disease. But he’s severely adverse to surfaces of the earth that aren’t arms and maybe a sling on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I tried to put him in super fun surfaces like swings. Who doesn’t like a swing? They are the basis for childhood fun. Baby G doesn’t, that’s who. So here I am: greasy hair, hairy armpits, constipated, dehydrated, hungry and drained of all of my sparkle.
I keep telling myself that everyone in the world does this. I am not the best but I’m not the *worst* or the world. I can’t be. That idiot Kate did it with 8 asians and those jesus people have like 32 kids. I’m like fairly normal with a college education and common sense. I need to get it together.
However, I did manage to find time for the important things. A photoshoot. Yes, I can’t eat a meal or take a poop on my own but I can schedule a professional photographer. There’s nothing I like better than staring at pictures of my baby. It gets me through the weird vibrating chin scream that he does from about 8pm till shoveanippleinhisface pm.
Here are some of my favorites. Maybe one day I’ll be able to write a real post that doesn’t revolve around me copping out with pictures of my baby. Maybe.
Yes my pillows are monogrammed. Combined they say BAD ASS. I only wish you could see them both. And that’s Charlie, the fame whore. Willy was in the corner rolling his eyes.
PS
Keep giving me advice. I haven’t been able to respond to all of your comments but I appreciate any and all words from experienced moms. Because I’m apparently Special Ed in babies.
The internet psychic says you would like this too:
- If you have small boobs, back away from this post. Slowly. BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.
- This Post Makes Me Less Cool. Hard to do….
- At least this time I wrote a real post before whoring myself out for votes. Also B is Tony Danza.
- If I came to this blog and I read this post, I would vomit up my cheerios. Warning has been issued.
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
{ 175 comments… read them below or add one }
This post just put me into denial. I want to believe I will be able to shower and poop after I pop my kid out in June. hang in there, you make it look good.
ADORABLE pics. Gavin is super cute. I’m not a mother and it scares the crap out of me reading all your stories and the ones of all my family and friends with babies, but I guess, keep it up! The baby phase will be over before you know it and you’ll be running all over the place trying to childproof your home.
GAH. Love the one with Charlie. Or is it Willy?
wait, does that pillow have the word ASS monogrammed on it? It does doesn’t it.
Anyhow, the cliches are true. It gets easier. It will be over before you know it. And the rest of the trillion you hear people say.
Get a water sling and shower with the baby. It will probably help the both of you.
Also try to shower, you may not eat a hot meal for another few months. And it may be years before your sleep goes back to normal. But washing your hair and being in a hot shower, even for 5 minutes…it really makes a difference. So even if you lose a little sleep…it’s worth it.
Just when I thought I had silenced my screaming uterus…
Precious pics! I’m not a mom, but as an aunt to 5 nephews and nieces I have some experience. They all loved vibrating bouncers….the constant vibrating just did something for them. YOU NEED A BREAK. Seriously someone needs to come over and let you sleep for at least an hour and eat- Grandparents are great for this. Also, my sis in law loved to use those soaking feet bubble machines while she nursed. Baby gets fed and you get some foot action, try it.
Oh my god, I LOVE the foot bath idea! Why did no one bring me a footbath 3 months ago when I was sleep deprived and delirious?! MODG, you should totally have B set one up for you at least once a day. Maybe twice.
i don’t have any experience from which to draw any motherly advice for you, but lil G is fucking adorable.
Lovely pictures!
As to advice, I know you tried the swing, but have you tried a bouncer (or a vibrating papazan chair, as it really looked to me)? My kid loved that more in the beginning, then moved on to liking the swing. Barring that, I say slings or other carriers (my kid hated the sling, but loved the baby bjorn and ergo). Other than that, just commiseration. The beginning is hard yo.
Omg he is the cutest! And unfortunately, the crying will continue. You’re going to have to learn to block it out. And of course it sucks if you’re nursing because your boobs are gonna leak. So feed him, change him and put him down and B may have to man up and take care of it so you can walk away. Another suggestion would be the vacuum cleaner. Yes. Put him in the swing, turn it on and turn the vacuum cleaner on next to him. Babies are used to what is called “white noise” – something that sounds like what they heard in the womb. I had a friend who’s kid couldn’t fall asleep unless the vacuum was running. My youngest daughter was fine with AC/DC and the swing. You’ll get the hang of it
Oh yes! I used the blow dryer a lot for that!! I didn’t put it close to her, but set it on cold, left it in the bathroom with the doors open, so she could hear it!!!
Ok so unfortunately I can’t help out with the baby advice as I am only 22 and still in college BUUTTTT I just wanted to say OMGJDIELAFJ I really loved these baby pictures. It ALMOST made me look forward to having a little one of my own some day.
And I also wanted to ask where your couch was from haha
hehe this made me laugh…. x x
That baby is freaking cute. I’ll take pictures of baby Gavin and Charlie over placenta pics any day!
i love that you got a picture with your “bad ass” monogrammed pillows in the background. fannnnntastic. also? gavin is ridiculously adorable!
Oh, wow, those pictures are sooooo cute!!! (I love how the ASS pillow is in the pic, too.) Before I had my son, I worked as a nanny, so I figured I was all prepared. Yeah, right. So don’t feel bad. And it was a good day if I managed to eat breakfast AND lunch both before my hub got home. And I learned the value of showering at night. Hub can watch baby so you get to shower in PEACE. And if showers turn out to be an hour long, oh, well.
Word. This is still how I shower. Husband takes baby at 7pm and I take a ridiculously long shower, then I blow dry my hair, and on occasion even wax the hairy places like legs and armpits and stuff. I don’t come out of the bathroom till A needs my boobs again. Don’t worry, B can handle it!
We went from no kids to two kids under two in less than 14 hours. We weren’t pregnant. We weren’t planning on adopting. But when a family member called and asked us to take them, we did and it’s been amazing and hard since. I hadn’t given birth but I did go thru the whole no shower/no sleep/no me time thing for several months while our daughters sorted themselves out.
Give yourself time and plenty of slack. Yes, lots of people do this. But lots of people aren’t you and their babies aren’t Gavin. You’re the only one that you’re up against. This is the only time in your life you’ll be home with your first new baby. So if he wants to be held all the time, hold him. And when B gets home, shove Gavin in his arms and go shower. It’ll be fine. You’ll figure it out.
And you’ll get your sparkle back.
Super well said.
I’ll check back with you in the fall when G is 11 months old since that’s how old my daughter was when I adopted her. I have no baby experience and no boob feeding experience, so basically, I am of NO help. By the time G is 11 months old you’ll be good anyway and if I can do it anyone can! My daughter is now 7 1/2 and still alive and healthy!
Those pics are adorable, he is gorgeous!!!!
He’s so precious!! Those little arm rolls are killing me!!! It will get easier, I pray for you it will. I have to say the family portrait with the cat is my favorite. Which baby is that? [I can never tell unless seeing their faces]. *sending sleep vibes to Baby G and you*
p.s. I love the monogram pillows in the family portrait “ASS” it made my day!
im totally not a mother but i have some advice you may take or just delete considering im far (imo) away from child baring years.
all babies are different, some sleep 12 hours, some wake up every hour, others never cry and some never stop. no matter what category your baby fits into the one thing that stays the same is routine! you have to find a routine so you and your baby can find sanity. if you are stressed out and tired all day your baby will feel that and he will get stressed out. don’t let him control your habits now or they will stay this way until he can make a grilled cheese himself and drink milk from a cup instead of a nipple. since i really have no clue about babies, i dont know how often a newborn baby is suppose to eat but waking up every hour on the hour sounds insane.
also i’ve heard a lot when babies cry non stop you shouldn’t go to them every single time because they will learn that is the only way you exist is when they are screaming. if you let him cry out his issues every once in a while you will get some things done and he will learn to cope without you every millisecond of his tiny cute little life.
yep. agreed. routine, babies need it.
the first six – twelve weeks are hard but you’ll get through it. you’ve heard it before but it’s true they grow up so quickly and these crazy early months will be a distant fuzzy memory in no time at all.
on a cheery note, you’re photos are really beautiful. I totally regret not having professional ones taken of my babies.
xx
Crying it out sucks. And does not work for newborns. Older babies, maybe. You’ll find out when you have your own, Jenn.
My doctor told me that if I was going to do cry it out at the newborn age, to only do it for 10 minutes, and then go to her. I was told letting a newborn cry it out was not good. They recommend to try cry it out at 5 months or older. I did it with mine when she was 6 months at bedtime. She cried for one hour the first night. The second night she cried for 40 minutes. The third night she cried for 10 minutes. After that, she’s been going to bed without a fuzz….except when she began teething…then things got ugly.
On the other hand, sometimes, you just need to take a shower, and well, you just have to let them cry for a little bit while you do your things. He will be ok…I promise!
No to crying it out! Esp that young!! They cry because it is how they COMMUNICATE..so..they cry..you ignore it andddd…yeah, that just sucks! Take it from a mom who’s ‘been there, done that’. My son was a preemie & had wicked reflux & wouldn’t let me put him down the first 3-4 months, EVER! I slept with him on my chest in a recliner most nights & learned how to cook one handed. BUY. A. SLING!!!
Best advice anyone ever gave me about the crying it out thang: 10-20 years from now will you regret the time you spent cuddling with your child? No. Will you regret letting them cry & making yourself feel crappy at the same time? Yes.
p.s. I’m not saying I never let my son cry, ’cause Lluvia’s right, you have to shower sometime, & my son does cry occasionally..cause I’d rather let him cry when I’m really frustrated than risk bodily harm to him.
Baby Wise. It works. I’m not going to lie, it takes a lot of work in the beginning and it takes cooperation from everyone in the baby’s life (grandparents, friends, sitters, etc.), but the payoff is amazing. Seriously.
The whole premise of it is that your child likes to know how their day will be played out, and Baby Wise teaches you to put your baby on a schedule staring at 6 weeks and stick to it. It really is amazing to see it work, it is like clock work. Baby is up at 6, eats, awake time until 7:00-7:15, down asleep (swaddled) until 9am, eats, awake until 10:15, downtime, awake at 12, eat, awake time/tummy time until 1:00-1:15, sleep until 4pm…you get the picture. By 8 weeks, I was able to skip the middle of the night feeding and he slept from 10-6. He knows when it’s awake time and he knows when he is supposed to be asleep.
I normally wouldn’t advocate something like this, but once I saw how well it worked with my Aunt’s 3 children, I was sold. My little guy is 13 weeks, and it is so nice to be able to plan my day around his sleep time.
Anyway, enough preaching. Gavin is gorgeous and you look amazing!
xoxo
P.S. my Aunt’s kids are age 7, 5, 3 and they all still take naps! They 3 year old takes one everyday from 12-3…amazing.
yep. Baby Wise. My son is 3 months old now and has been sleeping through the night since he was 5 weeks old. routine routine routine. It is really tough to keep it up when you are beyond exhausted, but it pays off.
One note about the book: it can be pretty rigid but the foundation for the book is golden.
