Part of the beauty of being a stay at home mom is the secret amount of power that you have over little things: like everyone’s underwear.
I call myself the House Manager because 1) I crave power and 2) I like to be the boss of things, which are kind of the same thing. Whatever. So as House Manager, I have a rule that if it has holes in it, it is a rag and not something we wear on our bodies (except my cute holey jeans that make me look like Nicole Ritchie). So as I’m folding laundry I spy a rather nasty pair of Hanes cotton boxer briefs that look like a rat chewed them up around the elastic.
Me: This is unacceptable and it’s now a rag
B: Oh maaaaaan, I love those.
Me: Aren’t these the kind that come in a package and are like 90 cents?
B: You don’t understand because your ovaries are inside of your body.
Me: oh PLEASE explain that one to me….
B: My reproductive organs are outside and need to be held delicately in a soft casing of cotton.
Me: Ok fine, then that’s the only thing that will be delicately holding your reproductive organs.
B: (side eye and incomprehensible muttering)
Me: Ok if you really want to keep them, keep them. But as House Manager, you may not keep them in the house.
B: Where should I keep them?
Me: Maybe in a drawer at work.
B: So I should have an underwear drawer at work?
Me: Totally.
And that’s how I win. Because no one can argue with the house manager over house stuff.
The internet psychic says you would like this too:
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
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This is hilarious, and sounds like the same fights that we have at my house every week. Last week I caught hubs with holes in his under-roos. I asked them how old they were and he couldn’t tell me (but I am pretty sure they are the same ones he had 7 years ago when we started dating). Needless to say I bought him new underwear right after work. Just like bra’s we gotta make sure nothing starts to droop over time hhahaha.
What is is about men and holey underwear and/or socks?? I pick up new panties every time I’m at Vicky Secrets and new socks every time I’m at Marshalls (3 pack of Ralph Lauren socks for $6.99? Who wouldn’t want new socks??). My boyfriend on the other hand has holes in probably 1 out of every 3 pairs of socks and every other boxer brief. *eye roll*
Since I do all the laundry at my house, I am in a way an underwear manager as well. I know you are a house manager so I’ll settle with Underwear Manager. See how it’s capitalized? My man had two pairs of whitey tightys, until I rid our lives of those horrendous things. Honestly they don’t even deserve the title of whitey tightys, they are more of an off whitey with browny and yellowy -tightys. I begged him to get rid of them, he wouldn’t, so a couple weeks later I used my authority as Underwear Manager and threw them away while he was at work. He has never said anything, he hasn’t even noticed. So glad those are out of my house…. and my life.
And…that…is…how…it’s…done! MODG you are the best at House Managing! I love that B will try the arguement & in the end that picture says it all. Great post. Gotta go manage some of my own stuff now…
LOL!
I love it!
My husband is not allowed to bring his dirty socks inside the house. They stay in a bucket in the garage till laundry day. Then, he has to grab them and throw them in the washing machine. I do the rest!
Hilarious! My husband is very fond over his old nasty boxers too. He had a pair from EIGHTH GRADE that threw away a couple of months ago. They fabric was barely hanging on to the elastic. They were his Tabasco boxers that he got from Avery island on a field trip so I ordered the poor man some new Tabasco boxers.
Our Growing Garden
Love it! I shall be house manager from now on! Thank you, you are awesome, with a baby, as usual!
Sometimes i wonder, why there are no one time use socks and boxers..
Dude I JUST had the same discussion w/ my husband and wrote about it too…check these babies out. I just don’t get it…
http://flabourg.org/?p=1181
Sorry, Modg, but I’m w/ B on this one in so much as I wear threadbare (but comfy) underwear. You are still House Manager -please don’t kick me out of the Modg fanclub!
Generally J has the exact opinion as B… It’s comfy, why can’t I keep it/wear it? But today, God’s honest truth, he’s folding laundry & actually asks me to throw away a pair of his holey socks. Proud Day.
It’s posts like this that keep me coming back for more.
We use my husband’s old shirts & boxers as rags too. I suggest cutting off the collar or waistband so they don’t travel back into B’s wardrobe.
THESE are the posts I love. AHAHAHAHAHA
This made me laugh out loud. Very funny!
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