After the debate regarding how much information I should share with the internet regarding my life, my family and my finances, I came to a decision. I decided that there is something important that I need to tell all of you. It’s not fair that I haven’t. I owe it to you all. And I asked a friend of mine to help me tell you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THAT’S RIGHT. I’M VERY RICH BITCH.
VERY RICH. Just like Nene.
I hope this brings everyone the much needed peace they deserve. You can finally sleep again at night.
However, the confusion of my mile long torso MAY also keep you up and for that I apologize. But one confession per day please.
Next up, B’s bank statement.
This blog just gets better and better by the minute.
I said it.
Please disclose your detailed finances in the comments below.
xoxo
RICH MODG.
Word..
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
{ 136 comments… read them below or add one }
I knew it!!! Only rich people wear fancy ass socks.
AND eat ham.
…I am richer…I eat BACON.
Does this mean you’d work pro bono if I asked you to plan/design my whole wedding? Because you’re totally hired!
no. because not only am I rich, I’m also an asshole. So you have to pay me in unicorn gold.
Oh thank god! I only like rich and pretty bloggers.
Jennifer, as soon as I read this comment, I knew it was you before even clicking on your name! Awesome. I, too, only like rich and pretty bloggers… and people for that matter.
Wait, only rich people eat ham? Sweeet, maybe I’m not the 99% percent after all.
Well duh. I already knew that one.
Financial Report of Day: $26 in my wallet. Plan for said $26: Booze.
My goodness, that torso is unsettling. I just threw up into my J.Crew newsstand tote…filled with golden bars and filet mignons.
Let me tell you somethin’ bout Ms. Nene Leakes, ya’ll!!! I’m rich, bitch!
You’re not just cashing checks, you’re cashing TRUMP checks…
Haha! That’s what I was going to say- she’s cashin them Trump checks! Boop! (Said in my best Nene voice)
Wait, if only rich people eat ham, then Jews can’t be rich. So what do they do with all their money?
^Great point.
Twilight zone up in here.
I don’t have an information on my finances (waiting for Madoff to send me my paperwork) but I could probably pull up my ACT scores. I’m sure you’ll find those equally thrilling.
Does that mean that B is getting you a Lexus Hybrid with a big bow for Christmas?
Every time I buy a car I ask for one of those damn bows. I even found one when going through cabinets when one salesdude left me waiting too long while negotiating. They don’t give them out.
Jen, FYI – you are awesome.
Lexus sells them, or they used to at least. They’re like $200. Yes, $200. For.A.Bow.
I know MODG and B in real life. When I went to their house, I was EMBARRASSED for them. Seriously. So average. Everyone who has ever bought stuff online knows that the internet makes things look 100X fancier than it really is. Also, over the past three years I have PERSONALLY picked out most of her major purchases and can verify that none of them are rich people stuff. I mean what girl isn’t always wanting more stuff.
But she does have very nice hair. So there’s that.
Seriously, especially poor little Gavin in that regular person nursery.
Mariah Carey does not shop on Etsy.
Someone should swoop in and save that little boy before he grows up in an average home with his regular person nursery. I’ll bet she wipes his ass with singles instead of 100s. Poor little abused boy.
Which is going to make it seriously hard to bag Monroe when he gets older.
Zdub – if squirrel hugs were real things I would send you a thousand for this comment.
I’m so Rich i poop golden eggs!!!!
Modg, I love you lady, but I think it’s weird that that one comment struck such a nerve with you. Your comments are 99% positive and like 98% ass-kissy even, so why did that one comment bother you so much? If you know it’s not true and you responded to her in the comments section, why did you feel like you needed to create a whole post in response to it? You are going to have negative comments and the best thing to do is just ignore them and they WILL go away. Plus, your readers have your back and rip anyone apart who even dares cross you. If this person knows she’s getting such a rise out of you, she’ll probably continue to pester you with annoying comments. She’s just ONE person, certainly not worthy of her own post.
I thought it was fairly obvious that she was just using this situation to post a funny blog. Negativity is so not necessary right now.
The only thing “fairly obvious” is that only sparkles and compliments are allowed in the comments section.
Yes. Pretty much. Now shoo, I think Amanda already has a mother.
because i got an opportunity to show you my picture of me and nene leaks. Duh a million.
Because she wanted to – it’s her blog – and she can. So stop your concern trolling and enjoy the site that she maintains and she creates. She doesn’t have to justify a word of it to you or any of us.
that dollar sign pendant is very OLD MONEY rich, recognize!