Full feedings, eat-waketime-sleep cycle.
This book was recommended to me before our son was born and the kids of the friend who recommended it did awesome with this format, too (ages 5(twins) and 3)
im totally not a mother but i have some advice you may take or just delete considering im far (imo) away from child baring years.
all babies are different, some sleep 12 hours, some wake up every hour, others never cry and some never stop. no matter what category your baby fits into the one thing that stays the same is routine! you have to find a routine so you and your baby can find sanity. if you are stressed out and tired all day your baby will feel that and he will get stressed out. don’t let him control your habits now or they will stay this way until he can make a grilled cheese himself and drink milk from a cup instead of a nipple. since i really have no clue about babies, i dont know how often a newborn baby is suppose to eat but waking up every hour on the hour sounds insane.
also i’ve heard a lot when babies cry non stop you shouldn’t go to them every single time because they will learn that is the only way you exist is when they are screaming. if you let him cry out his issues every once in a while you will get some things done and he will learn to cope without you every millisecond of his tiny cute little life.
something that helped my mom calm my brother down was putting his play pen in the laundry room and doing a load. (that’s what he said?) i guess the sounds are comforting like your heart beat and breathing when he was chillin in that womb for so long.
I love that the pillow behind B says *ASS*
Beyond funny
DUDE, you are so skinny! You look fabulous! Also Gavin’s a handsome little bugger.
Swoon. I just checked out your blog, and have not in forever. Your baby boy is adorable!!! Love the photos too!! xxoo
I have no children, but I’m housetraining my dog. Does that count?
….As if I’d seriously ask that question. Sorry.
I’m also not a great cheerleader, but here goes: MODG, you are doing great! I don’t even know you in person, and I only see pics of you and your adorable baby, but you are doing SUPER! Just hang in there, eventually you’ll look around you and realize you totally have it under control, and to be frank, you had it all the time. You can do it!!!
Also, I don’t know if you realize, but you are bringing so much to so many people. Too many moms don’t bust out with this stuff, and it’s really making a difference to a lot of women (not just mothers, either)! You’re an inspiration, and we can see your sparkles even if you can’t.
P.S. I have a feeling there might be a surprise for you on Outblush.com if you check in a lil bit.
I know how you feel. I didn’t even have anyone to help me. It was me and her from the very beginning, and I wanted to cry every second. My best advice is despite being overwhelmed and scared that you aren’t doing it right, you are. There is no right answer when it comes to parenting. There are opinions. You have to trust. your. gut.
Let B help as much as he can and wants to. If you need a friend, call a friend. And take all the darn pictures you want because those made it all worth it in the end.
He’s adorable by the way, and you’re a beautiful new mommy as well. Don’t lose sight of that. Some days I still find it almost impossible to shower, being a single mom, which is I’m sure how you feel when B is at work. This is why there is dry shampoo and wet wipes. Hang in there. Your sparkle will return and be brighter than ever!
G is too cute!! gorgeous!
On an off note- how long did it take B to grow his hair that long? My hubs has come with the brilliant idea of growing his hair out- but we are just in that ackward stage- and he just has poofy hair- LOL!
My advice- routine- develop a routine. It seemed (for me at least) as soon as I started a routine that worked- then my son started going along with it too. It took a few weeks to figure out what worked best when- but then start doing it every day/ night- and that way eventually you will be able to work in cool stuff like food, baths, and even a little bit of sleep.
On that same note- go with the flow- and don’t stress if you get off the routine- LOL! so much fun!
It gets better!! You have to keep telling yourself that it is 8 weeks of HELL and then it slowly starts to improve. They have to break you down so when they smile at you, you think that you may be able to go on. All I did was cry and hold the baby and cry. I have a college education and am a reasonably intelligent calm person and I felt like a POW. The swings don’t work for some babies but try this tacky chair as it vibrates. http://tinyurl.com/29p9x7b It may not go with the motif but it works
omg the ass pillow literally made me LOL.
ok, G is adorabbblllleeee! I love the pic on the blue chair! fantastic.
ok my baby is crying so gott amake this fast- he will get over the dontputmedoen syndrome!! i swear. the first few weeks are the hardest!! you will be fine! and he will more than likely enjoy his swing in a few weeks. just keep trying. but i feel you, when i had my first, i literally paced for 9 hours day, holding him until hubs came home!
Ah, the sweet chaos of having a newborn. Just when you feel like you’ve got your shit together, it all goes to hell and the baby won’t stop crying and its 3pm and you haven’t brushed your teeth yet and you have been shooshing and swaying your baby in a $80 baby carrier for an hour, who proceeds to throw up on you and immediately fall asleep and you realize you might possibly have baby poop on your arm. Wow, that just took me to a very dark place.
My advice/thoughts/random ramblings, its going to get better, then worse, then better. Its just the cycle. The first 4-8 wks of my childs life were a personal hell. A lovely, cute, snuggly personal hell. You just have to take it one day, one hour, one meal, one shower… at a time. If you have friends that are willing to hold the baby use them. And if something didn’t work today, try it again tomorrow or next week. Those darn kids are pretty sneaky when it comes to that kind of stuff.
Oh and beer. and wine. Beer and wine always help.
My advice – follow rockstar G’s cues. Feed him when he’s hungry, not every two hour’s or whatever *they* say, let him sleep when he wants (don’t wake him to eat), definitely sleep while he’s sleeping DUH the dishes and junk can wait, all in all just listen to him. Mom’s can make themselves crazy by conforming to what the dr.’s or whoever thinks is best for baby. Your kid is super sparkle smart, he knows what he needs and wants, listen to him!
OK, that was weird for me because just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I know what’s best for the universe or you. I just know when I was a first time mom and crying one second and happy the next I was fuhreaked out, but that is normal and it gets better.
The pictures are adorbs!
I completely agree. Ditch the books and schedules and follow Gavin’s cues, especially if you are breastfeeding and plan to continue for awhile. Check out kellymom for breastfeeding advice. Also, I used babybix.com (kind of) just to track sleeping patterns. I thought there was no rhyme or reason to my newborns sleep patterns and once I started tracking her (not scheduling her, just tracking what she was doing naturally) it became apparent that she was forming a routine on her own. And, it will change. There will be growth spurts where your baby will cluster feed, teething will mess everything up. Then months will go by in which your precious baby sleeps through the night, every night until…. an ear infection
Keep up the good work MODG!!!
TOTALLY Agree on just following G’s cues – at least for the first few months if you’re nursing. Otherwise you start messing with mother nature and could possible have negative affects to your milk supply. Lots of GREAT info at kellymom.com. Bookmark it. Have B research and print things for you, whatever it takes.
And I third this. I’m due in April and I’m taking copious notes from your blog.
This is your life and your kid and the two of you have to find your rhythm. Dude seriously, it’s a RELATIONSHIP. I haven’t read through every single one of your posts so I don’t know if you talk about your marriage or anything but was it sunshine and roses from day one? If so, you suck. BUT, I’m guessing from what I’ve read of what and how you write that there were some very real, very NOT sunshine-y moments that probably had more to do with merging two distinct lives than the fact that y’all shouldn’t be together. And you two are adults! Baby G hasn’t even been in the outside world for a month! I mean you’re a super extra rockstar but how in the hell can you two know ANYTHING about each other in less than a month?
Get to know your kid. If he’s got don’tputmedown disease, don’t put him down. It sucks balls, but soon enough he won’t let you kiss him and your heart will break. Yeah, you haven’t shaved. That resonates particularly loudly with me because I’m one hairy bitch! I’m scared of what’s going to happen to my grooming once the baby comes but I promise it will be on the top three of priorities: 1. Keep the kid alive. 2. Keep myself alive. 3. Shave, wax, tweeze. Fuck a birth plan!
Very soon, you and your son will find your rhythm and you will wonder how you ever did it any other way. Keep ya head up girl!
Okay, eff you for being so skinny. You look great, even if you are constipated. And Benifiber works wonders for that, or so I hear
.
Hang in there. This is the hard shit that you’ve heard a lot about. This is the sucky time. But in a couple of months you will be a pro. He is still getting to know what the freak is going on and why his waterworld is gone. He is beautiful! I know everyone has said that, but really he is. Try try try to let go of the “perfect” idea of how things would be and just roll with it.
Welcome to Motherhood!
You are so not special ed in motherhood. Maybe slow…just kidding! It was super hard for me too. Give it until 3 months. Things should change then….
I totes agree with Teisha! Don’t worry dude, things will get better! And don’t be afraid to ask for help! I had friends and family that would pop in a couple times a week, during the day, and either help me with housework or hangout with the baby so I could shower/nap/poop. If you have reliable people around, use them! Trust me, it will make things a lot easier! You are doing great!
It will get better! 6 weeks! That’ the magic number. My son cried every evening for about 3 hours the first month or so. I thought I was going to lose it. But, it passed and things got much easier. Teething can be a bitch though.
And about the pictures, you will never stop putting pictures up of your baby. And you shouldn’t. My son is 15 months now and that’s all I talk about. Can’t help it. Just get a good camera.
Vibrating bouncy seat saved my life. If they had one for adults, I would have bought that too.
My daughter had colic, and I swear to Jesus that our vibrating bouncy seat saved my sanity. It was the only thing that I could put her in without her spazzing the F out. I buy all my friends one as baby shower gifts.
OK, if your labor drama made me a little scared to give birth, these pictures make me want to have my baby RIGHT NOW so I can have my own cuteness. The one of baby-burrito Gavin on the super-fab aqua chair made me want to squeeze my computer screen. He is precious!
We found out yesterday that we are having a boy (!!!) and I thought of you and all of the other girly moms I know of who are raising male children and staying glalmorous. I am looking to you for inspiration on bringing up a Metro Baby….
Hang in there!
“glamorous”…..
-gavin is so adorable.
-hang in there you’ll get the hang of it.
-you can poop & nurse at the same time. trust me. gavin my not like it. but hey. momma’s gotta poop
- i love when you post pictures of your house because you have amazeballs type furniture seriously. i want it.
LOL! YES, I agree-you SO CAN poop and nurse at the same time! hahhahaaa, hey ya gotta do what ya gotta do! I also would put my baby in a bouncy in the bathroom and take a tub bath so I could talk to her and watch her real good. that way i could shave every once in a while.
1. Gavin is ridiculously cute. I’m still getting used to “Gavin” rather than “Plankton.”
2. Your placenta post was awesome. I didn’t comment on it because I got tired of scrolling before I got to the bottom. I think you were great about the whole PPD thing because so many new moms are like, “YES I’m crying ALL THE TIME, and I kind of want to throw the baby out the window, but OMG depression is for crazy people! I don’t even have baby blues! I’m the mother of all mothers! PPD my ass!” I’m glad you did what you needed to do because taking care of yourself is part of being a good mommy. (I’m not a mom. But you can’t take care of other people if you’re not taken care of yourself. So poop, girl. It’s gotta happen.)
