Attention internet: Everything I am about to say can’t and won’t be held against me in the court of blogs. Why? Because I’m about to say some shit.
There are 2 general rules of saying stuff and not saying stuff that most of society follows:
1) Don’t say bad stuff about babies and kids. For example : “Man, I wish that small child would trip on his dumb ass elmo shoes and fall on his face”.
2) Don’t say the bad stuff TO the child. For example :”Go trip on your dumb ass elmo shoes, small child, and fall on your face”.
I’m here to say that for the foreseeable future as a mother, I am not sure if I can rightfully abide by these societal rules. But, I don’t think #2 counts if you whisper it in their ear all creepy like.
So I’m at the playground with G today. And hold on to your Lululemon ladies, we went to the RICH PEOPLE playground. You know the one with 4 levels, a concierge and hot tub. That one.
I had never been there before but B tipped me off to it. So I went with G in my jeans and t-shirt. What B did not tell me was there was a straight up uniform requirement of flare black yoga pants, pink tops and aviators. I saw one mom in a Juicy Sweatsuit and she was SHUNNED. Poor thing never stood a chance.
So it’s like the first really warm day in Philadelphia in eons. Every child was there west of the Atlantic. And it wasn’t just regular kids. It was the dreaded “BIG KIDS”. We moms of toddlers say BIG KIDS like it’s a troupe of Nazis. “Oh we had to leave, there were BIG KIDS there”. “Yeah, I hid with my family and some rations under the floor boards because there were BIG KIDS coming”. You get it. But G was so excited so I was ready to take them on.
MODG VS BIG KIDS.
G is still such a little chunk. He’s pushing 30 lbs at 15 months and waddles like Frankenstein in a cloth diaper. It’s a mess and adorable. But he’s not fast and he will trip over his shadow. So I am still right next to him as he attempts to climb the 8 foot rock wall (I told you, rich people playground). All of the other kids are sans parents. I mean the parents are there, but they are on a bench talking to each other about Real Housewives of the Playground (moderately jealous). Regardless, it’s BIG KIDS, G and me.
That’s when it starts. The BIG KIDS swarm. It’s like they are a 70% blind and deaf species. They just GO. They don’t care who or what is in their way. They push and shove and fall and keep going. At one point a gaggle of them all went down a slide together, crushing another child who just wasn’t up to BIG KID standards. He was also in a sweater vest. I think his mom was the Juicy Sweatsuit (yeah).
But then THEN they catch G in their tunnel vision. Little G is playing nicely with the X’s and O’s that spin around. When out of no where BIG KID in pink pushes my SWEET ANGEL MONKEY BABY to the ground. This is so BIG KID can play. She also says MOVE.
I stop breathing. I clench my fists. Never in my life have I wanted to throw a child off of a 6 foot landing before. Never have I saw such a child as my mortal enemy put on this earth to create fiery evil and all that is bad.
But I don’t do anything. Obviously. I’m not a monster (like her). I pick up G and brush him off and we move on.
The rage is still burning in me. You should know that I actually happen to like kids more than most people. I was an elementary education major. Me and kids are cool. So this was a whole new sort of illegal feeling.
And as G played nicely somewhere else, BIG KID in pink tapped me on the shoulder. OH NO SHE DIDN’T. SHE’S GOING TO START WITH ME. OK I’M READY. I CAN TAKE HER. I MEAN, SHE’S 6. SHIT, BUT I STOPPED WORKING OUT. I MEAN…
“miss? do you know how to tie shoes?”
(…oh maaaaaaaaan. i’m an asshole from another planet.)
“Yes sweetheart, let me help you. ”
“thank you!”
And off she went.
And I wondered what on earth is happening to me? She’s just a little girl. She doesn’t even know who Andy Cohen is yet. I’m an adult and I need to use my GD head. I also have to teach G how to not act a fool in his life.
Also one day G will be a BIG KID. And he’ll be an asshole to someone other than me. And I hope that mom will see G as just a kid who is learning to not be an asshole. Because that’s all that kids are. Mini assholes who are just learning to be regular. It’s hard work. I’m still working on it.
Then I hear it.
*SMACK*
THAT LITTLE BOY JUST PUSHED G TO THE GROUND. I WILL MAKE HIM WISH THAT HE WAS NEVER BORN AND NEVER WORE A DAMN SHIRT WITH ELMO ON IT. PLEASE KID. TRY ME.
F.
I’m going to get arrested in the next 10 years.
Is this just me? Do all moms hate other kids? Not hate I guess, loathe? Are we all giant assholes who stand no chance in teaching our kids to shed their asshole layer?
speak to me people. preferably before I’m in prison.
xoxo
MODG.
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
{ 148 comments }
Yesterday I had same problem when a gaggle of feral children at a mall play place that smelled like feet tried to attack my sweet white haired angel muffin.
I stormed my children out of there. One child was on top of an ear of corn (yeah seriously) like King Kong. No where did I see what parent was supervising the children. Who the fuck watches a giant child push a 16 month to the ground and says nothing?
Oy.
I so needed to read this post. I do feel this same way. I tend to try and stay out of the BIG KIDS way. If I see them coming, I’ll finish whatever we are doing and make my way to a wide open field where my kid can trip over himself in peace. I think you did awesome, not sure I’d have been as classy!
Also, try going to the parks while school is in session. It’s way more pleasant!
LOLOLOLOL!!!
I can feel the rage billowing up inside me just reading this! Girl, you done good. You done good. I dread the day I see someone treat my child badly. Cause seriously, you’ve spent his entire life being good to him!
And I love how you got to see a whole new side of the little girl…it’s so true. And I guess it’s just an opportunity for you to take care of your sweet boy and help him learn about his feelings… YOUR FAVORITE!
No, I know you love doing that, but you’ll probably only admit to it sarcastically. WHICH IS WHY I LOVE MODG!
When my oldest was 18 months I hated the big kids. And then she turned 3 and was the big kid. When the F did that happen? Now I have to make sure she isn’t the one pushing the little kids down!
My little one isn’t even born yet, but I DO have a three year old brother (18 year difference. Yes. my mother IS psychotic) and I feel the exact same way.
Except I mainly get angered at the moms that sit and watch and laugh.
Like B*tch your kid was little once too, tell me you found it funny when the Big Kids were rough with your kid. It was probably all WW3 when it happened with her kid, but God forbid you pull out your weapon on her kid (and by weapon, I mean the nice toned, “be careful, he’s much smaller than you!” speech we all feel entitled to give).
If you end up arrested within the next 10 years, I’m sure there will be plenty of us beside you to keep you company.
Yes. All kids other than your own are assholes.
Word.
I don’t have kids of my own, but I’m The Best Aunty Ever ™. I work on the assumption that if the kid isn’t related to me by blood, they’re an asshole.
But like MODG would for G, I’d take a bullet for my nieces and nephews and so I’m always happy to employ my ‘blank-faced eyes of death’ look on any Big Kids pushing them around. It always works.
Nailed it.
My kids can be assholes sometimes but in general, they’re pretty fucking amazing. As a parent, I can be an asshole sometimes but in general, I’m pretty fucking amazing.
Other kids and other parents? You guys are all assholes.
The thought of just going to the park makes me anxiety stricken due to Big Kid interaction. Problem is, until they are in college, there will be kids bigger than Evelyn.
Yep, big kid hater here. My mamma friends and I meet at the mall’s kiddie center at 8 a.m. to avoid the “big kids”. We have infant/toddlers and totally give the krazy-kids stink eye! I’ve mumbled some evil under my breath too…
OMG, I was just explaining my hatred toward “big kids” (i.e. 4 and older) to my sister the other day. Big kids in the toddler area of the playground make me so inappropriately angry, I can’t even begin to form coherent enough words to explain it.
This hit home for me today. My (almost) 15 month old was bit ON THE FORHEAD at daycare yesterday! Seriously? Who bites someone on the f-ing forehead?! Still has the teeth marks to prove it! And of course it’s against policy to tell me which kid did it… Probably cause there are crazy moms out there who would freak out on the other kid!
My 13 year old let some kid at day care bite her on the back repeatedly when she was 3 or 4… The teacher pointed the little cannibal out to me right before telling me that the child wouldn’t be returning to the day care.
So glad I’m not the only one! They are all pretty much tiny assholes with stupid clothes and snotty noses. I used to be a professional nanny who loved all kids, now I’m the mom of a sweet slightly timid toddler and I hate them all, and their mothers. Okay, that is clearly a gross over exaggeration but I feel you. I think it’s natural. I try to stay out of playground politics but if a big kid is rude to a baby, especially MY baby I do nicely remind them that they need to be careful with little ones, wait their turn, cover their mouth when they cough ect. It takes a village right? How are they going to learn to be nice if they aren’t taught. Good luck.