Veronica Corningstone has a point, even if her moniker is the name of an annoying character in a more annoying movie. But remember, y’all, MODG just got her period for the first time in forever and probably isn’t feeling as fabulous as she usually does. I, for one, could give a shit how much money she has. You have impeccable style and I love that you tell like it is, regardless of whether or not people want to hear it.
I knew it! You drive a sup’d-up Bentley too don’t you? Rich bitches
what do you know, me too!!
Only old money can buy super awesome mile long torsos.
Danny Tanner Double Hearts Club 4 LYFE
now that you have cleared things up with the Cuntasaurus – Rex’s out there, you can bling out your butt nuts with pride MODG!
Not poor, but not rich enough that I don’t stress about being underwater on our mortgage and that I don’t need to rein in my recent addiction to Amazon Mom. Ugh, I was doing so well reining it in until I started holiday shopping.
Ham hating rich Asian. <— that should really be your bumper sticker.
I have been reading your blog for a long time and this is the first time I’ve commented. I gasped when I saw the comments to your last blog post. Seriously poor people… give MODG a break.
All joking aside (yes I was joking all you haters). Jealousy has no place here in MODGLand. If you don’t like it here, take some glitter happy pills or get out now. She’s sharing her life experiences with us and I, for one, do not wish her to exclude things because she’s worried about what we, the common folk of MODGLand, think.
HOLLA MODG. Represent.
And it’s not even Confession Friday!
So brave of you MODG for coming clean with us all before we had to resort to having an intervention. Because you blog, we all deserved to know that you are rich beyond our wildest dreams and can have all the cereal marshmallows you want! Afterall, we’re all besties in real life and besties share their monthly bank statements and yearly tax returns with each other – right?*
*disclaimer: above paragraph is dripping with sarcasm.
I don’t understand the point of this post, what am I missing? I did see your $1000 glider, but not sure if that constitutes someone as rich
Some comments were made on her previous post that were not very nice.
Damn, missed it… I’ll read back further
I KNEW IT.
BWAHAHAHAHAAA. I rarely read the comments section on your blog as that is REAL dedication and I am flaky but had to go back and understand what the f was going on. SO AWESOME! I’m VERY RICH too and pee out of my ass on occasion, can we hang out? Ya know, now that I know you are in the “club”?
I can’t be the only one thinking this…since you’re peeps with NeNe, can you get us a pic of Kim’s head sans wig?
LIKE TIMES A ZILLION. I have Googled that and I think she had the wig mafia find and delete every picture of her in existence pre-wig. Every. Single. One. Which is just some shit.
haaaaa!!! LOVE IT!! word.
I’m guessing nobody above your ASSUMED tax bracket has issues with your posts. So therefore, the only logical conclusion, is pure jealousy on the part of said hater’s. Guess what people? If you are jealous of what MODG seemingly has, get a better job, marry a rich guy, or sign up for Paris Hilton’s BFF and get it yourself!
Funny story. I have a friend who I loaned $400 on my credit card to, to fix her car. It’s been 3 months, she has YET to make a single payment, and when I asked her for $50 for my credit card bill this month because I’m broke, she went off on me about what I spend MY money on. Like all the Christmas presents I’ve bought recently. And because I want my money back, I couldn’t give her the verbal smackdown she deserved. Bottom line: Unless somebody owes you money, it’s not your business what they do with theirs.
This has happened to me plenty of times. With family. I lend them money. I buy stuff. They think Iam rich and dont have to pay me back. Im not rich you arshole, I lent you money out of kindness, now pay me back and have 2 kids to support and shit to buy! *end rant.*
I’m also very rich! *High fives*
I talk about how broke I am all the time, but I don’t mention exactly how much I make–some things are best kept private : )
I haven’t read the blog in a while-sorry-so I’m kind of confused about all this. You can be awesome and poor. Now I’m not sure if you’re just flaunting the fact you have money or are trying to shut someone up. Why start with economic status and not with names instead of initials?
you’re missing the point. read the last blog. and the comments. and then read into modg’s sarcasm.
now that i’ve read all the comments from the previous blog-which I read the blog when it came out-the shitty comments hadn’t yet started-and they were shitty. MODG had stellar replies. I think most of us are in that zone of not a trailer hoe, not a kardashian, so it makes sense. so i’m owning it now too.
I specifically read the comments to see what everyone’s bank statements are. And there are none except for the one with $26. I am disappointed. Deeply.