3. Placenta jerky. Bahahahahahaha. I loved it.
oh my lord, the pictures are too much cuteness!!! as another inexperienced new mom, i don’t have too much useful advice. i have so far discovered 1 thing that calm my 3 1/2 week daughter other than my boobs–holding her while bouncing (fairly vigorously) on my exercise yoga ball. For some reason this works so much better than rocking my arms or in a chair.
also, i don’t know if G is bothered by the dry winter air, but my baby’s starts to snort when she’s fussy and I’ve found that the saline drops for baby does help. although the process of spraying the saline drops was not fun for either of us!
good luck, it looks like you’re doing an amazing job!!
ps – what kind of camera do you use for your blog? just curious
ADORABLE pictures. You can post as many pictures or baby related posts as you want, I will continue to stalk your blog like I did pre-baby.
Note: if you use the vibrating Papasan chair do NOT do so directly after a feeding. It will end in a pukey mess…
Do you have a bouncy seat? My girls both hated the swing, but loved the bouncy seat. I am due with #3 in June and hope he / she loves the bouncy seat too. Another one of my FAVORITE things is lily padz. They are sticky pads for your breasts for nursing – so you can sleep without a bra on. That is, when you start to get some sleep. And it WILL get better, promise. Going from 0 to 1 child is life changing…you can THINK you know whats coming your way, but until you are actually experiencing it – you have no idea. 1 to 2 was easy as pie for me. I am hoping 2 to 3 is too. Big hugs to you – hang in there! And I also applaud you for being aware of you PPD. I was just a big pile when my oldest was born. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I wasn’t necessarily depressed, I was just overwhelmed. I didn’t figure it out until things had passed and I was better. I wish I had taken something to help me get through the PPD then – it would have made life easier! Sparkly hugs to you
You are doing GREAT! He’s gorgeous. You’re still gorgeous, too. The tiredness will pass. Eventually.
Advice… since you asked for it:
G is too young to “cry it out”. He’s a newborn, for cryin’ out loud. He went from your snuggly gushy warm womb to this cold cruel world. The sling is great for when your arms get tired.
My baby hated the swing at first too. But he loved the vibrating seat — just not on vibrate. As long as he could see me he was fine. Maybe that would work for G.
I took lots of baths with mine when he was super young. It did us both good. AND he never pooped or peed in the bath.
I also laid down with mine when I could so he could still feel my arms and I could rest. This may or may not work for you.
So far, G sounds a lot like my boy. Which is a wonderful thing, cuz mine is also gorgeous and wonderful (mostly). You can see for yourself if you click on my link.
I second the vibrating bouncy seat recommendation. My daughter spent the first few months of her life in it! I even took it in the bathroom while I took a shower. Gavin is beautiful (is that what you say about boys?), you look great–and things really do get better….any day now.
Beautiful pictures!
As a mom of 3 little boys, I know what you are going through! I highly recommend a Baby Bjorn carrier. That way, you can have your hands free to do other things….like blog! And when you need to take a shower, put him in a bouncy chair right in the bathroom with you. And if he cries, it’s okay, just put him in the other room!! SERIOUSLY, DO IT! Mommy’s need time outs too! And of course, nap when he naps. But the best thing I ever did was buy a breast pump. Buy an electric one, not one of those stupid manual ones. Then pump every once in a while. That way, G can get used to the bottle and daddy can enjoy feeding him too…and best of all, you can get a break from the tit sucking monster!
Amen! “moms need time outs too”!
I can seriously remember a time where i felt I was a millisecond away from reaching my breaking point. Cry cry cry and NOTHING would make her stop this one night. If I wouldn’t have put her in another room and walked away I would have been on CNN. no joke.
Don’t get yourself to that point! Learn to deal (not be okay, happy, ignore..) with his crying. If he cries but had been fed and you’ve checked his poop/pee holder. Kiss the cheek abd walk away. I don’t agree that you shouldn’t let a newborn cry. They develop habits from the get go. many many many many moms, including myself have kept our sanity by walking away. IMO. — and this is just my opinion so don’t attack me blog world — constant holding and being there before a cry erupts and wearing your baby is just too much!I know. It sounds bad. Maybe for some it’s okay. But for ME (were talking about me here) as a single mom who’s had to hold a full time job as well as a part time job at one point– I wasn’t cool with it. To keep my sanity I HAD TO LET MY CHILD CRY! How else do children develop coping mechanisms? Example: I cry. Mom comes, picks me up.. Wee. Puts me down. Wait. Waaaah. Mom comes picks me up weee. So that’s all I need to do. WAah come here slave! I promise I thought my child was a baby Stewie. Or I cry. Mom comes checks my diaper, no poo, tries to feed
me, nah I didnt want that. Oh wait she’s leaving. Waaah. Mom comes does the same song and dance and leaves. Hummm what’s this thing? My hand.. It looks fun, let me stick it in my mouth- weeee!
but all I know is what worked for me. What works for you will be different. Just make sure you’re not pushing yourself to the limit. Your a mom not a superhero (although one day Gavin will think you are!) take bits of everyones advice and experiences, try them out and see what combo works for you.
You might be okay with wearing Gavin and that’s okay! You might be okay with letting him cry, and that’s okay too. You will find even ground eventually.
I LOVE THE PICTURES!! My favorite was the one with you both, the baby, and Charlie!! What a beautiful family!! My advice and what worked wonders for my life is ROUTINE!!!!
Emma naps, eats, and goes to bed at the same time EVERYDAY!!!! My life is easier with a schedule! My family says I’m uptight or whatever, but I can’t be like my sister who has to small boys to who to bed whenever they feel like. Her home is chaos. Don’t get me wrong, she still thrives and is happy, but that shit is NOT for me! I learned the hard way I was not one of those moms.
I got the Happiest Baby on the Block book (I think that’s what it’s called; I don’t even know where it is right now), and that helped me a lot when Emma had crying fits.
With a routine set, I know more or less why she is crying when she is. I can tell you that it has made my life a lot easier and more predictable…because with a little one, everyday is something new!!!
My kid is 15 months old now and is not walking yet. Dr said she ‘s a little behind on the motor skills, but nothing to worry about; she’ll catch up. That was yesterday. Today, she climbed the bed–THE BED!!!! A baby, who can’t walk, climbed onto my BED!!!!!
And yes!! Take pictures!! Lots of them!! Before you know it, Gavin will get big, and you’re gonna find yourself looking at his baby pictures a LOT!!!
You are so NOT special ed with babies!! You are doing an awesome job and have some fabulous pictures to show for it
What amazing photos. You look fabulous and are creating some sort of false advertising in these pics! Seriously. G is a stunner. Duh.
I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t really need much more than pictures of sweet babystud G. Your words are great and all, but it’s babies. It’s good stuff.
I am seriously blown away. YOU LOOK AMAZING! Gavin is adorbs! I totally get it about not being able to put down the baby for anything, sister. My Isabel was the same way! All she smelled were tits all the time. My tits. Sigh. Keep on doing what you are doing-because your family is PRECIOUS!
“I’m like fairly normal with a college education and common sense. I need to get it together.”
I mean good God it’s like you took the words right outta my mouth…
Obviously my needing to get it together doesn’t have to do with a baby (Jesus that’s a scary thought), but I’m thinking “I’m like fairly normal with a college education and common sense. I need to get it together.” is going to be my new blog tagline. I’ve been thinking basically the exact same thing a LOT lately. And I have no partum anything to blame it on.
I can’t offer you any advice, but baby G is cute as hell and near as I can tell he’s alive, so as far as I’m concerned you’re doing a hell of a job momma.
Do you have one of those baby seats that vibrate? I swear to god both of my kids lived in theirs. And then when they got to be like 4 months, I’d make them eat the cereal food stuff in there. SO much effing easier than a high chair.. until they are like 10 months. Then it’s bit ridiculous.
…btw I saw someone recommended Baby Wise. I totally respect that recommendation, but please, do your research. I had a very needy baby, and we attempted Baby Wise and found out for certain that it wasn’t for us. I think every baby is different. Baby Wise tends to be very Black and White on alot of different aspects that may or may not stress you out like crazy. There are very specific “rules” with it and I found out quickly that Isabel was not playin it…at all. AND-she ended up being underweight and very sick at one point because the “strict” feeding schedule it recommends made her underfed. Imagine the horror. Screaming for hours to teach your baby that “you are the boss, not the baby.” Yikes! It doesn’t encourage soothing your baby with your boobs, even though that’s what human kind has been doing since the beginning of babies. The actual AUTHORS of the book go to my church..it’s a very touchy subject in our neighborhood to say the least. Anyhow, good luck with whatever you choose! xoxo
interesting…Babywise was recommended to me, but at the time (pre-baby) i only got one or two chapters in bc it started off so moralistic and way too high-minded for me. But maybe I will have to revisit this…MODG, if it works for you, please post about it!!!
Thank you for saying this, Demi. Babies are different. Some are better with strict schedules, some set their own, and some are happy with spontaneity. “… even though that’s what human kind has been doing since the beginning of babies.” Classic! Love it.
yeah I remember one night I was literally using a stop watch to count down my daughters scream fests before my next “baby wise scheduled feeding time”… I started to cry. On the floor. right next to my baby. It was then and there that I threw the book in the garbage and burned it the next day. The moment I breastfed my daughter through all that screaming… I felt SO GUILTY because she just wanted to be fed and comforted. She was only 6 weeks old! Poor thing. And right after that she fell right back to sleep. Even though she wanted to be fed an hour and a half later again-I never made her wait for it again. Today-she is almost 3, and she has the most amazing sleep habits. She’s not the best napper, but that’s ok. She sleeps over 12 hours a night and is the calmest, most happiest and trusting baby. MODG and anyone struggling whether to choose Babywise…..TRUST YOUR GUT. Baby’s don’t know what the heck to do when they are born except to cry. And if it’s your breast that soothe him/her-that’s beautiful. If you start Babywise and it isn’t for you-don’t feel guilty about stopping it and going by your own maternal instincts. If you do Babywise and it works for you-that’s all good too. Every baby is different and what works for some doesn’t work for others. Kellymom and breastfeeding.com are fabulous places of information and support. Hang in there MODG and any momma out there breastfeeding or bottlefeeding! You all rock! <3
Yeah, thanks for saying this. I’ve heard some perfectly awful things about Babywise and I was nervous when it was recommended and I was hoping someone would give a counterpoint. Do your research on this one – Babywise claims that babies cry because they’re trying to manipulate you! I’m like, how can a three-week old manipulate?!
Anyway, I’m a fan of do what works for you and for your kid. All other things equal, there’s not a lot you can do to mess up at this stage as long as they’re fed, dry and warm. Kiss them as much as you can, cuddle them every second and love on them huge amounts. There’s plenty of time to teach boundaries and rules – LATER.
You and B need the White Noise app on your iPhone/Pad – it is a LIFE.SAVER.
MODG.