Love it! I’m totally guilty of giving the stink-eye to the gigantic 5 year old (no really, he looks 8) who pushed my 2 year old on the trampoline. It’s the mama-bear syndrome and I think we all have it
You are not alone. I have been known to engage in death-look-stare-downs with small children, just so they know they are on my shit list. Here’s the thing… I love my own children but the rest of the world’s offspring… I can barely stomach them. I’ve gotten better with age, I’ve gotten softer and nicer. But sometimes I still want to lose my shit on somebody’s kid for acting like an idiot. Wait until he goes to school and he gets bullied or picked on or made fun of. THEN, you want to pop a cap in someone’s ass. But you can’t. It’s the worst ever.
AMEN!!!! Nothing makes me madder than taking my boys to the park (2 and almost 4) and there being other kids there with parents that don’t give a rats ass about what their kids are doing. My thoughts on this are go slap the parents. The park is not a place to take your kids and ignore them! Ugh! Im doing my best to raise little boys that don’t turn into horrible big kids. But im also the parent at the park paying attenion to my kids. (And for the record not a helicopter mom hovering. Most just paying attenion and being aware of what my kids are doing.)
I loathe kids. I have three of my own, and it’s very rare for me to like any other kids – very rare. I can probably count on one hand the number of kids I actually like. Whether this makes me an asshole or not, I don’t really care, because I can’t change that about myself. I have loathed them since before I even had my own kids, and now that I have my own and am therefore forced to be around other kids, I am sometimes living a nightmare. Yay! And sometimes, their parents are even worse than them.
I despise the park, and similar places where gobs of people with even more gobs of kids gather. If you were interested and had some spare time on your hands, this is what I think of the park:
http://motherhoodadescentintomadness.blogspot.com/2012/02/park-sucks.html
And at the park, this happened. It’s similar to your experience. It sucked.
http://motherhoodadescentintomadness.blogspot.com/2012/02/example-1-of-why-park-sucks.html
I included those so maybe you can take heart in knowing that you are not the only one. You have a kindred spirit here.
Giant passive aggressive asshole here. About the time one of those heathens touched my child I would’ve started the whole, “Where are their parents!” tirade. It’s not something I’m proud of but it’s the only way I keep myself from hurting them like they hurt my little angels!
I took my two year old to the California Academy of Science (really cool place to learn). There was this area where some projection thingy made bugs appear on the floor and kids go to step on them. Well, my toddler was having fun yelling, “ladybug!” as she tried to squish it. Then, out of nowhere this big kid came up to her and put his hand on her face and pushed her out of the way so he could squish “her bug.” My toddler landed on the floor and just as I was about to say something to the boy (Oh yeah, I was!!), my husband came up from behind me and yells, “get away from her! Don’t you push her!!” He did! My mouth was wide in shock, as I saw the “big kid” squirm away. I waited for his parents to say something, but they didn’t. No one said anything. That little boy didn’t even get near Emma after that.
Honestly, I was ready to tell the big boy “please don’t push her” in a nice way. But my husband’s angry tone worked too.
Get ready, because it will happen again and again. You have to stand up for your child, especially if the other parents aren’t around. Kids don’t know that they are being assholes, but as an adult we have to teach them, even the ones that aren’t ours, as long as we do it nicely, and in a very tactful manner.
Other times, my daughter has been the oldest in the playgroup and is always pushing the little ones around and yanking the toys from them. I have to keep a constant eye on her.
Yes. I hate all other kids at playgrounds that act a fool and then I hate their moms/dads/grandmas/grandpas etc sitting on the side ignoring their kids bad behavior, because really, it’s hard to learn not to be an asshole if no one tells you it’s not ok.
It’s okay to loathe big kids. My 5 year old has had, “watch the baby” drilled into him since he was a toddler himself (our family is legion, there are always babies around). However, there are still kids bigger than him, and they are rough. So, I have a few strategies (I haven’t been shanked yet, so I guess they are okay). 1) If the child is just playing a little rough, and my kid gets in the way I will ask them to please watch out, there are smaller children, I will also try to get my smaller child to a different area. 2) If the child is deliberately being hurtful to my kid I will ask him/her to stop 3) if said child does not stop I will ask for his/her mom. If the child won’t answer, I very loudly ask the public who is responsible for THIS CHILD RIGHT HERE! Then I explain calmly and politely what the kid did, and ask the parent to handle up on that. (I use grown-up words when I do this). If the parent is an asshat, and does nothing I turn to my 5 year old and employ my least favorite tactic, which you can only use when your kid is older. 4) Tell your child, in a good clear voice, that the other child’s parents don’t love him/her enough to teach him/her how to behave in public and have fun with other kids, so we should feel sorry for him or her. I prefer to do this where the other parent can hear. Then I tell my kiddo, who is 5, that the next time the bully pushes him or whatever, he has permission to hit him in the face and to keep hitting him in the face until the bully is on the ground crying. I explain to my sweet 5 year old that because the bully’s mom didn’t teach him how to be nice, we have to show him why he HAS to be nice.. (I know, I am such a terrible parent! but read the rest before you go apeshit on me). Every single time I have done this, the other parent has given me a rage glare, gathered her kid up and stomped off to either another part of the playground, or left altogether. I am a big believer in social censure, as well as natural consequences. As for Big Kids versus the baby. I keep the crawler close and out of the way as much as possible. Have fun in the playground wars!
I will definitely have to employ the “parents don’t love him enough” tactic! Awesome!
This. Is. Awesome.
“Then I tell my kiddo… that the next time the bully pushes him or whatever, he has permission to hit him in the face and to keep hitting him in the face until the bully is on the ground crying. I explain to my sweet 5 year old that because the bully’s mom didn’t teach him how to be nice, we have to show him why he HAS to be nice…”
My little girl is only 14-months-old and get pushed down a lot. And I mean A LOT. Like the big kids see her adorable, angelic face and make a beeline straight for her! When she’s old enough, I’m totally employing your tactic!
Katie E, I think I love you.
Hahahaha! I love “parents don’t love him enough”! I don’t know if I’d ever have the guts to use it, but but made me laugh out loud at my desk. Awesome.
I wish I could remember the name of article that described you, but in effect, it said people who take your approach are stunting their children’s emotional development by not allowing them to work out playground politics on their own. It’s one thing to protect your 15 month old from much bigger children, but a 5 year old is getting to the point where he/she should be able to start learning to fend for him/herself without his/her mom stepping in a publicly shaming the other kid’s parent. I know you will probably be offended that someone isn’t cheering on your over-the-top and unnecessary methods, but it sounds a lot like you’re helicoptering rather than letting your kid figure out how to socialize without you hovering. You’re also teaching your kid that the only way to deal with supposed bullies is to bully back and emotionally belittle them. Guessing that will just make someone who already probably bullies because he/she is insecure even worse about it. I hope to God that’s not what they’re teaching kids at school these days.
Exactly. Five years old=kindergarten, which means you can’t be around to protect your kids all the time. They have to learn to deal with things on their own. Which is not to say you shouldn’t defend them when it’s necessary, but saying the other kid’s mom doesn’t love him when he is standing RIGHT THERE can be pretty emotionally crippling and that’s unfair to him, no matter how big of a jerk he was to your child.
I’m grabbing my popcorn for this one… It could get ugly.
I have encountered this on a few occasions. Trust me when I tell you that I have death rayed several children into submission. I think every playground has that one “bad mother” who is more concerned with herself than the shit her kid is laying down to others in the playground. And don’t be fooled, I have corrected said kids a few times *which in nice people terms means I bitched those bad ass kids the eff out right in front of their parents* You gotta do what you gotta do.
My baby is only 7 months and I get defensive over the <1 yr olds at his daycare. The kids get pretty violent though, his first "ouch report" read like a police report… location: block area, witness: ms. amy, incident: A was found hitting H over the head repeatedly with a block.
This is the stuff that nightmares are made of. I don’t have any intention of reproducing. It’s not because I’m afraid or I don’t want to, it’s that other people reproduced and their kids will probably suck and mine would be the best. So it like, wouldn’t be fair. You know?
Agreed. This is why I’m terrified of reproducing — because other peoples’ kids suck. so. much.
yup, been there!! took my 14 month daughter to a playdate and a 6 year old boy was swatting at her and trying to punch her in the face for wanting to go down the same slide as him…i wanted to yank that child aside and prob would have, but his dad got there before me and was more embarassed than any of us…wasn’t sure how to react…i guess this happen and we try to spot it before it happens and then move on? i am curious to see what everyone else says, though
long time reader, first time commenter woo!
i feel your pain. same thing happened to us today.
ive got a petite pint size 2 year old (who weighs less than G, ha! 23lbs.) who get pushed all around playgrounds. i still stay pretty close to her mainly to make sure she doesnt get trampled going up the stairs to the slide or get trampled at the bottom of the slide if another BIG KID decides to go before she is completely off. but in any case of a BIG KID or any kid that should “know better” judging by their size and age i straight up say “wait your turn” if they jump in front of her for example.
if a kid (of any size) pushed my kid down, i would let them know its not cool. i wouldn’t go all crazy mama bear on them, i would do my best to convey that pushing other kids is not nice and not ok, especially ones smaller than them.
whats the worse that could happen? the kids mom confronts you about pushing your parenting their kid? thats when you tell them their kid is being an asshole and they should probably do something about that.
we try our best to teach respect for other people/kids/toys/etc., and being “nice” to people is the way to go around here.
ha! i just noticed your tic-tac-toe on your header says “ass”. awesome.
that is all.