I have about ten thousand dollars in my bank account.
No, seriously.
Because $8000 is going to our adoption agency, $2000 is going to our homestudy agency, and I’m going to figure out how to shit gold nuggets to pay for planet tickets to Uganda to get my kid home.
So there. Now you know. Stop being all sad.
Kait, I hope you have a good adoption attorney who has told you all about the $13k tax credit for adoptions. If not, get on that. (I work in an adoption attorney firm)
@Kait – good luck with your adoption – I hope you are able to get your kid soon, it’s a great thing you’re doing.
Also, I have $29.65 in my bank account. Obvs I be ballin.
I agree LVM,
I’m looking for stats.
OHHHHHH that’s our girl!!!! I wish I had even a little bit of your flare in me.
That’s what she said.
I am broke as a joke. Declared personal bankruptcy this year, to my imminent shame. But when things turn around I WILL PAY for all the debts I was under.
Money isn’t happiness. Happiness is my awesome husband, my adorable and AMAZING 16 and almost 2 year olds. My crazy Keeshonden (dogs) and my friends that make my life a joy. One day I might be a Rich Bitch..but won’t change are the things that Truly. Matter. I want to always remember that.
If you are actually rolling in da dough…..thank the Father for the blessings. And keep on keepin’ on.
Dolla dolla bills, yo. Hippies are always busting at the seams with cash. Duh.
I am so rich that I fart diamonds and wipe my ass with $100 bills. not really. but I did just fart……
I for one hope you get rich off this blog. It is awesome and I am jealous that you found a way to do something you love and stay at home with your baby. I say this as I am currently at work and not with mine. Oh and when you do get rich I am sure you will be besties with Britney and have playdates with Suri.
I have 37 cents in actual, tangible, money on my person. I have a debit card and a credit card with probably a similar amount available. With interest, I should be able to afford something from the dollar menu at McD’s soon. And I am PUMPED!
And just so no one starts thinking poorly of my finances, I budgeted that 37 cents.
And budgetting is KEY!
Since your so rich and all, your gonna buy all your readers xmas presents right? Right?
Im keen for an ipad. Or a new car? oh oh! A house! I dont own one yet, but your rich! You will help me out right?
Anyways..I really want to see pics of G’s party!!!
Pee. S.- The little blue ride on bike thingo you had in your “G wants” list? I totally got one on-line the other day for a cool $19.99! And here I sat thinking, fark. That looks expensive. Then BAM! I found a site that was shouting. BUY ME! IM CHEAP! So you can totally buy cool expensive looking shit when poor, I mean rich.
I too am rich like Nene and MODG. To quote Nene again- I don’t keep up with the Joneses, I am the Joneses.
And hell since we’re here… let’s just start the speculation that MODG gets all her money not from her real babby daddy- but from BIG POPPA. Oh, and she probably has a wig like Kim. Come clean about that MODG???!?!
MODG- I loved your fruit head. Please don’t let these trolls get to you.
Hehehe…
I knew you was a rich bitch!
Oh, and as far as mY finances…let’s just say, I just finished paying off my 2010 taxes. LOL Yep. I’m that broke.
MODG, here is another stat for you since there is only one or two other ones:
We have $37 and some change in our checking account. We have already borrowed $ from our 2yo daughter’s savings acct. Rent is due the 15th. Hubby’s paycheck won’t cover rent + bills. We are heading to the pawn shop tomorrow to see what we can get for some jewelry to get us through until he gets his quarterly commission check the 10th (ish) of January.
Catherine….please email me.
But will you ever be as rich as this bitch? http://youtu.be/8bdeizHM9OU
I have to admit I usually don’t read the comments so I was really surprised by this post. I thought hmmm not sure why she’s sharing her financial status, but hey it’s her business and if she wants to share good for her…
Then I thought, this is MODG – there MUST be a reason she made this post…
Unfortunately I was right.
Still thought it was funny – but unfortunate how it came about.
My net worth…think Louis IVX.
Imagine all his needs, wants, and desires.
That’s me.
Without the money.
But I play the lottery. And Pray.
I KNOW I’m going to win.
And I am NOT sharing!