I am a new first-time mom (5 month old) of a really mellow guy. I don’t know why I got so lucky. I read The Baby Whisperer and it works pretty well. She is a little corny and annoying at times but it really worked well for us (and continues to do so…) Take a shower every day. Take it in the morning. Let the boy cry. I felt bad at first but seriously once you feel better the baby will too. It sounds weird but try to be one step ahead of the booger. Anticipate feeding times, poops, explosions, and you will feel ahead of the game. Time freaking flies and just try to enjoy it. These may help: Bouncy seat. Just a cheap one. Bjorn. Sleeping tummy side down. I know I know. I tried naps at first and he loved so what was I supposed to do? My boy was large and he wouldn’t stay swaddled for very long so his arms would fling out and scare him awake. Tummy sleep prevents the arm failings. Ok, its weird to give advice to someone I don’t know but I think you are totally hilarious and I hope this in some way helps you enjoy this time. Really- it will be over before you know it!
You guys look great! I have to agree that a routine is a life saver. It probably won’t seem like much now, while he is so tiny, but it’s great to get started. It will be a life saver in a few weeks. The thing that helped me get through when things were difficult: Remember that for the next year, (at least), the kids change a lot all the time. If something is really hard right now, know things will probably be completely different in a few weeks. My son had colic from about 4 weeks to maybe 12 or so (I don’t remember exactly)…It was very hard, but I kept remembering that colic usually only lasts for the first few months. Take it one day at a time and know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hold him tight and give him lots of kisses! Good news is, if you are holding him a lot now, they say he will be less likely to have colic.
Now my son is 2 and sooooo much fun!
Ohmygod these are beautiful and your hair is super gorgeous and pretty (not greasy at all) and I’m just so super jealous of how adorable G is!
My son is a few weeks younger than yours, Jackson was born Dec 21-so I’m not an experienced mom, like many women offering advice- but I highly recomend the book Baby411. It was given to me by a friend, and it is wonderful! It has info on everything, and explains things in ways that special ed moms like you and I can understand.
The pics of Gavin are wonderful, and you look amazing too! I can still see your super toilet standing, skull vodka swilling sparkle.
You’ll survive! You can do it!
hang in there! i promise it gets better. our little sweetie didn’t love the swing at first either, but every day i’d just keep trying to put her in it and then one day she fell in love. now she is happy as a clam in it and i can do things like drink water, take a shower or eat a meal without holding the babes. also – every baby is different, just do what feels right for you and baby g. i went in to motherhood believing i’d do “babywise” and keep a tight schedule and we have a baby that just doesn’t roll with that. be gentle with yourself! you’re an amazing mommy! i agree though about the white noise app on your iphone – it has SAVED us many a time!
Okay…first when I saw the ASS pillow, I totally remembered the other said BAD and laughed. Hilarious.
Now, it does get better. For real. Do the swaddle. And, do it tight.
And, I know it’s not fun, but as our doctor told us, “no baby ever died from crying.” So, take time for yourself, even if it’s a poop in private.
PS Our kids didn’t like the swing right away, either…and they liked being in the swaddle in the swing. And, the bouncy seat was a huge hit.
That baby of yours is just so beautiful he makes me want another right now!
This stage will pass before you know it. Eventually not sleeping will feel like normal and just when it does, he’ll start sleeping through the night! I never thought I would love 5:30 am until the first time he slept for 8 hours. You’ll get there. Promise.
I can’t recommend The Happiest Baby on the Block more and they make a DVD so you can watch it while you’re nursing. When you’re ready for it, The No Cry Sleep Solution is great too.
Definitely do your book research though, Baby Wise has a really bad rap. Scary stuff.
Oh, and you can definitely poop while nursing. Just wait till he’s walking and insists on keeping you company while you’re in there.
Didn’t go through all of your comments, but I was just told about a book called Goodnight Sleep Tight by Kim West, she calls herself the Sleep Lady. I’ve been using it for 2 days on my 5 week old and it’s already helping. Amazing book. It might help with “dontputmedowndisease”
I wish they had this thing: http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22
when my little stinker was a newborn (he hated being put down too) – I heard it works wonders! It’s snuggly (sp?) and slightly inclined. Seems totally worth the $39!
Best of luck…I know everyone says it, but it SERIOUSLY gets better!
WORD! this things is amazeballs! We have 2 of them. My daughter is 6 weeks old and when she started going batshitcrazy everytime we laid her in her bassinet, we put her in this and she started sleeping 6-7 sometimes 8 hour stretches at night. Its pretty much an awesome hammock….wish it came in my size.
This is like my 10th comment (sorry ’bout that) but I wanted to say that we have this Fischer Price rock-n-play sleeper, and for A’s first month or so, it was all she slept in (she sleeps belly down now). It’s a great product and it’s cheap! I still use it now for things like cooking or working in my office (she can be inclined enough to see stuff, a d I can rock the thing with my foot. Also, if she gets excited or wiggled, it rocks itself!
This is like my 10th comment (sorry ’bout that) but I wanted to say that we have this Fischer Price rock-n-play sleeper, and for A’s first month or so, it was all she slept in (she sleeps belly down now). It’s a great product and it’s cheap! I still use it now for things like cooking or working in my office (she can be inclined enough to see stuff, and I can rock the thing with my foot. Also, if she gets excited or wiggled, it rocks itself!
Get real, MODG, you will NEVER lose your sparkle. You are like, the most sparkliest mom of all.
I think my two favorite photos are the one of you, B, & G in your awesome library & G on his super awesome MODG colored chair. He’s so tiny! I love babies!
REMEMBER, Kate whatshername had, like, 72 friends, neighbors and relatives helping her with the six little Asians, so she rarely had to deal with marathon chin-trembling wailing. And Friday comes four days after Monday every week, so B can take the duty from Friday at 6 til Sunday at midnight. Just have the nipple ready for a 20-minute gig every couple of hours; the rest of the time, you can shower, read, EAT, mani-pedi…whatever. You’re doing just fine. And he’s sooo worth it.
“Maybe one day I’ll be able to write a real post that doesn’t revolve around me copping out with pictures of my baby.”
My kids are 3 and 10 and I still haven’t figured out how to do this.
You will be totally ok and you are so not Special Ed when it comes to babies. You will be skinny and fabulous and then write a book called “How MODG Got Her Sparkle Back”. I think it will be a movie and Kyra Sedgwick and Chloe Sevigny better play me.
So glad to read this post! Today was my husband’s first day back to work too and I’m home with our three week old son. He also wouldn’t let me put him down ALL DAY. I held my pee for like three hours and still have curdled breastmilk vomit (grossest smell ever) crusted on my face since this morning. Then I finally got him to actually nap at 5:20pm and my husband pranced in at 5:30 and saw him sleeping soundly and was all like “I don’t see why this is so hard…” How did I get him to sleep you ask? I found a secret combination of racing around our house with him in the stroller, while swaddled, with a pacifier, while blasting Mozart, for ninety minutes straight.
Knowing that you’re probably equally deranged and sleep-deprived makes me feel better though!!
Oh MODG! It IS hard. My son is now 4 years old and right now I am staring at him trying to pretend I’m just babysitting and his mom will be here very soon. When he came home from the hospital, he was swaddled tighter than a burrito, binky firmly in mouth and he was in his baby swing and was content. I cannot recommend swadling and swinging enough! Happiest Baby on the Block:DO check it out. That being said, It was hard for me to bond with my son, and I still worry it was because I had to have a C-section instead of a vag delivery. I can’t look back now, but I still wonder. For me, it was a very hard adjusment going from baby free to being consumed with and by a baby. I tried so hard to nurse, but he refused. Reading your blog, my kid’s newborn days seem just like yesterday. But it will get easier. I promise. Just make sure you do have help, and please please please do take time for YOU. Even if this means pumping so B can feed G while you to to Target, or somewhere just get out and walk for a couple of hours. PLEASE NEVER EVER lose sight of who YOU are. You will never lose your sparkle, either. Because I can still see it in those pictures. Your son is gorgeous. And so are you.
Ok… Don’t panic… Ur doing fine…. Just so u know tho… Babies r smart little manipulative buttheads…. “if I make this horrible screeching noise mommy will hold me close to the boobies with milk and I can smell her and the milk!!!!” if u let him cry a little he will stop…. U have to let him realize mommy is not a chump dude…. I know ur game now…. There’s a process to it but I had my first born sleeping through the night and eating on a more regular schedule at 2 months old. If you’d like to email me I’d be happy to fill u in. I wish u luck with baby G. He’s beautiful! U’ll be ok soon I promise.
I have a 7 month old girlie-pie and this is what worked for us (I just realized that’s in the past tense. See? Soon it will be over and you’ll be wondering where that wrinkly baby you brought home from the hospital is.):
White noise! All the time. And get a machine with the option to use batteries or use an app for when the power goes out. Want to guess how we learned that one?
Put him on his stomach to sleep. I know, it’s scary business, but I’m guessing he’s still sleeping on the coffe table or wherever, so you can watch him or check him frequently.
Try a Moby. I love my ring sling now that Baby Girl is bigger but she loved the Moby and went to sleep every time I put her in it when she was brand new. The wrapping looks tricky, but there are several great videos on YouTube to learn how to do it. I watched one about 40 times in a row and bam, I got it.
Put him down. I’m not so much suggesting you let him “cry it out” as much as thinking maybe he might get overstimulated. I’m sure you already know, little babies nervous systems aren’t developed yet and sometimes they get touched out.
Also, I know this is Big Time Controversial, but we did/do Babywise. It works for us, and that’s what’s important. I totally respect other approaches to parenting. I go by most of the guidelines while remembering I’M the parent to MY baby and I know her the absolute best. Some things we didn’t do, most we did, and here’s what’s important, I take each day at a time. Our babies aren’t robots, and while I believe they do like routine, some days they need more sleep, extra calories, or whatever. Last thing- we started late with Babywise. Like maybe around 5 weeks? She didn’t sleep through the night until 15 weeks, late by BW standards, but perfect for us. That’s when I moved her to her room and now she sleeps from 6:30 pm to 7 am (I nurse her at 10). So you’re getting there! You’re doing it! He’s beautiful and you are doing great, I mean it.
So adorable!! Love that picture of him in his nursery chair- seriously made my uterus start to throb, now I want another baby- You guys have a beautiful family, you look so good!
Have you tried a Moby wrap? They’re pretty sweet and my babies who are no fools and only love my arms and no surface think they’re pretty sweet. You can carry your baby 4 million different ways. And the babies are secured in there, unlike a sling where you tried to pick something off the floor and oops there goes the baby too.
He’s the most beautiful baby ever. You’re sparkle and glitter have been transferred to that very tiny human.
My son also had dontputmedown disease. All i can say is the sling is a lifesaver (i also had the moby wrap), and eventually he’ll let you put him down (once my son was interested in things like his activity mat, he’d be cool on his own for a few minutes. He also hated the swing, and bouncy chair.) He still likes to be held a lot when he’s tired, or cranky, but now i savour those moments (he’s almost a year, and is all over the place!)
