Why hello materialism. I’ve missed you. STUFF I LIKE the toddler/lonely mom edition.

Hello friend of friends. It’s that time again. Time for me to tell you about the stuff I like and time for B to give me shit about buying stuff. It’s ok. It’s the sacrifice I make for you all. That and it helps pay our mortgage.

So here’s the stats so you know where we are in our lives and if this stuff could apply to your life.

I haven’t done one of these bad boys since Christmas, so we’re looking at stuff that a 12-15 month old digs, also it’s winter, so winter stuff. Also there is some stuff that I like mixed in here…so lonely mom stuff. Oh and something for your pee hole. So pee hole stuff too.

That about covers it.

Here we go.

I’m starting this Stuff I Like with something I WANT and don’t actually have. Do you know how sporty I’d be with this? Your kid sits in the front of your bike instead of the back like in the 80′s when car seats didn’t exist and babies smoked cigarettes. This makes me want to be a baby (hold your jokes B). Back in the day of young times, B and I were quite the bike riders. Ok I guess if we were quite the bike riders, I’d use the term “cyclists”. So we just rode bikes. Whatever. G would love this.

iBert Safe-T-Seat Front Child Seat

I know, it’s getting weird already. This stuff was recommended to me on a holistic site where people were swearing up and down for it. It’s for people with sick pee holes who gets lots of UTI’s or have Interstitial Cystitis. It’s totally natural and found in cranberries. It makes stuff unstick from your bladder. You put a spoonful in water..totally tasteless. And your pee hole is better. MAGIC. Read the reviews of Amazon if you don’t believe Dr. MODG.

D-Mannose Powder

I bought this because my friend who recommended it told me that I wasn’t a hippie without one. She was right. This is a skin brush. Apparently you are supposed to brush your skin before you shower. And surprise, not just for hairy gorillas like B (and me pre laser hair removal). This exfoliates and stimulates the skin, ridding it of toxins by the stimulation. I don’t know about all that but I like that it feels all scratchy and makes my skin new. I love scratching my skin off.

Yerba Prima Tampico Skin Brush

Dude, right around a year or so, your kid is going to freak their shit at the dinner table and demand your fork. And when you’re like, um, no, you’re a baby, you’ll stab your eyes out. They don’t really get it. So it’s good to have these ready to go. G thinks he’s the pimping shit with his baby forks. I really recommend a kind with a metal stabber because he actually wants to stab food. The plastic ones don’t really stab stuff well. We like these. Especially in pink.

Gerber Graduates BPA Free 3 Pack Graduates Kiddy Cutlery Forks, Colors May Vary

Santa got this for G. Except he ordered it way too late from Amazon and Amazon didn’t get it here by Christmas, so it showed up on like New Years and made Santa look like an ass wad. But then it snowed! And G got to use it. And it was a huge hit…

See? Loves it.

Paricon Toddler Boggan Sleds

I went through a torturous time trying to get G to drink out of anything that wasn’t attached to my chest. I tried 30 score of cups. (score, like 4 score and 7 years ago. No? too much?) Then I found this. And when you open that little orange top, out pops a tiny spout that looks like…wait…A NIPPLE. I know. For a while we had to hold it up to G’s mouth but now he totes this thing around like it’s his bitch. Hint: take the orange lid off. It’s a distraction for the kids.

0.3L Kids Sigg Bottles

After I bought this for summer shade type things, I thought it was a stupid purchase and a rip off. THEN came winter. Instant hide and seek reading nook. We threw a pillow and a blanket in there and G is obsessed with it. Kids at this age love little nooks and hiding places. This is perfect. It’s out in our living room every single day. It’s also where B sleeps when he has gas. No, I’m kidding. No. I’m not.

Lil Wonders Babyhut

Ok, this is one of those rare baby toys that I talk about that is secretly for adults. Here is the genius of this food. It’s held together with velcro and as you “cut” it with the knife, it cuts apart creating the most satisfying feeling ever. I can’t explain this but the feeling of fake cutting through velcro is addicting. It’s also fun to ask G where his knife is. Like he’s a mini Dexter.

Melissa & Doug Deluxe Wooden Cutting Fruit Crate

My  next thing I like is fancy water.

NO.

I found this idea on pinterest and it was a big hit. These bad boys are sold in a neat little case of six. Open it up and throw in some glitter in one, some buttons in another, some food coloring in another, glue them shut. And bam, amazing kid toy. G loves these.

VOSS Artesian Water bottles for Pinterest awesome time

This one goes out to all the parents in the piece who can’t leave their house anymore for dates because you have a tiny warden up in his crib who won’t let you out. Me and B love to get into a tv show that we didn’t watch and just go through the seasons. It’s an instant date night and we look forward to it. We just watched all seasons of Breaking Bad and it was AWESOME. It was one of those rare shows that both B and I loved. If you need some mom and dad time, grab some dark chocolate, some red wine and some BB. That’s how I rolled. You’ll thank me.

Breaking Bad – The Complete First Season

Another shout out to the Pinterest world. I’m so lame. No I’m not recommending plastic storage bins. Apparently in the world of parenting there is a thing called a sensory bin. I’ll break this down for you. It’s a box with shit in it. Obviously not actual shit. It’s stuff for the kids to feel and play with and stare at and do stuff with. Get a box like this and throw in some noodles, some beans, whatever. But make sure you watch your kid because they always test your choking eyes. Like hey mom i’mgonnachoke i’mgonnachoke. Just kidding. Just seeing how good of a parent you are. So yeah, no choking, but lots of good play time.

See here for ADVANCED sensory binning. It will make you feel inadequate.

Sensory Bin

And NOW MY #1 MOST FAVORITE THING EVER THAT I LIKE. PREPARE YOURSELF BECAUSE IT’S

F-ING BABY SOCKS!!!!!!!

I know what a terrible awful let down. But hear me out. I spent the better part of 12 months putting on baby socks that would get kicked off. I’m talking 16 times and hour. My life was putting on baby socks. And for me it was worse because G was a scooter and the pushing foot didn’t stand a chance. It’s damn cold in Philadelphia and my child was not going to be barefoot. We tried slippers, grippers, pippers EVERYTHING. And these my friends are the only ONLY socks that stayed on. It’s like they have magic elves inside gripping onto baby toes. Because I really can’t explain it. I bought FIVE sets of 3. Best purchase of my life. Ugh my poor life.

Puma Baby Quarter Crew Solid Gripper Socks-3 pack (Infant to Baby)

And there you have it world. Socks, empty bins and forks. Man shit around here is awesome.

Finally I’d like to promote myself. What else is new

Would you like to have a drink with me? Actually the question is would I like to have a drink with you? If you’d like to join the crew in the sidebar under “People I’d drink with” you can be a part of our new advertising model.

1 month is 65 bucks for websites who sell products and 50 bucks for blogs. I include your link and my own witty and clever description of your site encouraging the masses to take a look. There is no minimum amount of months to buy and the sting happens via paypal.

Email me if you’re interested and we’ll be vodka buddies. modgblog at gmail dot com

And to those of you who asked, yes I am still doing the white t shirt review. Hang on to your love handles. It’s coming.

xoxo

MODG

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1. STUFF I LIKE: the 9-12 month old edition. And also mom needs some shit for herself – edition.

POSTED IN: Stuff I like