I think that sometimes people don’t realize that when you say you are on a budget, you don’t mean, flat broke. I have been flat broke. I grew up country poor, which means we grew food, and fished, and hunted, and raised animals, and ate just about anything. I went to a state university, not a first tier, on a scholarship with loans. My goal was to improve my circumstances. I was pretty freaking poor, but so were we all. Then I was a single mom, in grad school, teaching full time, with a sick kid. I was flat broke, yet again. I was fortunate and married a wonderful man with a good job and I stay home now. Budgeting just means that you take the money you know you are going to have, and dividing it up to cover what you need first, and want second, or third. When you are a stay at home mom, a budget is going to rule your household, or you won’t be home for long. And what would have prevented all this rigamarole about how much everyone makes? Some manners. So maybe these “ladies” who are all, “why you spendin so many dollaz, yo?” should pull out Miss Manners in their free time and become more civilized. That would make the world a better place.
I like this comment, and think it sums up the issue very well. Saying you’re on a budget and “whining” about needing more money to buy things like mom jeans, doesn’t mean you’re trying to make everyone feel legitimately sorry for you as if you didn’t have the money to feed your child. Unless you are Nene rich, no one ever has the kind of money that allows you to get everything you want without even thinking about it. It’s no one’s business to decide how you budget your money unless you owe some dollahs to them – or they’re your financial advisor.
Our finances are humiliating on a daily basis. As a military family, we moved from Italy to CA but over $3,000 of the moving expenses were not covered. We had to borrow money and take out loans to pay the traveling expenses. Then the transmission had to be completely replaced in our only car. We have those debts, student loan debts, doctor bills for treating my royalty screwed up lady parts. Generally we have $100 for groceries and gas after bills have been paid. By the 5th day in the pay period we have zero in the bank, and tons of adds on Craigslist so we have a little extra dollars.
But I’m totally rich if you count kisses and hugs from my 14month old. She’s worth the daily struggle.
The humiliating part is that my parents are constantly having to keep us afloat financially. They pay two of my student loans and just wrote a check to make our account positive again.
Since all of the money stuff was brought up in correlation with the first birthday party, I thought I’d mention how my daughter’s first party went. I baked a rainbow batter cake, toted it to the local park and invited two other babies and their moms. My daughter didn’t want cake which was fine with her little boyfriend who licked the frosting off of each piece. My daughter mixed her slice of cake in with sand to make the most colorful mud pie I’ve ever seen, while the third baby just sat there speechless. When the sugar high was at its peak, we gathered up the tots and walked a circle around the slides while clapping and blowing whistles which made for an awesome birthday parade. The kids were then strapped into strollers and sent home for the sugar crash that was destined to happen. The total party lasted 40 minutes, and it was perfect. I’m sad that I didn’t get to follow through will all of the awesome things I pinned on Evelyn’s first birthday pinterest board. Maybe next year we’ll have the funds.
Emily, I am shocked that you had to cover any of the moving expenses if you were moving for a military assignment. Absolutely shocked and disgusted.
Also, is WIC available? I was never in the military, but where I work there are a lot of vets. One woman who was in the Air Force for 15 years said they were able to get WIC overseas and it totally saved them. Okay, I’ll stop chiming in from the peanut gallery now.
Melissa- WIC is our saving grace each month. Since I’m still breastfeeding, we were given a WIC allotment for tuna and veggies plus cheese and cereal.
Unfortunately, the good ole US Air force finance office doesn’t cover everything we needed. When we moved overseas we had to pay over $3,000 in no refundable “paint fees” for the Italian house we moved into. Not to mention over $3,000 to fill our diesel tank so we could heat our house (that was actually the minimum amount you had to put in). I could regale you with crazy stories of stupid expenses, but I think living in Italy for 3 years was worth the hassle.
Not to mention that since we moved to CA, we have had to move twice because the house we were renting was being foreclosed on. We have horrible luck. Thank goodness my medical is free!
We didn’t move overseas active duty, but we decided to try out civilian life after living the Air Force dream. Thinking we would get GI bill BAH benefits if my husband was in school, we would be able to stay afloat with his $15/hr job. Yeah, funny…We had to live for a year with my father and witch of a step-mother-in-law, then moved to a ghetto ass apartment that we can barely afford. The VA hasn’t paid us any of our GI bill benefits in the past 6 months at $1200 a month we should be receiving. We also have had to borrow countless dollars from our parents, they pay student loans and buy most of our groceries. (thank God for WIC!) We didn’t get to buy our 2 daughters a single christmas present this year. Talk about feeling PATHETIC! We also drained our savings PLUS both of theirs. Glad to see others are having as much struggles as we are, ahh, its nice to vent
Kelly, I can send Christmas presents! Hook us up MODG!
