Hello and welcome to the 2nd holiday edition of “Stuff I Like”. I also call this, the time where I pretend to be Ellen/Oprah (Elrah) and you pretend to care. It’s a great time of the year.
In this series, I do a post on the stuff I want, stuff B wants and stuff the kids wants. It helps you buy gifts and spend your money carelessly. That’s what friends are for.
I’m starting with my list and I feel the need to share this disclaimer: I have been pregnant for 43 years, I haven’t put on non pajamas in 3 weeks, my dark circles match my hair color and I really couldn’t tell you anything happening in the world that E news isn’t reporting. With that being said, my list may reflect my current state of being. Gone are the days where I’m posting the cutest Marc Jacobs bag and now I’m posting a waterproof diaper bag and food processor. Apologies to cool people everywhere.
I know this picture is small. Click on it for the bigness. These leggings (I’m told) are the best for post pregs. They have a wide waistband and come up high enough to suck in your sag parts. And let’s be honest, I clearly haven’t worn enough leggings in the past 9 months, so I need MORE MORE MORE LEGGINGS. Right now I care about being comfortable and not a heinous beast. Ok, 1 out of 2 isn’t bad. Also: CHEAP. Get them, thank me.
Longchamp expandable travel bag (big ass diaper bag)
Oh lovely expandable waterproof diaper bag. How I long for you. My super cute leather bag isn’t cutting it anymore. It’s a super bag, but for the likes of 2 kids in cloth diapers who need shit like bananas and bibs, I need this. I keep posting it hoping that some benefactor out there will gift it to me because they want to. That stuff happens right? I mean in our lives, the cost of this is totally not realistic for a diaper bag. But I can dream. And the richies out there can get it and rub it in my face.
Bach Flower Remedies
You’ve heard me talk about Bach Rescue Remedy before. Bach has many many “remedies” as the fancy homeopathic people call them. They are essences that cure ailments. For example, I’m taking the Mustard remedy now to “bring back joy and cheerfulness when gloom descends for no obvious reason” i.e. post partum depression. I love how specific the descriptions are on the remedies. They are also super beautiful little tiny magic bottles. I feel like a cobbler in 1765 with my remedies. If I really had my super gifting ways, I’d love the whole set and run a homeopathic business in my front yard. Lemonade stand style. And if you want to get funny about it, get this set for your favorite frienemy. Be all, “I really thought you could use this…”
You can look up ailments here
That is one tiny sexy pumper. Note to self: Take picture in your self pumping bra, naked, with hand on hip and seductive face. Use as facebook profile pic. So yeah, I look at stuff like this on my own wants list and sigh. My life is so far from “martinis”. But dudes, I really want this. Do you know what an ass pain it is to hold the pumps at your boobs while you pump? You can do all sorts of things with this. Pump and ride a horse! Pump and pave your driveway! Pump and Britney dance with a snake around your neck! The options are limitless. Also, pump and take awkward pictures.
One of you guys clued me into this on the MODG facebook page. This is the coolest. It’s a memory card for your camera that has built in wi-fi. So you can upload directly to your computer, or facebook, or twitter, or porn sites in a flash. Also I felt so smart when I told B about this and I knew about it before he did. Thank you MODG readers for making me smart. This is a very cool gift for anyone with a camera.
Let’s chalk this up to the “gifts I’ll never get, but will talk a lot about wanting” category. Oh MacBook Pro. You should be mine. See, I hate ipads. I know, kill me society. But I’m a “writer” (heavy on the quotes), so I like to type. And any “writer” knows that typing on anything touch screen is for baboons. I assume the proper posture that I learned in 1994 typing class and I play dork games like Type Racer. So I want want want a macbook. And don’t give me any of that netbook BS. I have one and I want to throw it at someone’s head. Mainly Taylor Swift.
Dudes, my Magic Bullet finally broke. I think there are like 9 sex toys out there with the same name, but I’m talking food processor. I’ve had mine for TEN years. I’ve had NOTHING for ten years. This thing is closer to me than my cats. I finally broke the damn thing trying to process dates for some homemade Larabars. I’m an asshole. You can buy them at trader joe’s. Whatever. I want a new one like yesterday. If you don’t have one, buy one RIGHT NOW SERIOUSLY DO IT. It will change your life forever. We use ours like twice a day.
As any good hippie, I have classic Toms. I love them more than bacon. Now I’m an advanced hippie and I need advanced Toms. I like these. I like the alien green color and the stitching. But I’m open to other wild Toms. They are the perfect throwing on running out the door shoe and look normal with everything. I say normal because looking “good” is something at this point in my life I’m not really striving for. Again, apologies cool people.
How cool is this? Again, for people who use their camera a lot, this is awesome. It’s such a good gift and so unique and awesome. This is a camera strap. I guess I should have said that. It’s not a horse bit. Or leather whipping tool. Camera strap. That’s all. Love it. Want it.
Finally, what modern mother would be complete without initial necklaces of her kid’s names? Obviously I need a G and an R. I’ll tell people it’s for Grave Robber. This Etsy seller does them cute and cheap.
sorry there is the link…
And there you have it friends. My super list. Use it and go forth. Those who will like my items may fall into the following categories:
Needs more hobbies mom
My favorite part of these lists though is the comments. So please leave in the comments any awesome items that you are wanting this holiday. Then I can claim it as my own.
Next up is the toddler list. Hold on to your wallets people (B).
The ability to write this post and not (yet) declare bankruptcy was brought to you by the super cuteness at Gigi Hill. I really am wanting this and this right now. You know, for all of my fanciness that I’m doing these days. I didn’t know about this company until they started advertising with me but they have awesome bags and luggage that aren’t balls expensive. Which is definitely my biggest qualifier these days.