OMG – me too! HOW did I never notice that before???? Another reason to sparkle heart your awesome blog!
Oh. My. Gosh. You have hit the nail on the head so nicely here, every word you speak is truth!! I have an almost 2 year old and it pains me to go to the playgrounds when the “big kids” are around. Just wait until you hear and see a group of them that your fearless and ohsofreakincute kid walks up to waving and they shun him and say, “let’s go play somewhere else”. Knife inserted into my heart and turned! I wanted to drop kick them all. You are hilarious, and I love your posts!!! I’ll see you in prison!!
This happened to my 2 yr old.
My neighbor’s daughter is 7 and loves to play outside. We live in the same culd de sac (sp?), so we are very close to each other. Well, my daughter walked over and started saying “hi” and one of the girl’s friend says, “Don’t let her touch our stuff!” and so the neighbor’s daughter says, “Emma (my daughter) go back to your house!” and she gently pushed her away. I felt so bad for my little girl who wanted to play with them. My neighbor who has twin 6 yr old boys always invite my toddler over to play! They’re so sweet!
Yes. I hate all other playground kids, but then I stop and watch their parentsgrandparentscaregiverswhoever that took them to the playground and decided not to watch them, because really, it’s hard to not be an asshole if no one helps you to not be one. I try not to judge, because who knows how my child will act in 2 days let alone in 6 months or so when he starts becoming a big kid, but really…. I do judge. At least get up and discipline your child/say sorry to the parent of the baby your kid was an asshole to!
In our world I get all crazy-mommy-eyed when my 3 year old speaks to a BIG KID and they IGNORE HER. All she is saying is Hey! What’s up? Ya wanna run around in circles with me? and they are all….ummmm did I hear something? no? I didn’t think so.
SHE’S JUST A LITTLE KID WHO WANTS TO PLAY WITH YOU!!!!!
oy.
Im one of those asshole parents that will yell at other peoples kids. hey,,, I see you effing up? Im going to call you on it. Even if it doesnt involve my kid. They need to be taught to be nice to eachother.
Dude, I hate other kids too. You even get a mild side-eye for being an elementary education major (really?? you’re nuts. were you ever a teacher?). But GAH it is hard to hide my side-eye and disdain for shit kids. I rearrange my grimacing mouth into a smile shape and sweetly say whatever the appropriate version of “we don’t act like an asshole” is to the offending child while giving a half–side eye, half–are you friend material? eye to their allegedly supervising parent. And my kid is 15 months and maybe 18 pounds, so I will seriously throw down if some monster BIG KID messes with my cautious girl. Lil lady’s fragile, back the fuck off. I mean…yeah. I need to work on it too.
Speaking of War on Children… have you seen what Invisible Children is doing? You’ve gotta watch the video and spread the word to your ladies.
I gave you a heads up on the fashion blogger rocking your vagina shorts, now I’m helping you be involved in a world wide war on children. Let’s do this MODG.
http://www.invisiblechildren.com.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com/
ok i totally know it all about this because I’m a 3rd grade teacher and am around other people’s big kids all day, and am allowed/supposed to tell/teach them what to do. So here’s what to do… if a kid does or says something you don’t like say, “whoa there, let’s try that again, I’m sure you can think of a better way to say that”, see if they correct themselves, if not feel free to tell them how to do it right (like you should talk nicely or wait your turn or whatever). But if they push or touch your baby, you can & should totally say something, like, “hey- that is not ok, you may NOT do that! Go play somewhere else. You are going to have to leave this playground if you don’t keep your hands to yourself.” And that’s really going easy on them if you ask me. I would totally not mind if anyone said that to my kid in fact I would want them to. And when G gets older he will know what to say cause he heard you say it.
Love this! I need to employ this tactic next time my friend’s 3-year-old shoves my 14-month-old angel-faced daughter to the ground. He’s old enough to understand.
~F
I did the same thing with my son…and I still get angry when kids (his age or not) are intentionally (or not) bully-ish to him. I would often just leave if there were big kids at the park. Now that he’s 5, I make sure he’s careful of the littles (including his sister). There seems to always be a kid at the park who is extra rough or just does not pay attention to others. What your feeling is so normal and your mommy armor is full on up!
Yes, we all hate other people’s kids… or I like to call them OPK, and I’m not down with them. Then your toddler will be a “big kid” and you’ll feel like the giant Asshole when they do something messed up to Jr. on the merry-go-round. Plan your next baby accordingly, because for some reason hiding behind a precious infant makes people not hate you as much when your older child is being a little shit on the playground. Raising assholes to be regular… haha! Love it.
I can say as a mom of an almost 2 year old, I am not a fan of big kids! Especially when they are being monsters to my little kid! I think you handled yourself appropriately and better than I would have. I don’t think I could have just walked away. I think I could have stopped by myself from beating the other child to death, but I would have told both of them that it is not okay to push any child over….especially mine! Good job MODG for keeping your cool!
Oh yes. Big Kids (and your description here about the nazis coming is SPOT ON) are the bane of all playground adventures. You will learn not to go anywhere fun on Saturdays, when school is out, during the summer, over Christmas/Thanksgiving/Spring Break or any time not in the hours of 9-2. Because BIG KIDS ARE THERE.
A 2 year old little girl came after my Simon (1) at the mall playground the other day and I almost cut her. AND her mom was a hippy! She was breastfeeding her at the mall, we should have been BFFs. Instead, she got the look and a passive-aggressive “Honey, I don’t think that little girl wants you to play right there. Let’s move over here so she doesn’t get upset any more.” The mom didn’t react, which is like Playground Mom Rule No. 1: Listen for the P-A threats!
What I’ve learned is A) you have to remember it’s the parents’ fault, not the kids IF they are under 5 and B) unless he’s truly hurt, it probably didn’t even phase him, so that helps. But I am also not afraid to scold a kid if he repeatedly singles out my child. It usually works.
Oooooh, with my first baby I HATED big kids!! Who do they think they are, acting like kids and not paying attention to my baby?! But then I realized….maybe my toddler shouldn’t be playing on the 8 foot rock wall or whatever. She should be over on the swings. And now that she is older (she’s all of 3 1/2 now, so not even a big kid yet, regardless of what she thinks), I realize that the mom can be AWESOME (like I am), and the kid can still push someone over. They need to learn that behavior isn’t acceptable somehow, which probably involves doing it in the first place and getting in trouble. 200 times. I still get twitchy if someone else is mean to one of my babies, but know that I also get twitchy when it is my kid tossing yours aside to get to the slide.
Yes, we ARE all pyscho in this regard.
I had that moment with Q the other day. We are playing …(read that is playing, I was yakkin’ on my cell to a friend in another state while I followed Q from one point to another). Several other kidlets are playing, all pretty chill. Nice. Of course the ones older than my 2 year old Q have to pet her head , try to pick her up, kiss her on the cheek <> AHHHH GET OFF HER>>>COOOTIESSS!
All of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I see a LEGION of children coming down the road from the local Catholic school, head right towards the park. ok to be fair, it was two classes of preschoolers, 15 and 18 count strong each…but I saw a legion of BIG KIDS swarming over my sweet little Q. When they made it to the sidewalk that bordered the park area, the teacher had them all line up…and I could see it happening. As soon as she said go, the Legion swarmed the playground like a Biblical plague.
Yeah…I picked up a not-happy, screaming Q and left. I knew it would NOT end up good. And I was NOT happy that a school came and essentially overtook the entire playground, both the section for the older kids, and the one for the lil uns. My girl was having a holy fit, and thankfully we had had almost an hour there.
When we go to the Big Playground, like the one you pictured above, we have the same issues you do. And it takes all I have in me to NOT go rogue bitch on people. Especially people who plant their happy asses and ignore their trolls…er, I mean kids, when they start steam rolling the babes in the small play area set aside for the littles. Grrr. I like to go when the Trolls are under their bridge (ie, in school still). That was my husband won’t get a call from the Sheriff’s office asking him to come pick up Q from Social Services because I got locked up for going bzatch on some yuppy mami.
:p~~
I hate I mean loathe the other kids also. I wrote a little story about the little b that stepped on my kids hand:
http://growingnelsonfamily.blogspot.com/2012/01/playground-manners-behavior.html?m=1
You’ve got to just use your judgement. Is it situation A with Pink and G, where she obviously doesn’t know better or situation B: kid pushes another around in a bullying way? You handled it spectacularly, by the way. Kids will be rough with each other and G will learn that. But also, each new situation is a learning moment for them. Maybe Pink’s mom was too busy with DHOTP to teach her daughter manners. Not Pink’s fault. But bullies get it from me. I STEP IN. I’ve made kids run. But only because it needed to happen. No one picks on a little one. By the way, it’s not just my boy I defend, I look out for all littles (and biggers). And my boy? The kid with the horribly interfering mom? One of the best behaved, most popular kids around.