Kelly, email me! darbi dot e dot lynn at gmail dot com
Kelly- I’m sorry to hear about your troubles with the benefits. I know a marine who was medically discharged because of a serious injury incurred during training. He’s had 6 surgeries and hasn’t received the VA disability money he’s owed for the injury or his most recent surgery. He can’t work because he’s on disability (even though he hasn’t received a check) and his baby girl was born yesterday.
I can’t imagine living with an evil stepmother. Horrendous. I really hope your money comes through soon. Maybe you can still contact the inspector general?
I tend to get pregnant when I’m financially unstable. Money is a form of birth control for me. It’s very confusing.
http://illsleepwhentheyregrown.com/2011/12/07/ask-mama-jells-how-do-i-react-if-my-kid-is-hitting/
I seem to prefer those crossroads in life to get knocked up. Three months before college graduation, then 3 months after getting married. Uncertainty must make me horny.
I was kind of hoping to scroll down and see that you said “f?$%^! Y’all” Obviously, I think it’s up to you what you share and don’t share. I come to read your hilarious posts. But I do love that you and Nene hang. How could you not when you are both so rich!
Detailed Finances comin’ atcha:
I make $30,000/yr. After daycare for the 13 month old, before and aftercare for the 8 year old, gas, tolls (dirty Jersey to Philly costs effing FIVE dollars a day, duh), groceries, car payments and paying taxes in BOTH NJ and PA, I might have an extra $5000 a year to save or use for the bajillion other things that come along. You know, like the co-pay I’m still paying off from delivering the kid a fucking year ago.
Husband makes twice that, and pays for every other expense that we have, plus my pedicures.
I’ve decided to breastfeed forever so that I never have to buy milk. Yes, I’ll breastfeed the entire family. Budget.
According to the median income for the rest of the world, we are RICH. For realz. Check the stats.
I might not be able to justify a pair of J. Crew ANYTHING, but I’m pretty sure I could if I didn’t stop at Starbucks every morning for a Skinny Grande Caramel Macchiato. I budget for what makes me happy, then I shop at thrift stores for the rest.
Don’t be tardy for the party!
I have been unemployed since August, so I am not familiar with these “finances” which you speak of, but I think I have about $40 in the sock I keep stashed between my mattresses – I mean in the laser protected safe that is also guarded by a pack of rabid demon dogs.
I don’t know how much is in there this second, but by the 10th we should be down to $75. Rich! We both have good salaries, but I was unemployed over the summer, so we’re digging out of a hole. Credit cards and student loans are also way more evil in the long run than they first appear!
The stats have been rather depressing. Not really complaining about mine, I did these things to myself. But everyone else, sad face for you.
I don’t know who this Nene person is. Do I want to?
I don’t know much about money except that I like spending it and I recently learned that the lyrics to Big Pimpin’ are not, in fact, “Big Pimpin’ we spreadin’ cheese.”
But I did recently find this blog and OMG, this is like the male version of you. He even says vagina and holes http://www.assholebaby.com/
This is why I effing love you.
I am so glad you are rich. I don’t like reading poor people’s blogs, they are so blah blah 99% blah blah.
As for my own finances– I am the one earning the income. My fiance is a stay at home dad/gypsy actor who travels the country to appear in shows for hardly any ca$hmoney. I feel like since I knew he was in this prof. when we met (and I thought it was so charming) that I cannot complain about it now (i.e. I made my own bed now I must cry in it) He is a fabulous dad though, so that’s good and even if I tried not to– I love him. I just wish my masters degree had paid off. Turns out I am still only making 29,000 a year, which is too much to get any help (all I seriously wanted was help to buy milk, geez, but I’m too rich for that). Masters degree what a joke.
I feel all exposed and gross now.
Seriously! I applied for WIC when I was a single mom and making about 25,000/yr. They said no. And I was TIGHT fisted back then (that’s what she said? it was college, we all experimented, shut up) and didn’t spend on anything but rent, daycare, and food, and I still had to get help from my parents to buy effing groceries. So yeah, WIC can suck it.
SERIOUSLY!!! First time commenting and I’m totally glad you finally came clean. I have been thinking about this every day since I came across your site.
Oh wait no I wasn’t, because I don’t care… I just like reading your blog.
and I’m rich too….
well wait nevermind, no I’m not.. I’m thinking of someone else.