I second the comment about the water sling, you could also put him in the vibraty/bouncy chair if he likes it, and bring it in the bathroom.( I was only able to shower at night when my husband got home)
So friend of a friend advice, from my girlfriend with the world’s most angelic TWIN babies — they sleep, they eat, they smile. She swears by the Happiest Baby on the Block book, which is quickly summarized at this website: http://www.colichelp.com/shop/happiestbabyontheblock.html.
And my non-mom two cents: anything worth having takes hard work. So keep it up, and don’t forget to congratulate yourself for achieving small milestones along the way. Like posting all those pictures. And having an immaculate house. And surviving two days of being alone with a newborn. And for touching the lives of the 81 people who commented about this posting (in less than 6 hours!), and the countless others who read but didn’t bother to comment. You should feel very accomplished.
What a super awesome and 100% accurate thing to say!
I stay at home & mine is in school I have nothing to do all day and my house still doesn’t look like hers! Nor does my body, hair, makeup… Wow.
Lookin good and doing great Amanda!
Love the pics. I have a 12 month old girl. I would have all of my walls covered in her baby pictures if it didn’t look totally weird.. I too ended up with a c section not the most fun. My mom kept saying to me this is temporary whatever was a difficult time. That became my mantra. I loved the moby wrap from target. It allowed me to have my hands free and she was wrapped on me and it didn’t hurt my back.
No one knows what they are doing w their first kid, u just get better at coming up w random things to make you, baby, & hubs happy. It is hard. But the smile you get makes it all worth it (#1 did it for me @ 5 weeks- & I fell in love hard for him after that!). Some kids will cry, some don’t – but I say that no kid would be upset at you aiming for some clean & eat time so you can serve the lil guy better. Both of those things make my day awesome and more smooth. I’m pregs w kid #4 and when it pops out via c-section (sigh) my oldest will be 4.5 years old. If that’s not crazy- I don’t know what is (ps this is it- no 23 kids for us!!).
& your pictures make me love the baby baby moment of life!!!! & u look FAB!
Mamma MODG,
I’m drinking for two. One glass of wine for me and one for you. But mostly a few more for me. Anyway, your baby is beautifully healthy. You can always wash your hair another day.
I’ve read your blog for a couple year but never commented before. Now I just cant help myself after reading your last couple of posts. I totally know how you feel, girl. Take one day at a time. I know it seems like your life is completely different but my best advise is to focus on the things you can control and completely let go of the things you cant (lack of sleep, cranky babies, etc). If Gavin wants to hang onto you all day, GREAT! Turn it into something fun for you too. Veg out with him all day in bed and watch a marathon. When you get to the point when you just cant take it anymore….DONT take it anymore. Your sanity matters too. put that baby down in his crib, let him scream and grab yourself a shower. It wont hurt him a bit and it will do wonders for you.
Good luck! Im sure you’re a kick ass woman even without the makeup, sleep and sanity.
Yo, so I only recently found your blog and am not generally much of a comment person, but every new mom needs some love. I didn’t have the patience to read the comments from your bajillion other fans so sorry if you’re getting repeat advice.
#1 shower at night when B is home. It’s just less stressful that way. Then you can ” maybe” enjoy it just a little bit.
#2 invest in either the moby wrap or the baby k’tan. They are effectively the same but the baby k’tan won’t make you feel like you’re trying to hang yourself while you get tangled up in it while trying to put it on under the pressure of a screaming baby. They are soft, like clothes, no buckles etc. Wear G in the k’tan all the time. You can put him in there vertical, not cradle like against your chest where he can hear your heartbeat like in the womb( just tuck his legs under him don’t get crazy trying to split them or anything) you can also wear just a nursing tank underneath so it’s kind of skin to skin and soothing and then wear a sweater or hoodie over so you don’t freeze. The you can pee/poop while wearing him, cook/ eat while wearing him, nap slightly reclined in a chair while wearing him, shop online/blog (ha) while wearing him, whine about how crazy this all is to your girlfriends on the phone while wearing him. Seriously, just wear him. He was attached to you for nine months – cut him some slack on being upset about being alone or not held. He is a BABY. You seriously cannot spoil him at this age. He will like it and you can function.
#3 if you don’t already have one, get a my brest friend. It’s like strapping on a nursing shelf. Has pockets to boot. You know for your cell phone and maybe some snack food or a notepad if your writing his feeding times down. Anyways- infinitely helpful if you need a freehand while nursing or god forbid have to stand or something. He’s small enough it’s no prop.
Ok, sorry. I’m tired of typing with a touchpad. If you want/need more just say the word. Otherwise, looks like you got help up the wazoo. Congrats. Beautiful pics. And I promise, one day you will just wake up and this will all be behind you…
Aww, you’re baby is perfect!
Just a question? Could he possibly have reflux? My son was like this & he had terrible reflux..made my life hell! Once we got him on some meds things got a bit better..but his sleep habits were totally affected by it ’cause he related being laid down flat to being in pain..ugh.
you WILL sleep again! One day you will wake up, totally refreshed, and you will say to yourself HOLY CRAP, THE BOY CHILD SLEPT ALL FREAKING NIGHT!!! it will possibly be one of the highlights of your life.
I say this as the mother of an 11 year old girl who STILL rarely sleeps through the night (I’m just too tired to care), and an 8 year old boy who loves his mommy and therefore sleeps like a little friggin log and eats everything put in front of him.
and can I just say that recent pics of those children made me realize that some demon has come into my home and replaced my babies with actual CHILDREN. Take those sleepless nights now!
Baby G still thinks you are an adult! Enjoy it! 
loves loves loves!!!
~J
Babywise changed my life. I didn`t start it until my son was around 6 months old, and even then I made some revisions based on my preferences and beliefs… but the main thing that I got from it was ROUTINE. Even at this young age, it seems to help to have some sort on continuity in a wee one`s life. People can get sticks up there rears just at the mere mention on Babywise, but I am pretty sure it wasn`t developed by the devil…
I remember when my son was just a handful of weeks old I had to shift my perspectives and expectations for myself. I had to be OK with the days that I did nothing but nurse, eat, sleep and stare at my kid or the TV all day long. I had images of being this active, on-the-ball mother and totally set that as the bar and standard, but I had to remember that down days were just fine. Seriously, sometimes the days where I did nothing but sit on the couch and hold my kid (the entire day, I kid you not) ended up being my fondest memories of his infancy. Because he needed it. He wanted to be held… and that`s fine, who am I to try and change his mind about that!
Anyway, it sounds like you are doing a great job with him, and just look at all those rolls he`s sporting already! Top sign that you are doing a great job as a Mother!
I’d say read as few books as possible, nurse as much as possible, and get a fantastic sling (I’m a huge babyhawk and moby fan). Babies just need you, all the time at first, and gradually less and less. Remember that he is figuring out this whole “being on the outside” thing just like you are figuring out the “being a Mom” thing. Give him, and yourself, a lot of leeway! Get out of the house when you can ~ changing up the scenery will help all of you! Have friends or family over but DON’T entertain them ~ give them free range of the fridge, toss em the baby, and take a long, hot shower. BMH has an AWESOME nursing mothers group once a week, that is where I met some women just 16 days after my first child’s birth who have become some of my best friends. It was amazing support to me in those first weeks of transitioning to being a SAHM and a new parent.
Remember ~ he can’t manipulate. His needs are real to him. Your needs are real too! Hang in there. You are doing great! This will all be second nature in no time, I pinky swear.
When my son was born, one of the more important things I learned to do was shower with him. I’d hold him in one arm (and get a good grip on his leg) and wash and rinse one whole side of my body, then move him over to the other side and repeat. He LOVED the shower and I was able to get clean. Win-win. With my second child, I realized that I could fit her little tub in the bottom of the shower and still have a little room for myself, so she could get a bath while I showered. That way I get clean, AND she stays happy!
Good luck momma! It’s not easy but it’s SOOOO worth it!
Yes! I started showering with the baby starting when he was 5 weeks old. We both loved it. It helps to have a spotter in the beginning though, just in case.
Have you seen this? http://www.woombie.com/ We swaddled our son until he was 5 months old, he loved it!
I’m a big time lurker, but I decided to come out of hiding to suggest a chair for G.
I’m not a Mummy, but my very good friend just became one (actually, I think her baby and G have the same bday). She swears by the vibrating bouncy chair. Her baby loves it so much, that she ended up buying two. Her baby also only wants to be held, but when she gets into that chair, she calms right down.
Here is the one she has (http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Ocean-Wonders-Aquarium-Bouncer/dp/B000324Y7U), just take the attachment off, since G won’t be able to see the hanging toys, and they just get in the way.
Good luck!
/back to Lurkdom Land
As a Mom, Nurse and aunt of 26 little kids~~My little piece of advice is to invest in a swaddle. Some baby’s like to be wrapped nice and tight. They have been in a tight place for a few months and got used to it and now all of the sudden they are out in this big open place and don’t feel the comfort of a confined place. This is often why some baby’s like to be held. You have a beautiful family, make sure you take time for yourself!! Good luck!!
Ok so I’m not a mom, so to be honest I’m not understand the baby blues thing or the up all night thing….I have however been a college student so just imagine Gavin is that drunk girl from your dorm who is up all night drunk and crying about her boyfriend….you’ve been prepared lol…But on a more serious note, I think you are the tits and impressed by your honesty and love for us. Trust me when I say you don’t suck. Just have fun and enjoy staring at him and concentrate on just being positive and getting through the day. Love from the ‘nati.
Oh and you and B have the same awesome Eddie Munster hairline…and I mean that most definitely as a compliment, as I love anything Munsters
I am not a prophet. I am just a single mother who somehow got herself through her childs infancy without the need of a Straight jacket and a mental institution. Pre-thought of having a seed implanted into my lyons I majored in early childhood education (and business and criminal justice and Education administration… You get the point, I’m 1/2 ass smart!) Here is my advice, which to some may be ghastly. Take it for what it’s worth
Put that baby DOWN! It is OKAY for him to cry. Infants develop attachment by having their basic– BASIC needs met. If he is not soiled or hungry leave him sit. He will learn that a cry is a signal for distress and not a way to say “hey woman forgo that turd that’s in your ass and hold me for no reason at all” Crying helps him exercise his lungs so that he can play the sax or trombone in high school. You don’t want to possibly ruin the future Gavin Spears, do you? Trust me. I’ve left my life sucker cry for hours on end and she seems pretty normal and okay with it now.
Take care of yourself! Shower girlfriend and pee in the toilet rather than that jumbo sized maxi pad. If you’re not a happy YOU how can you be a happy mommy? Yes our kids needs shouldcomebeforeourownblablabla… Whatever. If you have to shit, shower or whatever and are slightly aggravated by the fact that you can’t because Baby G wants nipple, that feeding isn’t going to be as relaxing or bond-a-riffic as it should be. These babies are telepathic or something– they pick up and sense your
distress and they become distressed. Trust me. I’ve taken care of myself and let my daughter wig out in her bouncer while I took a super long relaxing shower and she seems pretty normal and okay with it now.
