I haven’t eaten a grain in 2 months.
Let me say that again except louder so you really get it
I HAVEN’T EATEN A GRAIN IN 2 MONTHS.
These are the only creatures on earth that could get me off the wheat train. And the gummy train. And the m&m bus.
Let me break that down for you: no rice, no wheat, no oats, no randomhippiemilletbuckweat grain, nothing. I started this with 80% intention of healing my gut and Ruby’s gut and 20% to be healthy and lose baby weight. This is the part when I tell you how awesome it is and how great I feel and how sparkly my girl parts are…or something. And …eh?
I mean, I’ve lost weight for sure. But is it worth cooking FROM SCRATCH every meal, every day during my lone 2 hours of maybe free time while kids sleep? NO. B decided to be supportive and do this with me. So together we decided to do Whole 30. This is a grain, dairy, sugar free diet that starts and ends in 30 days. It’s all fresh foods, nothing from a package. So I’m cooking for both of us. And cooking for G. Unless you can convince a 2 year old to eat cauliflower mashed potatoes and ghee. No? Right. More chicken nuggets.
So lots of you are like, healing your gut? What’s that about? I’ve mentioned it here briefly, but it’s a process of eating easily digestible foods and probiotics to heal leaky intestines. Processed foods for years and years as well as antibiotics can poke tiny holes in your one-cell-thick wall of your intestine, allowing large food chunks to leak into your gut. This can cause big problems for your body. You can read more here. And this is a great NY Times article about leaky gut.
I have to say, it’s pretty awesome of B to jump on board this crazy train with me for support. He knows the nightmare I go through with food stuff while breastfeeding and he’s doing this so I don’t feel alone. And so his pants fit. But mostly to be supportive RIGHT B? Yes, I wish I could eat whatever I want. But the hippie in me tells me that this is all to teach me something. And that something is probably to not cover my nutella in gummy penguins (every day).
So we’re on day 20. B will end in 10 days and I will keep trucking on. You may follow my Pinterest board Gut Healing, where I post recipes and the like of the crap we eat and the crap that I spend hours cooking. Dudes, if you would have told me 5 years ago that I’d be all natural hippie lady cooking foods from scratch during my only free tv watching hours of the day, I would have slapped your face off. But here we are.
Yes, it’s good to be healthy. Yes, it’s good to have normal poops. Yes, it’s good to fit into my jeans. But you know what is also good? Kraft mac and cheese. Also? smores. Also? Pizza from a grease pit Also? fruity pebbles.
And people are like…oh I don’t even crave that stuff anymore. B to the S. I’ve learned a lot about food, but I’ve learned that totally eliminating anything from your diet is asking for trouble.
Now I will say, there was a short period before I got norovirus where I cut out all sugar (including fruit). After 3 days of that, I did not crave sugar anymore. I also wasn’t hungry. Like at all. Also? I got sick. Also? my milk supply went way down. So that had to end.
But here’s what I’ll take from these months of eating whole and fresh and crap:
1) Dairy is sort of not necessary. I know I know, you’re screaming WHAT ABOUT MY CHEEEESE? In every recipe that calls for cheese, I add more salt and that includes all of my italian stuff that I make. Also, coconut milk? AMAZING and a super health food.
2) Anything that calls for flour in a recipe, or breading, or breadcrumbs you can make with almond flour. Just season it if cooking, and use it straight up if baking. Almonds are a super food and it’s a great way to cut carbs.
3) Stop cooking with olive oil or any other liquid oil. If you splurge on one thing, make it coconut oil. It’s a solid. Any time you cook over high temps to fry, use a solid oil like butter or coconut. Olive oil, canola, etc all turn unstable at high temps and zap your brain into alien juice. For real. Also coconut oil makes you LOSE weight. Swear to the bears.
4) Stevia is amazing. It’s a sweetener that actually regulates your blood sugar level, it’s natural, no chemicals, no sugar and no carbs. It’s considered a supplement. Especially when you poor it straight into your mouth. I mean…not that I know about that…
5) Eat a billion eggs a day. As many as you can fit into your face. ESPECIALLY the yolk. Don’t believe that BS about cholesterol, etc. It’s a super food. Also avocado. Make guac constantly. Get a shovel. You figure out the rest.
6) You can make a satisfying pasta out of anything. Get this GEFU Spirelli Spiral Cutter
It’s amazing. Zucchini noodles win my life.