Somehow feels really cathartic to state this bluntly. We have 1800 in cash in the junk drawer, left over from paying rent yesterday, which will be chipped at for the rest of the month on pretty much anything and everything. My partner puts away about 1000 a month to cover our summer budget visiting his fam in France and his first daughter in New Zealand. And I have about 40,000 left in a CD, inherited from my Gmama, as the only surviving relative. Compensation for being an orphan, I suppose. Funny, writing this makes me appreciative, which I find hard to do sometimes, as we live in a tax haven in the Caribbean, and all my friends and ridicuously loaded!
I enjoy the tone of sarcasm and then actual “No, you don’t understand” in the comments.
True story, earlier this month, we had $33 in our bank account. It wasn’t poor budgeting or frivolous purchases…it was regular living expenses coupled with me being laid off and having to pay some medical bills. Thankfully husband’s paycheck and came in and I did some crazy couponing for Christmas presents and stocking our pantry few months ago. We have food, a home, and even a few presents for my kid. We’re not freaking out about it. We make things work. Its ok. We have more then $33 right now, so its good, but tight. I’m not bitching about it. And I certainly don’t care if MODG has money or how much she spent on her super awesome party for G. I read the blog because MODG is a sassy mama and I can get behind that sort of attitude. If we didn’t have a rollercoaster for finances (DH is a grad student, working on his PhD….lots of unknowns with funding) then I would totally be spending it on tricked out parties for my son and JCrew
But all that will work itself out in time, I’m sure. For now, I live vicariously through MODG and I’m good with that.
So all of you whiny bitches, get off your high horse. This poor person is totally cool with MODG and you should be too. Seacrest out.
Also, PICTURESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Get off your butt (on your butt in a computer chair? do people even have computer chairs still? I am sitting in my bed because I can totally do that with a laptop. WIN) and get to that birthday party pic post. The eager masses demand it
OH and to clarify my previous, I managed to snag a job in retail (the first time ever…its pretty crazy how I skipped that part as a teen) and I actually really like it, so that helps
I am surprised that as a hippie, you have not found the glory that is the company I work for.
word and DITTO to all of the above regarding modg. concerning our finances, they suck. i stay at home with our 12 month old twins and sew all i can to sell stuff in my etsy shop. etsy has changed the way their search works….now you have to PAY to be in the first search pages. my business has gone down majorly. i’m lucky if i can pull in $100/month. and it totally blows. screw you, etsy. our savings is spent and i have to strategically plan grocery trips now. i haven’t had to do that in 7 years and it sucks. and one of the twins needs surgery next month. joy. it will all work out though, right?
Seriously, things suck so much. Including etsy. It pains me to say so because I love finding great things on there, but there are far too many resellers and poo heads on there cluttering it with junk and making it hard for the actual hard working people making things by hand.
Strategizing groceries is totally necessary for a lot of people now, welcome to the club
Sorry about the impending surgery…I know I put off those things for myself (no health insurance), but I always bite the bullet for my little guy. I don’t know what I’d do if he needed surgery though. Good luck!
I <3 MODG, she gets me through the painful 3 hour lecture classes where I learn jack anyway. I have about 8.76 in my bank account right now and with the outstanding student loans and all the other bills (shocker I pay my own bills in college) I have I think I need to meet someone whose income will be a million times better than mine when I graduate. Lay off MODG, ya just jealous because shes fabulous and a hippie.
Hey Rich Bitch, I’m a broke-ass ho. Can we still be friends?!
xoxo
only because you’re a DOCTOR.
MODG, I’m moving home to Pennsy to be a poor nursing student living in my parents basement. Seriously. Can we be friends?
P.S. I’ll babysit 4 cash.
I have to admit… I have been all kinds of pissy about our finances the last few months. I haven’t gotten a bonus lately and the hubs sales have tanked the last 2 months. But after reading some of the comments on here I feel like an ass… it could be worse and we are by no means flat broke. We have a little scratch stashed away and enough money to pay the bills. I am also amazed at the positive attitudes some of you have during tough times. I am a total. bitch. when I have to worry about money. So, what I have learned is that I need to get the eff over it. MODG… you are awesome.
I’m glad somebody’s rich…I’m broke as hell
Alright, here goes! The Purging ensues.
I LOVE me some MODG blog, and I come here because she’s hilarious, and wish I had a blog like hers to express the awesome, weird, crapness, happy that is everyday life!
