Tomorrow B made the conscious decision to be married to me for 5 years. I at least owe him a top 10 list.

Dear B,

Tomorrow we have officially been married for 5 years. Do you believe it? Yeah I guess I do too. This past year I think took a good 3 off of our lives. But now that we’ve come out on the other side, I’m very confident we can handle a future kitchen remodel.

Since you always ask me to do top 10 lists, I’m doing to do one and dedicate it to you. And also share it with the internet. You’re cool with that right?

Top 10 reasons why I love you B.

10) You’re cool with me sharing stuff with the internet. Like all the stuff.

9) When you’re super gassy, you know it. You’re not all in denial and weird about it like other people. You accept it and you voluntarily sleep in the guest room to air out your organs. That sort of courtesy does not go unappreciated. The rest of the female population should be so lucky.

8 You don’t judge me when I say things like, wait…what’s going on in Palestine again? I swear I went to Ira Palenstine’s Bar Mitvah…  And then you tell me and I’m like, Jesus B, can you NOT talk during the preview for next week’s Vampire Diaries?

7) You do the grossest stuff in the house 1) brush the cats 2) unclog our poop toilets daily 3) clean cat vomit 4) kill all bugs. It’s reasons like those that women get married.

6) You don’t make me play football, in the  mud, with your brothers and your dad and sister in law who is apparently much cooler than me, on Thanksgiving. Because you know that in any universe, that is never ever happening.

5) You change every single diaper when you are home to do it. See #7

4) You are pretty for a boy. But not like a pretty boy. Do people still use that term? Like boy band sort of pretty? I didn’t think any of them were “pretty” per se, well maybe JT. No not even him. He had terrible hair back then. And there was that guy with the corn rows. NOT PRETTY. Oh sorry, I meant to say…you are a hot piece. That’s better than pretty I guess.

3) You fully support my dream to be the most fashionable, cat shelter owning, stage actress, writer, boss of everything, pop star. Like that one time just for a *test* I told you that I was going to audition for American Idol and you were like, ok I’ll be there. And that right there is why all of those bad bad singers think they are good.

2) You think my MSPaint drawings are brilliant.(yes that my #2 reason and they are in order)

1) You are *the* best dad on the planet to our boy. I read somewhere that you should only marry a man that you would want your son to grow up and be exactly like. Mission accomplished. I hope that G is as generous, thoughtful, and loving as you as he grows up. Maybe one day he’ll even learn how to tell a good B joke.  i.e. The cats think that is a purrrfect idea.

I love you B. For those 10 reasons and 10 jillion more.

Happy Anniversary,

Love me and the internet.

The internet psychic says you would like this too:

1. 3 years ago today I married B. And this post is for him. (hearts and rainbows B)
2. How a Video Game Made Me a Better Person.
3. It Is NOT Thanksgiving Tomorrow.
4. Forced sobriety has made me see my true self. And it’s not a backup dancer for B. Spears. I know.

POSTED IN: B,Sharing