Make Gavin get on YOUR schedule. Were not on baby time here. The sooner you get a schedule in place the faster your life will feel kinda sorta normal again. Shower at the same time every day, have 15 minutes of mommy time breaks at the same time everyday, throughout the day and Gavin will eventually learn that the nipple is going away and there is nothing he can do about it. Trust me — you know normal and okay with it now kid.
Don’t use your nipple as a pacifier! If it’s not feeding time the. Don’t put in his mouth. One day I accompanied a friend to her friends house. I had never seen this girl before. Here we sit at her kitchen table as her 3 year old played on the floor beside us. Out of the blue this child walked up to her mother, lifted her shirt, pulled up her bra, and took a swig. Now I looked around and there in the edge of the table sat a sippy cup. Yes ladies and gentlemen…. This woman was okay with having her tests pulled on for 3+ years at the convenience of her child. Don’t do it Amanda.
In summary let him cry and take care of his and your basic needs. Trust me… I did and I have a normal, independent, damn near self suffice t 5 year old daughter.
But like I said, I’m no prophet.
Ugh! Please excuse the grammar and spelling… My iPhone sucks!
Since I am a photographer, it’s my thinking that pictures are way more important than things like sleep and showering. It is super hard, honey. Your life has been turned upside down by a hungry little hippo. But so is G’s. Just think how warm and cozy he was in your belly. So, my suggestion is to go crawl in the bed with him and snuggle and watch crappy tv and nap. When he is hungry feed him. When B gets home, then you can shower and put on clean clothes. Tell B to get supper and clean the kitchen and if you trust him enough with laundry, tell him to put a load in.
You’ll find your new normal and it’s my rule that as long as you are still bleeding from giving birth, then you get a pass at other things like cooking and cleaning.
I’m due in May and my advice is worthless, so don’t listen to me. But I noticed that some people above recommended the Happiest Baby on the Block. My husband and I rented the DVD from Netflix and finally watched it last night. That guy is effing Houdini with the babies. If even 25% of it isn’t bullshit, then it’s worth a watch. Good luck!
hey hey sparkle lady….you’ll never lose your sparkle.
I’m waiting for the first photos where Gavin is standing on your loo seat with you to show off your outfits…. pleeease.
My son is two and it’s sooo much more fun now! The baby thing feels like it will never end but it will. I promise. then you get to teach him funny things to say to people and go jumping in puddles-
This is like how you described the sleep thing- you just don’t know until it happens to you but from someone who is past that stage— it ends! they eat real food and your boobs go back to being your own and it gets easier.
You’re doing an amazing job and you’re telling the truth. If more people did that then more new mums would realise that it’s normal to be exhausted and feel unsparkly and not feel like they’re failing cos they think it’s supposed to be all cuteness, cuteness, cuteness all the time.
Also…. in the UK you can get some amazing lactose syrup stuff that they give new mums for constipation. Might have to check that out/??
keep going. x x
“Happiest Baby On The Block” Get it! Seriously!
so you ask for advice, ,everyone will give it…..just pick and choose what you feel good about doing. normal for you right now is whatever works! ok, so i wish someone had told me……if you are constipated you MUST fix that however you can or else the horrible H words will rear their ugly heads again! i thought they had gone away after a couple of months and then had to change my diet since my guy doesnt like it if i eat dairy and soy so i got constipated again and guess what……uh oh! BEWARE! this being a mom thing is no joke the hardest thing i have ever done and sometimes i still feel like i am the only idiot who cant figure it out…….so thanks for posting!
Do you think maybe baby G is screaming so much because really he’s all, “WHY in the WORLD would you use so much teal in my room?!?!”
Just a thought. I, personally, love it.
I’m cracking up because you are bringing back some very blurry memories of my maternity leave! I had 12 weeks off with my son, but the first 6 weeks were a total blur of spit-up, poop, crying (him), more crying (me), cabin fever, and sleep deprivation. You’re in pure survival mode, and no one can prepare you for that.
I’m sure this has been said before, but our vibrating bouncer worked wonders at keeping our son asleep. The swing was a bust those first few weeks, but the bouncer–worth its weight in gold. I’d drag that bouncer into the bathroom when I thought I could squeeze in a quick shower. I stockpiled batteries to keep that thing running. I could not have survived without it.
I had a long labor, high fever, failure to progress, and ended up having a c-section. When my husband went back to work, it was for a 24-hour shift. I ugly-cried like I was at a funeral when he left that morning. You wonder how you’ll make it through the day, but you do. The cliches are true; it gets easier. Your son is adorable. Congrats to you.
Hey there
I’m one of thoes “don’t have any kids…but” I do have a close friend that had her first earlier this year. For the crying thing she used to “hold him like a football” like with your arm bent in front of you and his head in your hand and legs split over your elbow and she would say “ssshhhhhhhhh” kind of loud and swing him a little. Worked like a charm. Maybe it’s the white noise thing…no expert. I think her doula told her that trick. GOOD LUCK!!
Jenn, she was using a method from the book of Dr. Harvey Karp ” The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer.” And, yes, “the shhhh” sound is sort of white noise. Apparently it is very very loud in the mother’s womb and babies freak out when they don’t hear noises they got used to during the 9 months.
Amanda, hire a baby-sitter. I did not do it. That is why I have almost lost my sanity. Hire a sitter for at least 2 hours, may be not every day but at least 3 times a week. Sleep and shower. You will get it together fast. You can do it!
Seriously, stop being so fucking fantastic already.
The Bad Ass pillows made my morning. So, honestly, it has been almost eight years and I still get hives when someone mentions the first month at home with baby. Seriously, I had always thought of myself as someone who had their stuff together, and had NO CLUE how hard it would be. It is hard for all of us, seriously, the first several weeks are like landing on another planet — one with exploding poop, Gitmo amounts of sleep, and leaky size-QQ boobs. There is a reason guys don’t do it. Be gentle with yourself and soon you’ll be in AP baby classes. Or at least moved up to remedial …. it does get better, and that first full night of sleep (soon!) will be so glorious you’ll swear you went to heaven. Gavin is gorgeous, BTW, and you look fabulous, as always.
PS My friends with newborns swear that sitting on a yoga ball and bouncing up and down works to soothe. Also, vague three am memory from @ 8 yrs ago, rap music on Yo! MTV Rap channel. Am not even joking. Something about the beat worked to soothe my non-sleeping monster. He listened to more Dr. Dre during the first few months than I care to admit.
I have a nearly 6-month old boy, so I TOTALLY identify with you. I graduated law school in May, took the bar in July, and gave birth a week later–all difficult, but those six weeks after the baby was born was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and gave me a new respect for all the mothers out there! My mother did this thing that I called the “emergency hold” when my son just would not stop crying–holding him with your left arm underneath his armpits with his bottom on your left hip, and him facing out (does that make sense); then you just rock your hips side to side. Looked kinda uncomfortable, but he seemed to like it. But really every baby is different and you have to find what works for Baby G.
P.S. He is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute. And you look A-mazing!
Beautiful pictures!!!!
This is what I had to do to get my sleep. Yes, I felt guilty, but there is only so much we can do, and B does need to bond with him, too.
I remember I begged my husband to not go back to work when our daughter was born. I was terrified of being left alone with her because she hated the bouncy and swing, too, so I never got a break. I am not going to say it gets easier, because it doesn’t. I hated, HATED when people would say that to me. Sure, they start to eat less frequently and sleep a little longer, but just when you think you’ve mastered them, they throw a curveball at you and you want to pull your hair out and scream. BUT, there are things you can do to prepare yourself for the curveballs. Go and get the No Cry Sleep Solutions by Elizabeth ???? (don’t recall her last name). It is important you read this soon so you can understand a baby’s sleep cycle and so you can “train” your baby to sleep through the night. She is very much against letting a baby cry it out, so I loved this book.
Have you gotten a pump? If you don’t plan to formula feed, I suggest you go and get one so you can start storing breastmilk. This will give you some freedom when you want to go out by yourself (without the baby) and it prepares you for when you go back to work. It will not confuse him if he gets one bottle a day of breastmilk either. So, have B feed him at 4am since he’s already up reading
And lastly, don’t be afraid to use a pacifier. Sometimes we think they’re hungry, when all they really need is something to soothe them.
Duh, it’s so hard that sometimes it’s completely, 100% unfun. But most moms will never admit to it. My twins (TWINS!) are 8 months old now and were sleeping for 7 hours a night by 10 weeks. Now they’re up to 12 (7a-7p). Before you hire a hit man to take me out, let me assure you that I’m not trying to shove your fragile, sleep deprived brain to the edge of sanity and reason…I’m telling you this to show you a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. It gets easier. And it even gets fun. Promise.
I had PPD so badly that I can’t even bring myself to stir up the memories. But unlike those “perfect” moms who never had morning sickness/never drank caffeine/never had anything other than a fairytale princess pregnancy, I’ll tell you the truth. They totally aren’t perfect either, babe. And moreover, they’re total liars.
My advice? “Baby 411″ and The Miracle Blanket. Both on Amazon, both under $25. You’ll thank me later.
You’re doing just fine, mama! And Gavin is A-dorable.
I’ve read your website for a long time but I’ve never commented. Congratulations on your baby! He is adorable and your family is precious. I have a six year old and her birth was FAR from ideal or what I thought it would be. I wasn’t planning on natural and never considered a doula or midwife but I did have the idea of pushing her out and having her put on my chest. Needless to say 7 months into the pregnancy her father decided he wasn’t having “fun” so I ended up having to move out and start over… 7 months pregnant. Fun times. The last month of my pregnancy I developed pre-eclamsia and gained about 80 lbs in 4 weeks… again, fun times. I ended up being induced at 35 weeks and due to my deteriorating health I ended up having a c-section. I was lucky my family really pulled together and helped me out and supported me. I surprisingly didn’t have horrible post partum depression. I certainly had mood swings but no severe sads. But I also had to leave my daughter in the NICU after I was discharged from the hospital and I wasn’t able to see/hold/touch her for the first 4 days of her life so I was so grateful to even be able to see her that might have been the reason. I breast fed for 8 months… it was hard. The first time I tried they told me she wouldn’t latch on… but she did and it was so painful I screamed bloody murder while the nurses, doctor and lactation consultant laughed their asses off. I wish I had some magic advice for you but all I can tell you is it gets easier. Take all the help that’s offered, rest when you can, and try to enjoy the little private moments you have. Just take it day by day. Some days are easy and some are hard but that’s how I got through the days where I was frustrated by doing it alone, by feeling like a cow (literally – especially when I pumped). The next thing you know he will be a year, then two , then three and all of the sudden you are sending your “baby” to school and it’s hard to realize where the time went. Good luck. It seems like you have a very loving husband and family and that will help in the long run more than anything else.
Okay – here is the deal. Get someone to take you out to lunch and order quesidillas. They are yummy and you can eat them one-handed while breastfeeding.
For real.