My son had to have tubes in his ears, my effing birth defect of a non-functioning double kidney landed me in the emergency room two times, (hello $5,000.00 a pop), I had a seizure from the stress of dealing with previously stated bitch ex-wife’s false claim, and then they found a damn lump in my breast last month……..bring on the mammograms and ultrasounds! The silver lining is that I am cancer free (thank you, thank you Heavenly Father), my marriage is still intact, and my parents are buying our kids Christmas this year. Blessings! Filed for financial aide with the Hospital yesterday, in hopes of the writing off some of our medical debt to the tune of around $7,000 (after insurance), have a job interview to work evenings at an after hours dental office, and husband has started working a couple hours a night selling roofing for his friend’s business (although he’s totally a smart IT man). There really are lots of things to be grateful for, and I always have to remind myself of that. My real financial stat: negative $755.00 in my bank account. (Thank the heavens our bank has worked with us during the last while), and super duper behind on bills. Credit is shot to shit, and I have a better chance of spontaneously combusting, than getting a loan. But we still are managing, and all is well! I think that it’s ridiculous when people wanna bag on people that have money. I couldn’t be happier for them! My best friend’s husband landed such an awesome six figure job this year, and I was over the moon for her. Someone else’s happiness can be your happiness too. You just have to remember that EVERYONE will have times where they are down in the dumps, and then ridin’ the big DOLLAH train. That’s life!
I totally just explained to two close people yesterday, what the crap actually happened to our finances this year, and they were shocked. So, I figure I might as well purge here as well.
At the beginning of the year, we were doing ok. Husband makes a decent salary, I have stayed home with my two boys because we made it a priority and just worked it out, and I was still able to shop at Anthro and Modcloth occasionally. WIN. Then, his bitch ex-wife decided to play nasty and filed a false claim against me that I had to hire an attorney……………and $8,200 big ones later, her case was thrown out and the asshole of a judge only ordered her to pay $500.00 of my attorneys fees………just because he was an asshole. I have NO idea. So after all that, we were stuck with paying my attorney the entire bill in cash that we didn’t have, and spread it out over four months because that’s all he would accept (unless of course we wanted to be in collections), we were starting to fall behind on bills. BIG bills, y’all. Oh, and then I received a letter two days ago that the bitch is filing bankruptcy, and is trying to include my court ORDERED attorneys fees in it. NICE. Keepin’ it classy. It’s seriously almost comical what’s happened this year, but then……….holy shit, WTF?!, it’s not.
Well after reading this I really do feel rich. I’m sending super awesome money vibes your way!! After a co-workers 9 month baby girl dying from a total freak complication of the simple croup I feel rich with my awesome little man who is about the same age… don’t get me wrong money rocks but people rock more
You are pretty awesome for having an awesome attitude!
WE pay my husband’s X $1200 a month in child support and that fat bitch doesn’t spend a dime on their son…except for expensive ridiculous toys . She made him quit soccer because she was sick of driving on the weekends. he is amazing at soccer! He wears wal-mart clothes, goes to public school and is the skinniest thing you have ever seen. What could she possibly spend it on? We would spend it ALL on him and then in the summer when we have him for an entire month we still have to pay her! And we put him in nice sports camps…get him at least some damn old navy or gap kids and feed him good meals! It angers me that I can’t buy the presents I want to spoil my family with b/c we send that bitch $$. And I’m not a mean step-mom, she is horrible and i have lots of stories to prove it!!!! She makes just as much as my hubby so she ain’t broke! Sorry…had to vent.
While we’re all venting about money woes (and it’s nice to be able to vent, because I don’t normally talk about money issues with people), I was all set to buy a used bike for my son for Christmas last night. Now I am $300 short for rent this month and going through child support court with my son’s dad, so I was going to be racking up even more on my credit card, but I just wanted him to have something from Santa to open. I go in for TEN minutes to look at bikes and somebody hit and runs my car. Like the entire front is done for. Of course I have insurance, but the deductible is $500. Then I get a call from the child support agency this morning telling me basically that since my son’s dad has no job, they aren’t gonna be able to do much, and that any BACK support he owes I’d have to hire a private attorney. Today is NOT my day, but I am rich with people who love me (unfortunately they are mostly poor too), so I WILL perservere!
Oh, HAHA! I just had to add this little tidbit of a winner scenario of mine as well. When they did the mammogram two weeks ago, they deflated my right breast implant. YEP, that’s right folks! I have a deflating boob that I now get to figure out how I’m gonna fix it, with cash, so I don’t have to stuff chicken cutlets in my bra. :/ See what I mean about seeing silver linings? In my case, I’m only seeing the lining of my underwire………but you understand.