I hate them. Hate big kids. When big kids hit the playground after school we leave. Mostly because I want to give them a swift neck punch. One girl tried to tell my G that he couldn’t come into the play house and I STARED HER DOWN and said, “OH YES HE CAN.” I was kind of embarrassed. And kind of wondering where the eff her mom was.
I can’t stand other peoples children … I love mine to death but I have no patience for others (especially at chick fil a and on playgrounds) I get so sick of my daughter being shoved around by little a-hole kids!!!
I’m in Australia, and weirdly, the kids here are the same. Who knew? I follow my two year old and make sure no Big Kids treat her badly. I insist on turn-taking, and fair play. I taught high-school for 16 years so there must be something in my voice that makes kids listen, because it works for me. No child under a certain age can stand up for themself. That’s why you’re the mummy. You protect them and help them, and as they get older, train them in developing resilience and group skills to survive the pack. No one messes with my baby!
I go see my 8 month old baby girl at daycare on my lunch breaks sometimes, & I give some serious side-eye (on the inside) to the kids (up to 18 mos) who are already walking b/c I just KNOW they are walking on my baby when I’m not there (despite the fact that there is no evidence). Of course, on the OUTSIDE, I’m all, “Hi, Georgia/Elise/Ronan/Anoki, look at how big & cute you are!”
Oh this is totally normal. It takes all I have to not “gently” push the other 1 year olds in my daughters class to the ground when they try to take something from her, so if they actually touched her, I think I would actually do it. Even my husband does this. Any time he takes her to drop her off, he will call me SO PISSED at how “those other kids” come up and try to “mess” with her (aka say welcome in toddler language) or “steal” her stuff (aka look at the shit he wasn’t supposed to let her carry in from the car). So yeah, you’re normal. Just make sure when you push them their mothers aren’t looking.
I HATE big kids. They are SUCH assholes. One day I was with C at the playground (this is the ghetto playground, not the rich kid playground – I live in Oakland, playa. Yes, THAT Oakland) and we were sitting on a little seat that spins. She was like, a year old. So some stupid big kid comes over and tries to push her off so he can sit there. THERE WERE LIKE THREE OTHER LITTLE SEATS THAT SPIN. So I said to that asshole, “we are sitting here. Why don’t you go sit on one of the other seats that spin?” and he says, “BECAUSE I LIKE THIS ONE.” And I said, “well, we are already sitting on it.” And you know what he said? He said, “NO I LIKE THIS ONE YOU GO SIT ON ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE I AM A BIG OLD ASSHOLE.” Okay maybe not that last part. Where was his mother?! Oh yeah, his mother wasn’t there – his nanny was, and she was gossiping with the other nannies. And that’s where my distrust of nannies began.
From a mom of 3…i cannot stand other ppls kids lol so glad to know I’m not alone on this! I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to be the total asshole I felt those kids were being! How dare someone hurt my sweet baby…until my sweet babies grew up to be the big kids…lol
All kids are jerks that even their own parents hate sometimes.
Luckily they live in their own little kid world and when they’re jerks to each other they get over it quickly.
ha. i have no words for this. i have HUGE mama hate {okay lets sugar coat it and call it loathe} for big mean kid bullies. they pick on the little kids and i swear its the mamas fault. swear to it, my kids will NEVER act that way. and the minute they do? no more sweater vests.
seriously though, its a normal feeling. its the mama bear in us {regardless of who the predator is… even the 6 year olds}
Oh, the big kids. Yes, I know what you mean about the big kids. The thing is, of course you can’t throw them off a cliff, but YES you CAN tell them not to push down your baby!!!! “Hi honey, we don’t push at this playground.” “Be careful of the BABY.” “NO PUSHING.” All entirely acceptable. We owe it to our chunks.
I absolutely DESPISE other people’s children, (except the ones that call me “Aunt Tay-zie” and I can get down in their little faces and say “stop rubbing raviolis into the carpet or I will shave your head.”) especially after teaching the little monsters Judo for 8 years.
And worse than those little beasts? MOM and/or DAD. True conversation I had at 17:
“Oh, so you’re Tommy’s teacher?” Me, at 17, getting into my uniform (keep in mind I’m TINY – maybe 5 ft and 110 soaking wet) and yelling at elementary school aged kids.
“You KNOW you’re not supposed to do that! Drop! Right NOW! Yeees, Mrs Tommy’s mom?”
“He’s so excited!”
“So, he looks kinda small for a first grader…?”
“Oh no, our Tommy’s FOUR.”
“He’s too young.”
So this went on, – “he’s too young” “oh, but rec said it’s okay” – the kid was a nightmare, I kept pushing for him to leave and was stuck with him for MONTHS. He was FINALLY formally asked to leave when he punched a visiting instructor FROM JAPAN in the bits.
Moral of the story? Yes, yes yes, MOST big kids are a$$h*les. It’s up to you and B to make sure that G doesn’t become an a$$h*les.
Yes, it’s possible. Really.
my little boy is 18 months and has 2 older step brothers age 8 and 10. the boys love each other and play very well expect when the older kids have play mates over. Then they run away from my little boy and he follows them and cries because they wont play with him……aaaaaaawww this breaks my heart!
I’m screwed, I don’t have kids yet, and still hate everyone else’s children! Wow, just kidding…okay, only 25% kidding
I especially can’t stand my inherited nieces & nephews (husband’s family). I am just convinced that my mom did an awesome job with my family, and I like my bro/sis’s kids because they do things like my mom did…but my SIL does everything opposite of how our family does things, and her “big kids” are mean! They live near my sister’s kids and maul any and all children in their way, including my sweet baby niece. They are big, push, and throw tantrums. Ugh, I’m seeing restraining orders in my future 
This future mama bear feels your pain!
Dude, the first time I took my toddler to a mall playplace (yea, I know…germs, gross, yadda yadda) he got rocked by some big kids who were running around and doing swan dives off of the foam baseball looking contraptions. I looked around and couldn’t find any parents who actually gave a damn other than me. Then I saw one parent who was sitting on the benches on the sides of the death corral quietly reading a book while the other kids battled it our for space on the box of giant foam crayons and I grew insanely jealous. I sort of can’t wait for the day when my kid can be the big kid and he can wreak havoc on the playplace while I read a book and twirl gum. Until then, I hate all the big kids.
I have a very timid, slight little girl who wants nothing else but to be friends with the whole world – she has always been keen to engage with people at every given opportunity. I can’t begin to count how many times she has been smacked in the face by some kid for walking up to them and smiling at them. Seriously, there is something wrong with a child who can’t deal with someone half their size smiling and saying hello to them.
Many a time I have had to hiss in a child’s face to get {the fuck – not said but implied with tone} away from my darling after they have repeatedly targeted her in the playground. There is a huge difference between the kids who are oblivious (a simple ‘WATCH THE BABIES’ as they run past usually fixes it) and the ones who take some delight in finding someone they can shove around and have a power trip on. Some kids are little arseholes and need to be treated correspondingly.
Most of the other kids are little a-holes. I have thought many a similar thought at playgrounds, even at a backyard bbq. It’s our job to teach them not to be a-holes, but mom’s who wear only Luluemon usually don’t care because they are a-holes themselves.
i’m not a mom, but i think i would say something to the other kids. since G is still so little it’s not like you’d “embarrass” him (you know how moms embarrass us). i would just calmly tell the other child…i don’t know something. be aware of how small he is? share? i dunno. something. again, not a mom, just an idea.
My daughter will be 4 in June. So, to G she would be considered a BIG KID, right? She has never once pushed, smacked or otherwise f’ed with a smaller kid on the playground. Why? Because we teach her not to be an asshole. It’s pretty simple. I despise kids who do that shit… she has gotten knocked down and pushed and it makes me all Hulk Momma. And, the parents either sit there and watch and do NOTHING or they are not paying attention in the first place. Your anger is justified, IMO.
You are totally a SAINT! I don’t know how you controlled yourself and didn’t yell at those brats. I don’t have kids yet but I teach in a 4, 5, 6 building and am SO overprotective of my 4th graders, I’m going to be a maniac when I’m a mom.
This is groundbreaking. Hubs and I debate on “should we have kids if we hate other children”. I have no children.. but those 5 feet dinosaur kids at the mall wearing squeakers piss me off. And the ones at the restaurant using the booth as an obstacle course. Sit down snot nose!!