After this nonsense is all over, there are a few recipes that I’m going to keep making. I’ll share them with you because sharing is what friends do. Especially diseases
Adapted from PB & Fruity Says “Let Us Rap” – 2010 Winner (it’s a kid’s cooking contest. Of course I like this best)
Ingredients
• 2 shredded chicken breasts
• 1 chopped green apple
• 1/4 cup chopped black or red grapes
• 2 tablespoons almond butter
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• Boston Lettuce
Preparation
1. Boil the shit out of your chicken until it shreds, cover in salt and pepper
2. Dump chicken in with cut up fruit and onions
3. Spoon that almond butter all over everything and mix
4. Carefully (not like a savage beast) remove large lettuce leaves without breaking. Scoop spoonfulls of mixture into lettuce and roll.
5. Eat your face off.
This salmon. The avocado stuff on top makes you think you’re not eating salmon.
I’ve made this cumin pork in my slow cooker 4 times and it’s cooking right now. It’s amazing. At the end of cooking, strain the juices and pour into a pan. Turn that pan on super high and let it boil for like 10 minutes until it makes a super thick fancy sauce. And guess what? You just made a REDUCTION. Sounds so smart and fancy. Poor your reduction back over the pork and eat it with guac.
I made these Cowboy Cookies before Whole 30. If you don’t even care about your health, make these. They are so to die, you will die and then eat more and then die more. Oh, they have avocado in them. what what?
And my MOST prized recipe. Seriously, everyone who eats this guac gets down on their knees and praises Jesus that I have come into their life to deliver them this guacamole. I seriously make it now once a week. Note: leave out the black pepper. No black pepper in mexican food ever!
Hi I’m MODG. But you can call me MODG. You say it like Modg, like a Grandma name. Not like M.O.D.G. That’s a lot of syllables and I don’t have that kind of time. 
{ 46 comments }
That’s exactly how I make my guacamole (-the black pepper) and it is soooo amazing I can eat it by itself as a meal. I add tons of lime juice though….mmmmmm…..now I’m craving some!
I make that guac ALL the time! Four Seasons knows whats up! I could live off that stuff
What meals do you like that give you leftovers? I have an easy time doing this, but don’t have leftovers for lunch unless I’m making soup or chili.
Yums! Thanks for sharing.
I am curious about this for sure!! I read the article and I didn’t see if I can drink almond milk? I’m such a picky eater, and I looked at their shopping list and got confused lol not sure how to make this work god mg husband and I? I really want to try it!!
I laugh so hard when I read your posts. seriously. love this and am so glad all the bitchassness is paying off for you. can’t wait to try the cookies and roll-ups. no fish or pork for me. but yes, the guac is ahhhmazing.
http://Www.elanaspantry.com
Her recipes changed my life…
I have done a couple of Whole30s the past year and I didn’t feel any of that magic awesome feeling they talk about until sometime around Day 30 for both of them, so it may still hit you at some point. And yeah, not sure if it’s worth all the mess it takes to cook all this crap on your own, but I have lost a lot of weight with it and weirdly my skin looks amazing. Coconut oil is the best at everything. I still use it even when I’m not eating clean. I love mixing smashed avocado with crab or chicken and some lime juice for an awesome guac/chicken salad type meal. So good. I agree zucchini noodles win at everything. Mix an egg with them before you cook – tastes like cheese, I swear. I also swear by almond butter. Gah, I love that stuff. We also make a huge pot of “chili” which is basically just tomato sauce + ground meat + sauteed zucchini/squash/mushrooms/onions/etc. I put it in the freezer in individual containers and then heat them up when I need a fast meal. Sorry for the long comment, I just get weirdly excited talking to someone doing whole30 since everyone I know thinks it’s so weird.
This is awesome, Amanda! I ‘ve been doing something similar and working with a place that follows the same ideas. Best thing I heard them say, “if it says low fat or fat free DO NOT EAT IT.” Idea is to eat food in the most natural form (which, shockingly red velvet cake does not occur in nature) I love liquid Stevia- comes in vanilla flavored as well. Glad to hear you are feeling better and thanks for sharing the recipes!
This actually sorta convinces me that I might could do this.
Except that I don’t eat meat, which would make it hard. And sometimes I force myself to eat eggs for the protein, but I don’t enjoy them one bit. I think if I did this strictly, I would be eating vegetables, fruits, and nuts only, which sounds crazy. But I’m definitely looking to limit dairy and carbs (quinoa instead of rice, spaghetti squash instead of pasta), etc. Takes more time but ultimately: worth it.
Totally on board. I’m so making that guac, but what do you eat it with if you’re not eating grains? I’m not being an asshole! I’m really curious.
Thanks for sharing this! Much appreciated. Good luck!