Plus the noisier the restaurant or other place you go…the more the baby sleeps. Like white noise or something like that.
Gavin is adorable.
The best advice anyone ever gave me:
1. Swaddle, Swaddle, Swaddle
2. Watch “The Happiest Baby on the Block”
3. No baby has ever died from crying. So take 5 minutes to shower, eat, poop, whatever you need to do to make you feel like you!
My baby suffered from the “don’t put me down” disease as well. Routine helped and also over the counter Mylcon drops to relieve their little gas bubbles causing them pain in their tummies. The first 3 months for me were the hardest, after that… everything just kind of seems to fall into place.
Congrats! He’s so adorable.
Those pictures are super-sparkle-tastic! And so are you, btw. Even if you can’t see it, we can. Love the family photo of you guys and Charlie! Don’t let G cry for too long… He’s telling you he wants some lovin’ and the constant need for holding will go away soon enough. Often, no seat, swing, or other contraption will do as a substitute for mommy’s or daddy’s arms. It’s hard, but it doesn’t last forever. Get help from any friend, family, neighbor, hobo passing on the street (just kidding) you can. Try bundling him up and going for a walk with the stroller if the weather’s nice. Sometimes a simple change of scenery and some fresh air can do wonders for both you and Baby. Most importantly, trust your rockstar instincts; only you can know for sure what works best for your baby and what he needs. You look skinny, and beautiful, and totally non-greasy. You’re doing a great job modg! And don’t worry; it’s winter and no one will see those hairy armpits.
Surprise, granted: http://www.outblush.com/women/life/kids-baby/essential-10-new-mommy-musthaves/
You’re doing just fine. It might not feel like it, but you are. When my son was only a couple of weeks old and I was sleep deprived and super hormonal, I would tell myself that sometimes “good enough” is just fine. Sometimes just getting through the day relatively unscathed was a major accomplishment.
My son didn’t like the swing or the bouncy seat, either. Although, when he was about 15 months old, he decided they were the most awesome things ever (yeah, we were super lazy parents and left that stuff out way too long…whatever).
so you had my due date and still ended with the same birth date. lol. totally different circumstances though. my child was a bad bad baby. reflux and colic – had to be held 24/7. it got better. I would sing him bad baby songs. And we watched a DVD called the happiest baby on the block and it helped some.
some people are totally anti-letyourbabycryever… but i’m not. i read a great book called On Becoming Babywise. totally helped me out. if you don’t mind letting your baby cry i would recommend it. if you do, i don’t.
both my kids slept 8 hours through the night by the time they were 8 weeks old. just saying.
I just had my 3rd baby in june. I’m going to give you the best advice EVER… Have your hubby download “the happiest baby on the block” by Dr. (somebody) Karp ASAP on his i pad. I read it for my second baby, I only wished I had had it for my first. read it cover to cover and resist the urge to skip around looking only to read the “good” parts. It will not only save your life but it will get you through these early rough parts and give you confidence in the ability to care for your own child. promise..
aw those pictures are just so sweet!! love them. also you crack me up and i know i’ll be the same fretted out way of being a mom, but i bet you’re doing wonderfully.
Babes HATED the swing. All my mommy friends would brag about how their kids sleep in the swing, laugh in the swing, blah blah blah and I would just gag in their face while silently begging my baby to just follow suit and jump off the bridge already like all the good little lemming. So I plopped her in her little vibrating chair. She liked it for all of 2 seconds before she started screaming. I smiled and waved a toy. She screamed some more. The next day, we did it again. She liked it for all of 1 minute before she started screaming. I smiled and waved a toy. You get the picture. It took almost a week and a half of adding time, but eventually she learned to love her little vibrating chair.
Unfortunately, the same trick did not work for the car seat (another object Babes abhorred).
And when she grew bored of the chair, I found the mother of all swings that Babes LOVED. Probably because it doesn’t swing, it hops and does cool motions like kangaroo jumps and things babies actually like. You can get one at Giggle – http://www.giggle.com/eng/product/mamaroo_bouncer/4m005001.
And for the record, we own almost every baby product known to man. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’m happy to share any help so you don’t end up like me – babies r us favorite customer.
1. Your baby is sooo adorable, I cannot even handle it. And you look amazing!!!
2. Your BAD ASS monogrammed shams just made my life happier.
Gavin is adorable and you all look great in the family pictures!
Just remember to take time for yourself and B. Break out and get a snack, shop, whatever and create your own time. It’ll bring you back to Gavin and the family re-energized and maybe you’ll find a cute shopping goodie along the way too.
Hmmm things sound like their going just fine to me. At least you’re not at the point where B comes home to find you AND the baby crying which was probably where I was at around my hubs 2nd day back at work. I’m not going to come up with anything much different than most of the advice you’ve already gotten. Each week it will get a little better, but the first 8 or so really are soul crushing. The sheer exhaustion is just awful, the constant nursing is taxing. Sitting around nursing/holding a baby ALL day in nothing but a bathrobe hoping by some miracle you can pull off a shower, only it never happens, really, really, depressing. But it does get better, I promise. My oldest daughter is now 7 and I have a 4 year old daughter too. Here’s some really good news, the 2nd time around (should you choose to have another babe) is a breeze. Even the labor! Your body will be all, been there done that. The sleep deprivation is even nonexistent the second time around even though you are still up all night nursing, it is so weird. Some things that worked for me (most have already been mentioned I’m sure) Dr. Harvey Karp’s the Happiest Baby on the Block (there is a book & a DVD, I recommended the DVD, b/c really who the hell can read a book w/ a new born?) A CD filled w/ all kinds of white noises for babies like vacuum, windshield wipers in the rain, washer/dryer, etc. (I think it was called “For Crying out Loud”), and the swing. I know you said G doesn’t like it, but have you tried putting him in while he is swaddled? Try that, and put that sucker on “high” too. Oh, and blaring the white noise music while this is going on doesn’t hurt either. Holding the baby and bouncing on the exercise ball is a good one too. I was also addicted to my boppy pillow while nursing from the beginning but had to stop using it for all of the night time feedings b/c I found I would feel more rested if I just scooped up the baby and pulled her into bed w/ me and nursed lying down on my side. It takes a bit to feel comfortable w/ this nursing position especially when you are new at it they are so new and floppy, but practice it and once you get the hang of it, it’s like sneaking in some extra rest, multitasking if you will. Also, start pumping if you haven’t already and get the hell into bed early and have B give him his first nightly feeding via bottle. I had an arrangement w/ my hubs that he would be on call so to speak from when he came in the door until midnight so I could eat/pee/shower/get a solid chunk of rest until then. Good luck, you will soon have everything figured out and be in AP babies
We are all here on the sidelines sending you love and sparkles.
Best advice ever (extremely cliché, but very true)… Enjoy every second, it goes by quickly.
MODG, you are doing great. In three months you will feel like an expert that has been doing this for years. After I had my daughter, I felt like I understood what ADD was. “Are you kidding me! Only FOUR minutes have gone by?!?” It’s so HARD to function wihtout sleep and it’s huge to relinquish your life, schedule,and needs in an instant. Babies are delicious and awesome and forever your love, but in the beginning they really can test their mommas. As a new mom I recall exclaiming to damn near everyone, “Mother’s Day should be EVERYday!”
Hang in there dude. It’s harder to have a newborn in the winter months. Chill in your little baby/cat universe, drink a bit of prune juice, and watch some mindless tv while you nurse. and nurse. and nurse. I still long for my sleep deprived days, they were four years ago, and I swear to God it feels like last week.
Try Miralax. It works awesomely, and it’s safe to take while breastfeeding. Your butt will thank you.
It is hard in the beginning & oh so isolating. It gets better. & baby becomes even more awesome and you think to yourself, “how did I even consider that baby at 3 weeks to be so fantastic because this baby at 2 months, 3 months,… etc is even more awesome?” Sounds like you are doing great job. I agree with the others try to take the baby out as much as possible, you will feel better. He really isn’t on a serious schedule yet so don’t worry about napping. Going out was what kept me sane. I couldn’t believe the real world was continuing to exist while I was home watching Rachael Ray breastfeeding covered in urine and spit up. Keep up the good work & enjoy the last few months of “pregnancy hair”. When it starts to fall out it is vomit educing.
& definitely take a stool softener! It does wonders and won’t give you diarrhea.
You got this. Keep up the breastfeeding it sounds like you are doing great! Continue to be his human pacifier for a while longer. When he’s able to see better and hold his head up more then he will not need boob every time you hold him. Also, for the shower thing, do it in the evening while B spends one on one time with G. Your well being is important. You need to feel as refreshed as you can on no sleep. And my best chunk of advice that I was given…. SLEEP WHEN BABY SLEEPS! Take about a 3 or 4 naps a day. Do this for at least another few weeks. He will get into a better schedule on his own later and you can probably get more night time sleep. Eat while you are nursing. AND IMPORTANT! Stay Hydrated! Breastfeeding makes you really thirsty! Get a big insulated cup that keeps your water cool and just always have it with you.
So, I’ll sum it up -
1) Keep Up the Good Work!! This tough stage doesn’t last forever.
2) Shower when B is there being Dad
3) NAP NAP NAP
4) Eat when G eats
5) H20!!
Also- Talk to your hippy friends about adding Vitamin D to your diet. A supplement would be good for you and G during these crappy months when there is no sun. It will make you feel more energized and help with immunity along with the bone strength crap that only oldies have to deal with.
OH! Almost forgot! Nursing while laying down on your side is THE BEST. You won’t need that boppy every again!
Don’t beat yourself up! The beginning is hard for everyone. When you are more tired than you have ever been, and you are alone, it down right sucks. You’ll figure out soon enough what works for you and G. Just hang in there! You have lots of good tips in these comments. My little guy had don’t-put-me-down disease too, and he was a terrible napper/sleeper. So here are the top things that worked for me, if you want to try any of them:
- I promised myself that I would shower everyday, since it helped me feel like a person and not just a zombie. I either waited until the hubs got home; or I put the bouncy chair in the bathroom, turned on the shower, plopped the little guy in the chair (didn’t turn on the vibration, since I figured out quickly that he was not such a fan) and then rushed through the shower. And you know what, sometimes the sound of the water put him to sleep long enough for me to put on some clean clothes! Sometimes he cried, but I decided that dealing with the baby tears was worth a shower for me.
- I made it a point to go to Starbucks everyday for a latte indulgence. I know some people say not to drink caffeine, but let’s face it, I wasn’t going to make through they day without it. I had a c-section too, and I outright ignored the advice to not lift more than 10 pounds — or whatever the weight restriction was… My infant carrier/car seat alone weighs 16.5 pounds. But I was going to be damned to be stuck at home. You have to decide what works for you though. I either walked there or drove. But getting out of the house was magnificent.
- Make other new-mom friends. Get together with other friends who recently have had kids, or join a group for new moms. I was lucky enough to have a friend give birth to her son on the exact same day as me. So since day one, we have had each to commiserate with and celebrate the journey together. Plus it helps to hang out with someone who you know wants to talk about all-things-baby as much as you do!