Oh man, was that little girl’s name Joan? Seriously, a few years back we were watching my niece and encountered the big kid brat. She pushed my niece aside on the STAIRS to the slide. I wasn’t having it. I wasn’t a parent yet, so I didn’t care for the rules. I asked her nicely to please be careful because my niece was smaller, and she had to wait her turn. She took that as a challenge to follow us around wherever we went and be a thorn in my side the rest of the time we were there. So anytime she interacted with us, we flat out ignored that little spawn of Satan. “Excuse me? Miss?” IGNORE. Still to this day, when my husband and I encounter a pushy child, we call that child Joan. And then we scream, “EMPUJAME MARIA!” because naturally, Joan screamed orders at her Latina caregiver the entire time who was too busy talking about the Real Housewives of Arlington VA. And it was atrocious.
That’s pretty much the only kid I ever hated. But yeah, BIG KIDS suck. Until my little sweetheart becomes one. And then, watch yourself.
It’s not the kids… it’s the PARENTS or rather lack of parenting. If the parents would get off the damn bench and actually raise their children instead of letting them be wild beasts we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. I was in Forsyth Park (Savannah) a few weeks ago with my niece and nephew and there was not one damn adult even near the playground. None. Also, there were mostly older elementary aged kids on the playground. They were running up the slide instead of going down it like I kept insisting my kids do. They were pushing kids out of the way and/or flat out telling them that they couldn’t play on this because they were already there. WRONG. I was so mad. It took everything I had to not discipline every last one of them, time-outs and all. ARGH.
Poor baby G! Teach him a round house kick to the face so he can rule the playground and keep you out of jail!
Just found your blog and I’m loving it! And yes, big kids are my mortal enemy(and their lazy sit on the bench on my phone and completely ignore the situation parents, yes I have some pent up feelings about this!) I do not have the soft heart for them like you do, though. I yell.
here’s example A
http://www.thegreenmother.com/2011/10/i-have-confession.html
That should make you feel better. Don’t judge me too harshly, ok?
I have demon nephews around the same age as my son and they’re super assholes and yes, I hate them. They gang up on him and plot to make him cry and I want to punch them in their stupid faces and tell them that their nike tracksuits are not high fashion. My friends think I’m crazy – because, as a mother, how could you possibly feel this way – but I really don’t like kids. I like mine . . . most of the time . . . ok, sometimes . . . but everyone else, just keep your kids to yourself.
When you mentioned tracksuits I immediately pictured the kids from The Royal Tenenbaums beating up little kids!
Hmmm… So if I feel that way about my dog at the dog park, I should probably get a grip before I try being a parent, right?? I honestly ran over to my dog, who yelped as he was being pounced on and completely dominated by a labradoodle… We left immediately and haven’t been back since.
My kids-to-be have a long, lonely and sterilized road ahead!
We have an indoor jumpy castle place here and I took my daughter for the first time when she was about 18 months. It was the middle of the summer, so shortly after we arrived a van pulled up and an entire daycare worth of BIG KIDS came storming into the place. She was still small enough that I had to be in the jumpy castles with her, but these kids were ruthless! They stomped on her, pushed her down, yelled in her face – it was awful. I finally lost it, but tried to maintain my composure, so through clenched teeth I said semi-loudly, “Please be careful for my daughter. She is still just a baby!” I swear to you, it was like those kids suddenly remembered they were humans and not stampeding wildebeasts and they became the most amazing, well behaved children on the planet. They kicked me out of the jumpy castles and took turns holding my daughter’s hand, helping her down the slides, and catering to her every whim. I was so impressed that I tracked down their chaperones and gushed to them for entirely too long about how amazing those kids were. They just needed a (not so) gentle reminder!
OH! I totally feel you. I took my daughter with me to a baby shower this past weekend and one of the kids there decided to take a bite out of my child’s face. I mean she bit her so hard, the dentist could have made a mold of that child’s mouth. She doesn’t know how close she came to getting tossed across the room.
Luckily it didn’t break the skin but it is bruised.
I may be your cell mate one day .
It does not always get better when they are older. When I brought my 3 1/2 yearold niece to the playground last summer, there were way bigger kids (read: ages 6-12) who were climbing up and down the slide, jumping on everything, and not watching where they were going. DH and I literally had to helicopter her so she wouldn’t get smushed or broken going down the slide. Which she was unable to complete any given number of times because of the kids climbing up that would stop her and then climb over her. Then she would try to do what they were doing, and we had to stop that so she didn’t fall off a ten foot slide.
Of course, our trip got cut short due to my sweet little niece peeing her pants because she wouldn’t go in the port-a-potty and then streaking her pee soaked pants down the slide. Jokes on you big kids! Hope you washed your hands assholes!
My boy is 8 mo old and I don’t fear for the BIG KIDS. I fear for when he’s older b/c he’s already a giant and I would feel so terrible if he hurt a smaller kid on accident. I worry that b/c he’ll probably always be the biggest kid in his class that if he’s not super gentle with everyone that other parents will think he’s a bully, even if he’s not.
Ooooooooh! I loathe other kids. Well, other kids at playgrounds. When Jax was younger (he’s 5 now) I had no problem telling big kids to back off. Usually it was a stern “he was there first and is younger than you. Don’t push him.” or whatever needed to be said. Kids are sort of shocked when an adult that they don’t know calls them out on doing something they know is wrong. If it happens a third time, I tell the parents that their kid is being a brat & that he/she needs to learn how to treat younger children. Seriously. Okay, I’ve only had to do it like twice. Now that Jax is 5, I watch him like a hawk to make sure he isn’t being one of the punks.
I don’t hate Big Kids. In fact, I teach those kids. You know who I do hate though? Their parents. There is a SERIOUS lack of parenting/supervision going on. I expect a lot from the students in my class when it comes to being respectful and conscientious of others. And they are GOOD at it. You should see the compassion! The caring!
But then…
Any time we have a school function (I work in a small, private, hippie school where we have things like potlucks and parent breakfasts) in which I am not responsible for the children’s behavior, they go insane. Because their parents aren’t supervising them AT ALL. They turn into nasty, evil, out of control hellions, and it really makes me dread the day. Kids are not bad. But they are also kids, and they still need our guidance.
In your situation, I probably would have said something to the little girl (politely). But, like you, I also would have helped her tie her shoes. Then I would probably have tried to figure out who her parent was, and if I had the balls, politely ask them to supervise their children.
while i totally get pissed at the big kids when they’re assholes to my little man, i get even more pissed at their parents. yes, i definitely get that when your child is old enough to play independently without constant fear that they’ll wander off or hurt themselves you shouldn’t feel the need to helicopter over them. HOWEVER, is it too much to ask that you keep half an eye in their general direction so that if/when inappropriate behavior pops up (which it will, since as you put it so eloquently, these are just little people trying to learn how to act–asshole-ness is completely age appropriate) you can jump in with a little correction?
Wow…. that’s insane. I don’t have kids yet, but I think I would feel exactly the same. I might even push the BIG KID when no one was looking. And if he told on me, I would just say the kid is imaging things, and you know, big kids ALWAYS lie.
YIKES! I’m now a little scared of many of you. Of course we are most protective of our own. We love them and want to protect them from everything.
My girls are 5 & 7– big kids. They are sweet and I do watch them when we go to a playground – -and leave if “big kids” come that seem a little out of control with no supervision — which happens often if there is a soccer/baseball game going on. Unfortunately at the playground you will always encouter bigger kids and as they get bigger, they seem to get meaner. Those kids that don’t seem to pay attention to the toddlers turn into kids that are really doing things maliciously. And sometime the tweens come around saying really inappropriate things.
In the end, as the mom of “big kids”, I just want to get my girls outside to run around and burn off some energy so they will go to bed and I can watch my DVR’d Watch What Happens Live. I don’t want them to hurt anyone. Can’t we all just get along?
We were at our park once and the BIG kids had taken over. There were lots of little ones running around. I snapped at a few BIG kids in front of their parents when the BIG kids were climbling up the slide and cutting in front of my daughter. I said “hey big kids…the little kids are watching you. Be carfeful and be aware of your surroundings” I said this loud enough so the Real Housewives of my playground could aknowledge their kids were beign destructive Nazi’s. Stupid BIG kids.
I believe that parents shouldn’t have to stand over their kids every second, how else are they going to learn? Seeing BIG KIDS around my 2 year old makes my heart go into my throat, even if they aren’t bothering them.
I really just want to say — I hate children. Just because I have one doesn’t mean I automatically like kids & want to be around them. And while a parent doesn’t need to be a hawk, or helicopter, around their kids, they should at least teach them basic respect before they let them walk out the front door.
I’m going to recommend you pull out your teacher voice and glare the next time you go to a park. Not the ‘i’m going to kill you’ glare, but the ‘you will not get a puddin’ snack if you so much as look at G again’ look.
ha. I’m just like you. If anyone DARES to hurt or let alone PUSH through my child-my momma bear instincts come out and it takes everything in me to not freak out and cut someone. I can’t help it. So I pretty much hover over them like I’m a steel bubble of protection. I mean, my 10 year old-whatever. But my 3 year old little girl? Anyone who pushes her or hurts her WILL DIE.
