B and I have had our girl named picked out for a long time. Actually we had a lot of names picked out for a long time. Like Harper. And then my ex-boyfriend, sorority sister and Posh Spice all named their baby Harper. So that died a quick death. And I’m scared to say that our beloved and magically agreed upon new name is on life support. It’s foaming at the mouth and smells of rot.
No, I’m not going to tell you what it is. But I will tell you that it’s not like Penelopoop or Labia. I promise. My family reads this blog and I do not need any more opinions. Yeah, I said mo’ opinions. Because last night I made the mistake of asking an anonymous group of internet strangers what they thought about the name. And they tore my asshole open with a pair of hot pliers. Seriously.
Like not just, “yeah that name isn’t the best”. It was more like “you are stupid horrible people for even considering that name”. Now if anyone knows the internet, it’s me. And yes I know people on the internet develop mob mentality and act a fool’s fool when asked an opinion. I know no one would say that to my face. Especially if they didn’t want a fist of spiders shoved down their throat. Just kidding, I would never touch spiders.
So now you’re curious about the name. I’ll tell you these things: People say it’s masculine…more masculine than I thought it was. People say that it’s not “pretty” for a girl. People say that it’s more of a name of a street, a building, a football player, a hemorrhoid than it is for a girl. And I’ll be honest, this totally surprised me.
B and I love this name. Like really love it. And I’m literally heartbroken that it’s so hated. But then I think, the first time someone used the name Alice in like 1765 people were probably like CRIMENY! THAT BE A WITCH NAME! BURN HER! Maybe people just don’t like different?
But is the name really about what we want? It’s about this little girl that’s coming into the world. I want her to love her name and be proud of it. I’ve always like names that were a little different. Like not Blue Ivy but not Melissa Smith either. My mom told me that I was *almost* Aja (said like Asia). I know! I think I would have loved that name. I think it suits me. And she told me that she regrets caving into her friends and family who told her it was a dumb name.
(Later we named a cat Aja and it pooped on all of our pillows and smushed it in with it’s butt. I would not have done that. Just saying.)
So if I don’t use our name, will I regret it? If I do use our name, will she regret it?
Under deep pressure, we did come up with a backup name. It’s a cute name. It’s a tiny dot different but nothing crazy and I’m ok with it. B is ok with it too. But it’s not THE name.
But again, I’m not naming ANOTHER gummy lizard. This is a person. She will have to live with this name through every classroom, every job application, every first date and every Grammy acceptance. I can’t make a mistake here.
How much of this is caring too much what other people think and how much is not caring enough what our daughter will think? I just don’t know. For now we’ll have our little list of names and bring them to the hospital and it will eat away at me for the next 3 months until maybe she writes all posession style on the inside of my uterus what name SHE would like. But until that happens, I will feel obsessed with this. And B will roll his eyes again every time I bring it up and mumble something about the cost of colleges again.
I know it’s hard to help a sister out when I won’t tell you the name. Don’t go searching the internet either, I deleted that shit for stalkers like you.
Ok just kidding. It actually IS Penelepoop.
MODG and forever Yoshe.
This post was brought to you by the awesome and amazing people at Honest Tea. Who for no other reason than being awesome have been sending me lovely beverages for months now. This was way before they wanted to advertise with us. They are a smaller company than you would think and really care about their customers. I always remember that when I’m shopping for stuff.
Specifically they have been sending me Honest Ade, which isn’t tea, it’s all organic, no high fructose corn syrup all under 100 calories and not too punch me in the face sweet. After being forced to chug an ocean of water a day, it’s been SO nice to have these to drink. We don’t do soda or juice in our house, but this we ALL love. I’m even cool with G having some. And now they have a new kids line.
And the awesome people over there want to give away 3 cases to our readers. I’ll be picking 3 winners from the comments. To enter all you have to do is leave an honest comment about the name post today and fan them on facebook. Oh check out their new ad campaign. I really do love these people.