- (I think you’ve had this one a few times.) Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Ask grandparents, friends, neighbors, or anyone you trust to come over and give you a break while B is at work. Whether that help is just holding G to give your arms a break, letting you hop through the shower without having to invoke the baby tears, getting in a quick nap, or just running out to do an errand or take a moment to clear your head. It will help you to keep whatever sanity you have left.
- I had a friend (a Philly girl) send me a Miracle Blanket after I told her that my son was having a really hard time sleeping. Not kidding you, the first time I wrapped him up in it and put him down, he was able to sleep without me holding him. TFG. (When we stopped swaddling him, I ended up reading and trying 5 different sleep methods to get him to sleep… 5th one was a charm, or maybe in was a combination of all of them. Who knows? Who cares? He sleeps now. Most of the time… If you want my thoughts on those, email me directly.)
Alright, that’s my top advice. Sorry that got so long! You are doing awesome.
PS. Way to rock the baby pictures! Love ‘em! Keep them coming. They totally qualify as real posts. Heck, I’m impressed that you are still blogging!!
Freaking cute – get a laxative – don’t wait, just trust me!
Something to cheer you up:
http://blogs.babycenter.com/celebrities/suri-cruise-katies-mini-fashion-critic/
Tell B or someone to bring you a copy of Elle to read while you and Baby G are chillin at home!
How peculiar. My child also had the don’t put me down disease. No slings, no swings. Hell, he only liked to be held if I was standing. So I had to STAND to watch the 90210 reruns.
Two things: if you need a shower, sometimes it’s okay to lay him in his crib and let him cry for a few minutes while you do your thang. It won’t be a long, luxurious shave your legs or wash your hair shower (have you met my best friend hair powder?) but you’ll feel infinitely more human.
Or, if you don’t have one, the vibrating bouncy seats are primo. We called it the baby recliner. I’d lug that bad boy into the bathroom and my kiddo would chill for like 10 whole minutes. Dude, thats long enough to deep condition.
Good luck! It gets easier, I promise!
Can you please let us know how Charlie is feeling about Baby G being around, you know, when you get a second? He kinda looks like he wants to eat him in the pics that you have posted.
The bouncy seat that vibrates, plays music and has overhead toys to stare at are awesome. Put him in that thing in the bathroom with you and you just might get a whole shower. OR, rub your eyes until they turn red right before hubby gets home, make him take the baby, and run to the shower and lock the door behind you!
Either way, this part is hard, so don’t be too rough on yourself. You made a super cute baby!
Aw girl. So sorry. Wish I could send you real, actual help, as that was all I wanted. A person who would physically Know What To Do and Do It Without Complaining.
If it helps at all to know someone’s been there, and dragged herself and her kid out the other side:
http://www.helium.com/items/1748077-postpartum-depression-and-suicide
Dang…I have missed a lot being gone so many months. Congrats! These pictures are amazing. I am so glad that you are now in this amazing mommyhood club…it rocks doesn’t it? I wanted to tell you that I know how you feel about your c-section. It makes you feel like less of a woman and slighted because your plans got crushed. But…everything works out for a reason. We get no ribbon or award for the type of delivery we have, how many hours we go without pain medication or how many times we pushed. What is amazing is that we brought life into this world. We freaking created human beings…I mean that’s pretty cool isn’t it? Plus—I guess on the good side at least our vagina’s didn’t stretch!
Welcome to this new chapter of your life…it will be the best I promise.
You are NOT alone! I would sit with a boob in my sons mouth crying because I was STARVING. When my ex went back to work, and before I did, was the HARDEST time ever. My kiddo had colic and the screaming NEVER stopped. Photoshoot of him sleeping and looking angelic? Ha! So you are not the worst, you are not alone, and most of us go through this. I don’t know how people with multiple children do it! And I had the mini co-sleeper too by Arms Reach, loved it!
First time commenter, long time reader. Now that I’ve introduced myself, I want to give you mad props for not blowing ginormous amounts of smoke up peoples asses about how “yummy” and “amazing” becoming a new mother is. The internetz is chock full of mommy bloggers who will not admit the hard, trying and sometimes unbearable times that come with having a newborn. They will chew pills full of their own feces (pun intended) before they will ever admit that the blissfull Pottery Barn nursery ads are a bunch of bullshit, even though they are standing in their own kitchens holding a wailing infant, while bawling their eyes out and pissing themselves from lack of bladder control. Been there, done that and I am pissing myself with glee that you tell it like it is, warts and chewed up placenta and all.
Its hard. Its the hardest thing I think we will ever do. And you put it out there – for realz. I pink fucking puffy heart you for basically telling my story (absent the placenta pills, which 8 years ago was not available to me but I so would have done).
I digress with my worship of you. My point of posting is, I am sitting home on a Friday night with the most amazing 8 year old softball playing, cheerleading diva and the cutest 5 year old quad riding, baseball playing little man on the planet. And I am enjoying a Tito’s Vodka and Tonic, with 2 limes and getting ready for another round of Just Dance 2 with both of them. The Man is in the process of getting convinced to join us in dancing to “Jump in the Line”, although that may require me promising him some “treats”, which will, of course, depend on my Tito’s consumption.
But long story short, I hope in your sleepless/stickaboobinhisface you get out of this that it will all be ok, and someday you will be jamming to Just Dance 27 with Gavin and the brood and remembering how you were an AWESOME inspiration to many new moms. Huge hugs and and open invitation to meet me at Tequila’s on Locust Street whenever you have a boob free for some Margaritas. Pink, sparkly hugs………
Long time fan, first time poster here. (1) BEAUTIFUL baby! Congratulations! I hope you find comfort soon. (2) “the weird vibrating chin scream” sounds like what my son went through. I refused to believe it was colic, and then I discovered how a ceiling fan totally knocked him out of it. My son was born during the coldest January that Chicago had seen in decades, no one in their right mind had a ceiling fan going. At 8p CT every night, there I was, turning it on and walking him around the room so he could gaze at it. It worked for us. Good luck!
Not sure if someone has mentioned these yet… the following kept me sane.
1, The Miracle Blanket. Only way our Gavin was able to sleep for the first 3months of his life.
2. The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. Note the DVD, not the book. The book is so repetitive I nearly screamed every other page.
3. White noise and make it loud.
4. Moby wrap or whatever sling, wrap, baby carrier that baby will allow. Strap on that baby and do your thing, yes that means poop. I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve done it.
5. Don’t stress yourself out toooooo much. I realized after weeks of obsessive record keeping (feedings, diaper changes, sleep patterns) that it was stressing me out beyond compare. Once my midwife told me that G was gaining enough weight, I stopped the record keeping and could breathe again. So figure out whatever stresses you out the most and try to find some way to reduce that task.
6. Shower. I used to get the baby to sleep put him the bouncy chair which I placed in the doorway of the bathroom. The white noise from the shower helped and I could peek out at babe.
7-10. Try to figure out a way to sleep. I seriously couldn’t sleep for weeks. I would constantly check the video monitor. This one takes awhile.
Enjoy the squishy, can’t roll over or do anything without you stage. Even though it’s trying, you’ll be bummed when it’s over.
I agree on the Miracle Blanket. It was the only thing that baby couldn’t bust out of – and we didn’t even do it correctly (i.e. tucking the flaps around her arms and under her). We just laid them across and it worked fine. Sometimes she kicks her legs out when she has wicked gas now that she’s 10 weeks old, but it doesn’t seem to matter.
We use a Sleep Sheep for white noise – ocean setting, waaaay louder than you think you should. Supposedly, it mimics the womb sounds.
I’ve heard good things about Happiest Baby on the Block but I haven’t mastered it.
Keep trying with the bouncy chair and the swing. Mine didn’t like it initially, but around a month old, got into it.
Finally, this is a total luxury item, but there are night nurses who will come and basically take care of the baby at night with respect to everything but the nursing. So….you sleep, night nurse brings baby to you when she needs to nurse, you nurse, night nurse takes the baby to wherever and does the burping, holding, diaper changing, making sure baby is breathing… Even for a couple of nights after a few weeks of no sleep, it can be a godsend. Don’t know what it would cost in your area, but where I live it’s $170 for a 12 hour shift.
Hang in there. My baby is 10 weeks old and slept last night from 8:30 to 6am. I haven’t done any particular “method,” but I do think it helps to have some routine. Oh, one more tip. I figured out that the day goes smoother and baby sleeps better if I start encouraging her proactively to nap after she’s been up for an hour and a half to two hours. I was waiting until baby seemed tired or started to fall asleep and learned that this was often too late. She cried more and was harder to get to sleep. If I anticipate when she’s going to need a nap, it just seems to go so much easier.
Good luck! I freaking love your blog and think you’re hilarious and super sparkly. And G is adorable, for real. Hang in there!
I just found your blog through a friend and OMG I am so in love! I promise I’m not a creeper, I am just also trying to get through my days with a newborn in tow. My little girl is just shy of two months and holy hell. I will definitely be adding you to my must read list!
I just discovered your blog today and I’m obsessed. I have read all the way back to September. If your son does not like to lay down, he may have acid reflux. I have a four month old daughter who couldn’t lie down after she ate for the first two months. We would have to hold her upright for an hour after she ate and then she would sleep at max for an hour and then we would start it over again. She was around 3 months when we finally got it all straightened out. I just wanted to let you know so you wouldn’t have to go through what we went through!
Oh, this takes me back and sometimes I realize I have some sort of post traumatic mommy stress syndrome from these days. I still ask my 9 year old why he had decided he was into attachment parenting while I was not. He tells me to just get over it and move on. Wearing a kid that was 10 pounds at birth was some sort of sadist move on his part. Now my sons are 12 and 9. They let me sleep and they can take care of their own butts, but the rest of the day is like a constant wrestling/yelling/eating match of wits between them and sometimes me. It feels like time is on the slow motion button right now when you have a newborn, but it will move forward on onward. Really enjoy your writing, even if it activated my PTS disorder, lol!
This might sound dumb, but my advice is to relax. How can one relax when one has a BABY, you ask? Good question. I don’t know… I was a total freak out mom at first, and I had my hubs with me for like 6 weeks before he had to work again (from home, but still). But looking back on it, part of the problem was ME. I was tense and nervous and I didn’t even realize it until later.
Also, second bit of advice — and please listen when I tell you this — go out or send hubby out or order online and get rush shipping for 2 things:
1) a “My BrestFriend” nursing pillow, and
2) a Sleepy Wrap sling
It will make your life that much easier. Boppies SUCK. My BrestFriend is AWESOME and makes nursing way easier. The sling is where you keep him most of the time, so he does not have to cry to be picked up. Its so uber crunchy, I think you would like it. At some point when you get the hang of things you can even nurse in the Sleepy Wrap. Takes some getting used to learn how it wraps around you but trust me its fab! Good luck!!!!!
PS the pics are gorgeous and you are a truly beautiful and blessed family.