I was at a Pump N’ Jump (a.k.a. Hell in a strip mall) and my five year old was knocked over by a big kid. She hit her head. I should have been arrested for what I said to that man child. It’s a primal instinct to protect our young. And, it takes a village-slash-every other cliche.
http://bitchinsisters.wordpress.com/2012/03/01/pinterest-duet-part-1/
I could have written this! I have three kids and ALWAYS have my eyes on them. They are the push-ees rather than the pushers, but if they WERE the pusher, I would apologize and tell them to apologize, and we’d leave. Done.
It is not just you!! I cant stand other kids when it comes to playgrounds or bounce houses or anything that involves my tiny kids being trampled. I send my husband to the parks now because im plotting on the other kids within a few minutes of arriving..i dont know what im going to do when my kids are the big kids
When I was pregnant, everytime I would hear a child screaming, crying, whailing in public I would give the mom side eye and say not very nice things to my husband that may have gone along the lines of “that child needs to be spanked or needs to shut the f up”. Then and there I thought maybe I shouldn’t be having a child. I still do it to this day, even when I’m out with my kid and I still think maybe I shouldn’t be a mom. I just get so aggrevated with children misbehaving.
I think that we are all born assholes who don’t know better until our parents teach us right from wrong. Adult assholes clearly have bad parents. I can still be an asshole but only to someone who’s an asshole first.
Yep. I hate all other kids but my own.
I mean, as humans and shit we’re all supposed to be “oohhh a baby, how ADORABLE”, but in reality we’re really thinking that no way in the 7th circle of hell does that child compare to the awesomeness that is MY CHILD.
Its just how mom’s are I think.
And believe me when I say, I have wanted to gut punch children before. Square in the pelvis. Just for having a nasty snot face, or for yelling too loudly, or just being ugly dammit.
I mean NO KIDS are ever going to be as completely adorable in every way possible as your own.
You can only hope that the kid’s parent(s) is/are watching and will discipline them. I have been in situations where the offending kid’s parent was MIA (aka, talking to a friend on a bench and not watching their kid at all), and I had to be “the adult” and calmly say, “That isn’t your ball, that’s ours, and we’d like it back.” It’s tempting to yell or say what you really want to (GTF outta here!), but you can’t. Even if they are “big kids”, they are still children, and they don’t know any better unless they are taught. And if their parents aren’t teaching them by example, maybe you can.
Wait, are we not supposed to yell at other people’s kids? Shit, why didn’t anyone tell me this before my 3rd kid? I’ve yelled at kids who were fighting with each other, not even near my own kids. I’ve chased big-big kids off the play equipment when they were being little assholes, too.
Holy snarkies! Let me first say that I am sooo glad I read this post and all the comments! My little girl is 17 months and it is finally starting to get warm enough to go outside (f’ing Ohio), so we are just getting into playground season. Since I am new to this whole mom thing, I had NO IDEA about all this playground ettiquette stuff. I am already a nervous-nellie-germaphobe. I can only imagine how I will be this summer. I may join you in prison for opening said can of whoop-ass on some little turd.
See you there
I dislike children on a very grand level. And I have child. I’m lucky enough to have one of those almost big kids (3.5) but he’s a nice big kid. He’s the big kid that would play with G & help him back up if someone pushed G down. He’s just a nice kid.
At the playground recently my big kid was running about playing with one twin of a washed up 90′s actor when my son tried to include the other brother in the game the kid literally screamed at him “GET AWAY I DON”T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU” and my poor big hearted big kid just stood their. It took everything I had not to get up and push that kid down into the sand. And I still see him at random mom/kid things and burning hot in my soul is a fire of hate for this kid.
Kids are asshats they really are.
The Death Stare. The one that promises immediate annihilation, regardless of the location of their mother. It is a necessity when dealing with older kids. My guy is 14 months and it’s just now warm enough for the playground so I’ve had to use it a few times. Granted, I may be a bit overprotective (I don’t think I’m alone in this) but I sure as hell won’t tolerate some 7 year old knocking my kid down. That kid got a quietly whispered “You do that again and I’ll break your legs” because he laughed like a loon when my kid started crying. That scared him enough he stayed well enough of us the rest of the time and eyed me warily. I’m damn determined my kid will not be one of those assholes.
I am not above reminding a big kid to be careful. The Bigs Kids don’t bother me as much as the Big Big Kids who are as rough as the Big Kids. A few years before my kids were born I was at a playground with my nephew, he was probably two at the time. The Big Kids were doing their thing but I was watching my nephew close enough that they didn’t bother me. The Big Big Kids, however, were running around like crazy and one of them was even riding a small bike on the levels! They had walked to the playground by themselves so their parents were no where to be found. About the third time they passed me I stopped the one on the bike and, using my best quiet, scary voice, said, “You need to be careful around all these little kids. Get that bike off of here now because if you run into my kid you will regret it.” Maybe a little over the top but I feel it was a well measure reaction given the circumstances. There is a time and a place to be a Mama Bear and the playground in certainly one of those places.
That was freakin hilarious. I have really big kids(teens) and I could relate to this. Yes it’s completely normal and acceptable to hate all others than your own! But as some of the commenters point out…you’ll be MOBK in no time at all. Then you can sit on the bench and be all fun and judgy cuz your kid is now big and independent…look forward to that time. It’s the littlefish/bigfish cycle for years until they grad high school and get the hell out!
I can’t offer any advice here, but I had to leave a comment to tell you that was the funniest shit I’ve read in a loooong time.
I had a similar situation with my Goddaughter, Natilee, at a Chuck E. Cheese for her second birthday. Her mother had always taught her to say “sorry,” “please,” and “thank you.” To this day, if she THINKS she has bumped into you she’ll say sorry. Anyway, back to the loud, awful restaurant full of child assholes… We were playing with her at a machine that was lower to the ground and she was having a blast. This little girl, like not even 2 yet, comes over and just pushes Natilee down to the ground and cuts in to start playing with the machine. Her mother instantly said, “No,” and moved the girl away from the machine and picked Natilee back up and let her play at the machine again. Meanwhile, the little girl’s mother – who was there with SIX other kids – sees the entire thing go
I hate pretty much all kids that aren’t my own. Mostly because most parents are raising heathens. But I will tell you one thing- if my 6 year old knocked over anyone, I would drag her ass back to apologize. I have an eagle eye on both of my kids all of the time and I know what’s going on at all times. But I’m sorry- part of bringing your kids to the park is to get physical exercise, but the other (bigger) part is to help learn how to socialize with other kids. It’s not OK to knock kids over and refuse to not take turns, and it’s not OK for parents not to step in. Also more alarming? Is that kids will act like brats in front of adults. I remember being little and if an adult was around, regardless of who they are, I was on my BEST behavior. Because adults carried a bit of authority, and that isnt’ the case anymore.
I’m actually worried my boy is going to be one of those dreaded BIG KIDS…he’s only 9 months and he’s already kind of a brute. He yells a lot, throws his toys and challenges me with with his eyes all the freaking time. I tried giving him a toy hammer the other day…yeah, that won’t happen again.
I have a sister who is 13 years younger than me; she is 13 and has just gotten a Facebook. Here are some facts about tweens and Facebook:
1) They are so ham-fisted about everything.
2) They are snots.
So, one of the girls who was BFFS with my sister for her ENTIRE life is a year older than her, and she has become a total teen snot. My otherwise unassuming sister tries to do normal FB friend things (like “like” her posts) and this other girl just says the snottiest things. I have had to seriously restrain myself from verbally eviscerating this other teen (which would make me the ultimate mean girl). And I am good at verbally eviscerating other people; it is a skill that is hard-won from years of unfortunate tween unattractiveness and being in a workplace with 25 year old boys. But I have to remember that this is her life, and that I can probably ruin that other little snot’s life a lot faster than that snot can ruin hers. Which would make me a terrible person.
But still, it’s so damn hard to watch her go through that hurt. She told me a few weeks ago that she didn’t think that other girl liked her anymore, and I was so sad for her. Being the bigger person is for the birds, yo.
Ooohhhhh . . . It is what I fear more than big kids at the playground. Snotty tween to teen girls. Per Oprah, every mom of girls should read Queen Bees and wanna Bees — or something close to that. My oldest is in first grade and I think I already have to get it. Girls are learning really young to be B***y to each other. So sad . . .
My husband is in the military, and is tall and handsome and pretty intimidating… anyway, he took our daughter to the mall play place while he was in uniform when she was almost two, during after school hours (aka, scary sweaty big kid time). A little boy (maybe six years old?) smacked my daughter across the face, no reason, just walked up and smacked her. My husband almost shit himself. He grabbed the kids arm and yelled- WHOSE SON IS THIS?? Everything fell silent, parents, kids, everyone stopped and looked- and a petrified woman walked up to my husband to claim her kid. He said to her, “don’t ever let me see you here again” (as if we would ever take our child there again after that nonsense). The lady said okay and immediately left.