Whoops, sorry. It looks like I replied back to Hit me with your best shot’s post. I just made myself look like an asshole……….
Really sorry about that! I think I confused other people, too. Hit me with your best shot: How old is your son? I have an almost brand new bike for a 3/4 year old that I could find a way to ship to you if you’d like it.
Hahaha, that’s ok! I was a little confused, but your post did make me laugh (not AT you of course, at chicken cutlets!). My kiddo is a tall 6 year old, and needs a 20″ kids bike believe it or not. But thank you so so much for the offer! And to everyone else, thank you SO very much. I am paying it forward with some of my sons old clothes and toys. Thank you.
I would love to help with your sons Christmas if you would agree to it! If so, MODG…can you put us in touch some how?
email me please for her contact info
This is for Hit Me With Your Best Shot….e-mail at leedy.melissa@gmail.com
I have a bike in Charlotte if you are close you can have it! It was my Mountain bike!
Thank you so much for the offer, unfortunately we’re on the other side of the country. But thank you, that’s very kind.
I don’t have much, but I have something HMWYBS!!! If Modg can figure out how to put us in contact, I will mail a tiny bit of Xmas cheer your way. hang in there sister, it will get better
email me for her contact info
I tried to express my thoughts on this BS several times, but it wasn’t coming out right.
Here are a few select stats of mine:
* I would be considered Rich by national average income.
* We own 2 houses.
* We have no debt outside of “good” debt like mortgages, student loans, etc.
* I clip coupons before I do any shopping
* I rarely spend over $100 for any kind of clothing shopping trip, let alone on 1 piece.
* We travel at least once a year, maybe more.
* For Christmas, we are going very small this year with each other and for our 1 yr old. She has more toys and clothes than she can use.
* We are going to help give Christmas to a family with a child suffering from cancer.
* After a freak water issue causing our house to flood and damaging our hardwood floors, we have to come up with $1500 for a deductable right before Christmas so that we can have a floor back down in the kitchen.
My story and financial spending/saving habits are unique to me. MODG’s and B’s are unique to them. What they choose to spend/save on is NO ONE’s business but their own.
I whine about not “being able” to spend money at J.Crew, but if I really really wanted to, I could. It would just mean not as much travel, or saving for furniture in our home, or fencing in our back yard, or spending money on our baby’s first birthday party, which I did go a little nuts for.
We do us…you do you.
My priorities are not your priorities, so no one has a right to judge them.
I don’t think anyone reads past the first 100 comments anyway but I’m leaving one because MODG asked about finances…
I’m so rich (I feel like this is the start to ‘your momma’ jokes) that I purchased my new hardwood floors as my christmas present to my husband (bahaha) and still had enough to buy a bottles of wine for myself after. What can I say – it’s rough being a thousandaire
My husband and I’d like to help. MODG can you put us in touch with each other?
Sarah, I have Broke Mama’s contact info. I need yours.
Well.. We barely make rent every month, We have 2 kids and are moving to a small apartment that we can afford. But.. I live in Canada and get free healthcare and social assistance. God bless Canada.
MODG – I’m so glad that you gave (yourself) and G the party y’all deserved and dreamed of. I’m totally jealous but also super happy that somebody awesome got to do one like that. Other one year old parties that go all out always seem to be thrown by stuffy bitches (read green and pink pearl wearing twats).
I admit, I was feeling a little sorry for myself before reading through this list.
For some reason, our jobs turned out to be remarkably recession proof and we were feeling rather proud of ourselves for keeping our heads down and just getting through it. But then the recession was all, “Guess WHAT, bitches, you haven’t tried to sell yo HIZZLE yet.” (Is that how the recession talks?) So, after a year on the market we finally got rid of the bastard just this week for our “worst case scenario” price. We lost the deposit and all of the equity. The only upside of selling the place was being able to stop throwing 1200 dollars a month down the crapper on a place we weren’t even LIVING anymore. This would have been a TOTAL disaster if it hadn’t been for the generosity of my husband’s late grandmother who saved our bacon with a sizable inheritance- enough to replace the cash we lost on our old place. So BLESS YOU, Ivy, wherever you are, because you gave us a new start.
As hard as it’s been living in limbo for a year, we are living in a comfortable house with wonderful parents. We (as of closing) now have actually 0 DEBT, (“good” or bad, which is pretty crazy.) and enough for a nice Christmas for our children. It’s not so bad, all in all. I feel awfully lucky.
{ 1 trackback }