I was so proud of my husband for standing up for our daughter, but I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of him standing in the middle of the mall, in uniform, yelling at other parents. Good times. That daughter is now six and is a big kid, but she would never push a baby down, we raised her to know better. That is a parenting issue.
HOLY MODG. I know that feeling. My child is now a “Big Kid” and I’ll be damned if I let him do that crap. Thank goodness he LOVES little kids and is shy…he actually tries to help the little ones and will call me to help if he thinks they are in danger. Gotta love it.
BUT WAIT
There is something worse then Big Kids…
THE BIGGER KIDS. These are the 8-12 year olds that come to the playground and use equipment designed for the 2-5 year old lot. They knock down the Big Kids and say “bad words” and tease and are rude to the adults. These usually have parents that could care less about being alive, much less taming their hellspawn. God I hate when they show up.
Dude, I have a BIG KID (5 year old) and a little so I’m like on the fence. In public playgrounds/play areas, my BIG would never dare push anyone around, in fact, he’s the one that lets everyone else go first and gets out of the way. He generally plays nice with other kids, so I like to think that we’ve taught him well
.
The little one is opposite…he may be petite (only 22lbs at 18mo!), but kid will run you over/push and shove if it means getting to play where he wants to. I’m worried he will become THAT KID. We’re all about teaching him about “gentle hands” and “playing nice” right now. I mean he swats at his big brother with toys and isn’t afraid to do it. Our daycare people say he does fine with the other kids, but I’ve seen him exhibit a mean streak and me no likey. When it does happen and he isn’t being nice to another toddler, I apologize to the parents right away and pull my kid out for a bit, and let him know that it’s not ok to do that. I can only hope that he understands somewhat.
My biggest pet peeve nowadays is that parents don’t teach kids manners…whatever happened to asking nicely if they can play next or saying excuse me?
This is my biggest battle right now because my son R is 18 months and DESPERATELY wants to be a “big kid.” Just this past weekend my cousin had her little boy’s first birthday party and there were about 15 kids older than R (most of whom I didn’t know). Trying to be the laid back cool mom I let him go play with them keeping a watchful eye (the only one keeping a watchful eye). About ten minutes into R playing with the rest of the kids I see a trainwreck happening in super slow motion. A five year old is not paying attention and about to run over R, on the cement, full speed ahead. Before I can even get the words out of my mouth R is screaming in tears with a big mark on his head. Everything stopped for about ten seconds – the kids running, the talking,my heart, the whole damn party. And as all the fury was building inside me I had to keep reminding myself it would be alright. Then I heard a little tiny voice say “is Roman ok?” and the little girl who ran him over was almost in tears too. I felt bad, worse than bad – I felt like the worst mom on the planet. That little girl didn’t get run over but she probably felt worse than my son who cried for two minutes and then wanted to join back in the “fun.” And then THAT is when it hit me – why the other parents weren’t watching every step and second those kids were together. Because they kids weren’t in any real danger. No one left their car keys and said “hey have fun” and there weren’t any large sharp tools left out to start cutting off body parts. Accidents happen and kids learn from it – and so do parents. It doesn’t make it easier to see it happen or to trust that it won’t – but you’re absolutely right, for the most part “big kids” are just trying to figure it out too.
I must be the outlier. I generally think kids from 5 up are pretty good and patient with toddlers. They are just getting out of the super impulsive phase and occasionally make mistakes but by and large, they are pretty good.
Unfortunately I live near a sibling pair of big kids that violate everything I just said. Last summer, my newly walking 1 year old was standing in a wading pool when the two entered the backyard to visit my own big kid. The 5 year old became angry the baby was in the wading pool so he ran over to my son and shoved him over.
My big kid was so angry at the treatment of her baby brother, she yelled at them and kicked them out of our garden.
I loathe “Big Kids.” My daughter is 3, and we pretty much avoid popular play areas because of them. Also, the parents are douches. They sit there ignoring what is going on (playing on their phones and whatnot). That irritates me like no other. Pay effing attention to your kids! UGH It’s so not cool!
I have 5 kids, who I adore. But other people’s kids? They smell funny, they act funny, they aren’t as smart, they don’t have that “spark” or real intelligence in their eyes.
(I know that isn’t all true, but that’s how it appears to me when I’m in mama mode).
to be totally fair you were only hating on the kids hurting G so you were fully warranted in your vision to attack them and take ‘em down! Good work at the self control thing – I need to learn that for when I have children of my own. I once bitched out a girl for feeding my dog doritios without asking me first… most uncomfortable day of kayaking ever!
Dude. I saw these kids last weekend. I had to keep reminding myself that the kids weren’t assholes – their parents were. We were at a festival at a fairground with a park and all the little heathens were just dropped off while the parents were off drinking beer. Nothing against beer, but when your child is digging a tunnel under the rock wall, you should intervene. Or maybe when the kid climbing on top of the tunnel slide is kicking kids in the face someone should say something. I was totally outnumbered and we had to run for our lives.
Uh, yeah. Other kids are A-holes. HATE IT when they are mean or pushy toward my kids.
Nope. I always blame it on the parents. If my son gets hit at the park, or pushed or whatever, I turn around and give the parents stink-eye. If my son pushed or hit anybody under my eye you better believe I will be there reprimanding him.
But, when ever I see other little boys I ALWAYS think “oh my son is waaaay cuter, and smarter”
It’s true, once you have your own kid you hate other peoples kids. The only kids that may stand a chance are the kids of your best friends, but even then it’s only your BEST friends kids because sometimes people that are just kinda friends fall in to the “other peoples kids” category. And don’t even get me started on other peoples kids with snot on their faces! UGH
Focus on G’s reaction and not yours. Doesn’t sound like he cried, that he was hurt, etc. He was probably just taking it in and learning from it. Don’t rob him of those learning opportunities. You can’t protect them from everything, and why would you want to? Some big kids are mean. Some adults are mean. You have to learn to deal with it, and might as well start learning now (or he will be in a world of hurt when you can’t be stepping in at the slightest thing).
Oh welcome to motherhood and playground ugliness. I seriously get pissed off when we are at playgrounds that are for specific age groups, and there are 10 year olds stomping all over the little kids while their moms are off to the side on their iphones playing words with friends and not supervising at all.
I have been known to make a super loud comment such as “I am sorry you are crying because we have to leave, but its dangerous when the big kids keep knocking you over” as we pass the moms. It has to be done.
I read your blog all the time. I am one of those stalkers that never comments. Usually I am changing my underwear after peeing while reading your blog…..that’s why I don’t comment!!! Anyway….I couldn’t leave this one alone. I avoid the playgrounds at “peak” times for this reason. I have HORRIBLE “playground rage”. Mamma Bear takes over, and I want to strangle every “big kid” there. My oldest daughter (3) has Autism, and it’s horrible going to a playground with her. You wouldn’t know she is autistic by just looking at her, and that creates a whole new set of problems. She got pushed off a slide at the park by a big kid, and I let the big kid have it. His mother was there, but doing nothing so I took the matter in my own hands. I finally said “Macie, I’m sorry but we have to leave before you get hurt. This playground is intended for toddlers, but the big kids don’t seem to understand.” His mother heard this and said “what did he do?”. I told her what he did, and went on my way.
There needs to be Playground Rent-A-Cops, or something of that nature. No! I take that back! Parents need to get their heads out of their rectums and watch their friggin’ kids.
LOVE your blog.
So spot on! I have Big Kids now plus a preschooler so my time at the park is divided between making sure the Big Kids aren’t being punks and the preschooler isn’t being accosted by other Big Kids. Constant battle.
I will SO be that mom…the one saying mean things to the kids pushing her own kid. It’s not pretty, but at least I accept myself. I once advised a couple of girls that it was impolite to stare after they watched my sister and I eat our pizza. Both my sister AND their mother were mortified. Oh well, should have taught your kids some manners!
I think about this every time we go to the mall play area. Then I think, in 5 years I’m going to have a 7 year old and I know that I will let her play here because what else do you do with a restless 7yo? I know my kids will be big kids someday. Sigh.
Whoa. My son is 11.9 months old (1 on Monday, sad) so we are slowly reaching the era of dealing with Big Kids. I am terrified. But mostly I am fascinated with that playgroud – if I didn’t already get married I would totally have my wedding there.
A friend told me she pities the person who ever even looks at my son wrong. I’m afraid it is an accurate fear. What the hell will I do when some kid hurts my sweet angel? God, I may need therapy now while he’s only 12 months old just to prepare myself. I am a former preschool teacher, I never, never, never thought I would hate a kid, but it has happened a few times already. I feel your pain.
Remember the olden days when the neighbors down the street would tell your parents if you were stomping on their roses? Or, the lady who lived a couple of streets over would yell at you to stop teasing the neighbor’s dog? Remember the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”… I’m a huge proponent of teaching other children manners if their parents don’t. That includes teaching them to be more aware of their surroundings and how their behavior effects others. No, you can’t expect a 5 year old to behave appropriately all the time but there’s nothing wrong with reminding them how to behave and correcting them. In a perfect world I would’ve told that kid to apologize to my child for pushing him. But… I understand your instincts. I think it’s great that you thought about it later and are considering all the sides. Next time I bet you’ll react differently.
I hate BKs. Particularly ones with hot moms. Hot moms never supervise their shitpants kids. It’s like they’re still in 11th grade and they don’t have to do their homework because the Algebra teacher secretly wants his wang slobbered on by Slutty Sarah and her Victoria’s Secret lip plumpling lip gloss.
They’re all awful. Then they stop being awful long enough to make you think- IT’S OVER! PRAISE JESUS! Pow, just when you feel good about your parenting prowess, you get knocked on your mom butt.
I support your feelings of rage. One time, a kid threw sand at my 3 year old and I wanted to kick him in the shins then throw him off the tallest slide and into a pit of bubbling hot lava. I still harbor those feelings and *might* act on them if any Hot Person offspring sling verbal or environmental mud at my kid EVER AGAIN.
DO YOU HEAR THAT, BIG KIDS. EVER AGAIN.
In fairness, I will also take away my own kid’s iPhone if they ever misbehave *eyeroll*
Your blog is always right in line with what I am thinking but never relize that everyone else feels the same!!
The day some “big kids” made my 18 m son cry at McDonald’s playground was the first day I stood up and yelled at another persons’ child… And then got yelled at by that mother and am still furious by the event 7 years later.
Now an owner of a big and little (and medium) kids I try to be fair in yelling at both mine, when he does something asshole-ish, and other peoples’ kids when they do something to my littlest…
I have four kids who are now big kids and I used to be wary of the big kids when mine were little. Then I made the paradigm shift to not being afraid to speak up and set limits if these kids were getting out of hand. I am an unschooling/holistic mom and like kids, and am not overly strict, and I will simply give them a mild mom look and say “there’s a small child here, please be careful.” And they do. Now that my kids are “big kids” and include two “big boys” I am also aware of the challenge of impulse control, so I have a bit more compassion too toward big kids who might be perfectly sweet angels by themselves but who get rowdy when around their peers. I will still intervene if they are overdoing it in a little kid zone.
Teens who treat me like I’m invisible though… those I am working on not loathing. Maybe it’s because my kids are used to interacting with adults and make eye contact with everyone and are pretty nice to everyone, but I have no patience with teens who act like snots. However, I’ve also observed adults treating *them* like they are invisible, so maybe they are not entirely to blame. I’m working on squelching that instinct in myself and trying to make eye contact and treat them like I would want adults to treat my teens – giving them the benefit of the doubt. It is slow going.
I think it is totally normal to go all mama bear on the big kids at the playground. At least G is your kid. You get a free pass to act like that. As a nanny, I automatically get stink eye from all the moms. God forbid I try to talk to them after their asshole of a third grader throws the four year old I watch off the monkey bars.
You are not alone. Big Kids are morally bankrupt automatons.
xo
cortnie
One time I went to Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday for a birthday party ( torture). I had no kids at the time, but was playing games with my nieces and nephews. I was playing some game, minding my own business. Some asshole kid came up to me and said ” my turn.” I thought he was rude, but he was the kid and I was an adult playing kid games after all, so I just politely ignored him. He said it again, and this time nudged me. I nicely told him he had to wait his turn. At this point he crawled under my arm and tried to push me out of the way by forcing his way in between me and the machine. I was in total disbelief that this kid was bold enough to shove an adult, and looked around for his parents- nowhere to be found. I locked my legs and arms and tried to resist this kid pushing me on the ground and my husband then looked over, and was like WTF?! I said ” this kid is pushing me! It took everything in me not to shove this little asshole to the ground, but then I’m the loony adult who goes around beating stranger children at Chuck E. Cheese. I got nervous that this kid’s parents would suddenly appear and think I was to blame, and was about to just walk away when the kid gave up and went to torture someone else. Now that I have a baby of my own, bet your ass I would say something more to this little troll than I did that day. I don’t feel its my place to discipline stranger’s children, but when it affects me or someday my kid, bet your ass I’ll be telling those BIG KIDS who’s boss. Oh, and as we left that day, asshole kid was throwing a tantrum at the ticket counter because the lady told home he didn’t have enough tickets for some cheap ass toy. Loser.
It’s my first time reading this blog. I’m not trying to be negative because your story was very funny, and I could relate, but as a mother of a BIG KID, I feel like I need to stand up to all the BIG KID haters on here. First of all mothers of BIG KIDS wonder why mothers of little kids bring their babies to the playground and let them slobber all over the place unsupervised. I know that BIG KIDS can be rough, and when I take my son to the playground I watch him the whole time. I watch out for the little ones and I make my son apologize if accidentally bumps someone or knocks them down, but sometimes the little ones are just in places where they shouldn’t be yet. That’s why they have toddler playgrounds. I once had a mother of a little kid let her child toddler right in front of the swings on which my BIG KID was swinging, and then complain when her child almost got kicked. I wanted to say, “WHY WOULD YOU LET YOUR CHILD WALK THERE?” But instead, I chose the more socially acceptable response of, “Watch out for the little ones sweetie.” Smile (Gag, Gag).
All this to say that it goes both ways. As you said at the end of your post, they are ALL just kids, and hopefully the parents are teaching them to not act like animals.
I hate taking the twins to the mall play place sometimes. The BIG KIDS are little jerks ! I watch their parents sit on their butts and play with their phones or talk to each other. I sit there too but if I am alone, then I take pictures or watch my boys. If I am with a friend, I will get up in the middle of a sentence to tend to my boys. I have loudly asked “Where is your Mom ? You shouldn’t be doing that !” and I have even gone to security. There is a height limit and I won’t get out a yardstick but if those BIG KIDS are being horrible and endangering my kids – then I say something. My boys are 2 and they are pretty good at holding their own but when a BIG KID jumps off the top of a mountain slide it can catch a little guy off guard. I almost never bring them there on a weekend and I hate school holidays. We try to go at odd times during the day when the BIG KIDS are supposed to be at school. I don’t wish them harm but I will scold other children if they are mean to my kids !
Oh, MODG, I wish I could tell you it gets better when they’re older, but the innate meanness of BIG KIDS just warps itself to produce soccer bullies, and amusement park line jumping evil princesses. Mine are 6 and 9 and I still feel like throwing someone else’s precious offspring into a box hedge at least once a week.
My first experience with this was at an Easter egg hunt 8 years ago when BIG KIDS swarmed my little one year old at his first hunt and STOLE all of the eggs from his basket. He was not a coordinated toddler and it had taken him an hour to find 8 Mfing eggs and they were gone in 6 seconds of a BIG KID blitzkrieg. MURDER! Except I didn’t. I just inwardly seethed, ignored the illbred heathens and had myself an extra large Easter lunch cocktail. I realized later that they weren’t the cast from Children of the Corn, but it took a while. Remember the high road MODG.
Your not alone, I have a 2 & 5 year old and I pretty much hate all other kids! Kids are mean!! One time I was at the park with my then 3 year old, my sweet boy spotted a group of ‘big kid’ boys playing star wars with matching swords thingys, my son picked up a stick and went over to play with them, when they saw he only had a stick and not the super cool light sabers they had one of the big kids started laughing at him and taunting him with the ol’ ‘you can’t play with us!’. I almost lost my mind!!! I yelled at the boy for being mean and quickly asked for his mother, but being scared of the big mean mommy he just ran away! Other peoples kids suck!!!
I hear ya… what worse is when your very own 6 year old darling boy pushes a dear sweet little two year old girl down… completely on purpose and with no remorse whatsoever. Believe me, it’s worse then when your kid is the victim… then, just in case you weren’t feeling rotten enough, the yoga pants moms in aviators shun you with nasty looks in spite of the many many layers of apology. It’s tough on both sides man…
I’m “that mom” who will tell the little jerks to “be nice” and share and whacked out stuff like that. Kids and parents hate me, but darn it, somebody has to teach these little Tarzan-ish beasts to quit swinging on their vines and wear pants. You Tarzan, I mommy. Kids hate and fear me and it’s awesome.
How did you not tie her f’in shoes together? I find that I like other kids a lot less since having my own.
Ya know as a mom of 5 I’ve been there done that and I’ve got the damn spit up stained t-shirt to prove it. There was this one kid one day who was being a complete asshat and the mom and dad was sitting there watching him do it. At this time I was only a mommy of 3 but still. My oldest was minding his own business building a tower of wood chips having a freaking blast when this kid comes up picks up the wood chips and proceeds to throw them in my sons face. That was strike one. I was nice. Strike two and where I got mean was when he kicked him. I’m sorry but if you don’t love your kid to teach them manners or to even discipline them then please do us all a favor and close your legs
or take advantage of obamas free birth control bs.
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