Thanks for sharing! I was trying to read into what you were saying RE: “This is the part when I tell you how awesome it is and how great I feel and how sparkly my girl parts are…or something. And …eh?” I don’t know what you actually meant here (sarcastic or not?) — would you say this DID help your digestive issues or not as much as you hoped? I’m considering some different diets for IBS and I’ve already tried a few that didn’t work, so your thoughts would be appreciated! In any case, limiting/eliminating processed foods is always good!!
I haven’t eaten grains in two months either! I’ve been doing mostly whole30 type stuff + honey. Kind of a gaps/paleo thing. It really has helped my inflammation (I had too many issues to list, including leaky gut). Thanks for the recipes!
Question – What are you using to eat your guac if you can’t have chips or grains? That guacamole looks so sad and lonely without anything to dip in it!
Thanks for the recipes, MODG! I recently discovered 100daysofrealfood (dot) com. The lady can be a little extreme at times (and also made her tiny children eat real food for an entire 100 days), but she has some great whole food recipes!
You should seriously be spokesperson for this, I have friends trying it but after reading this I’m totally convinced it’s the way to go!
WOO internet high five!! I too survived 3 months with no grains (and no sugar and no dairy and no starches IT WAS AWFUL). I too never stopped craving carbs every second of every day, BUT my gut seemed to completely reset so I’m a believer. Same exact story… too many antibiotics in my history, gut issues and an IBD diagnosis that I now don’t buy at all. Not to tempt you back to the dark side, but I gradually worked everything back into my diet and haven’t had any issues in the 2 years since. I hope you too will be reunited with fruity pebbles!!!
Sorry to blab…. you are a hero and your behbehs appreciate that boob milk I’m sure!!!
I’m on day 16 of my first whole30 and so far so good. Def haven’t felt any magic but overall feeling pretty good. I’m gonna try the pork this weekend. I’ve found some pretty successful recipes myself. If you want I can email them to you. Let me know and good luck! Chelsealamay at gmail dot com
Thanks so much. We have been doing a half-ass version of this, one were we (my husband and I) didn’t cut out, but limited carbs. We are totally going to do the coconut oil (already bought but not used yet) and we will go get some almond four. I really appreciate your top picks. It will help, but I still induldged in an amazing Neapolitan pizza two days ago, so I am not getting the full weight loss potential.
Oh man, I LOVE a useful post!!! I love funny posts, too, which is why I visit Suri’s Burn Book and What Should We Call Me about eleventy times a day, but truly, thank you, thank you, for this super useful post. Rolling up my sleeves and ready to cook it out. Watch out, gut. Watch out.
You have officially made me totally excited to go back to my non-whale lifestyle! You’re also amazing, by the way.
Healthy eating stuff BUMS. ME. OUT. because no matter what angle it takes, it’s always “avocados and nuts! avocados and nuts! you’ll fix your butts with avocados and nuts!” I don’t have a nut allergy, but I’ve hated nuts since day 1 of my life. All nuts. Because they all taste like nuts. My tongue is chemically incapable of liking them. And my grandpa was an almond and walnut farmer, so it’s not like I didn’t try. What do the nut allergy people do?? I’d be pissed if I were them because it’s like SHUT UP THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING BESIDES NUTS!!!
Which brings us to avocados. I can’t stand ‘em, and I’m a Californian. I’ve tried, but they are, to be scientific, totes icky to me, including in guac form….gag. Every few months I try to eat some to see if my tastes have changed, and it seriously grosses me out. So there goes 99% of the world’s healthy recipes.
Sorry- I’m not trying to be a hater. I’m super excited for your progress MODGery and impressed by your dedication. I had my gallbladder out last May: near-constant gut issues ever since. I’ve wanted to get healthy/whole/clean for a while but every time I start looking at recipes all I see are the damn avocados and nuts and I get frustrated and defeated and I eat my feelings and my feelings taste like Milky Way bars.
Whole30 seriously is amazing. Also, if you want to check out some other delicious recipes: http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/
I’m not sure if you can eat all the ingredients in this, but I think you could probably make some easy substitutions. Anyway, try it if you can, you will DIE of YUM. http://spectacularlydelicious.com/2010/04/19/recipe-chocolate-of-the-gods-mousse/
You’re a rockstar! Love the tips and recipes in here
Good for you! I’m trying to go as grain-free as possible..if anything I’ll cook brown rice and VERY often quinoa (can’t do without that one!) I completely agree in regards to the dairy-yuk! Milk is just gross to me! And coconut oil…LOVE it! Use it in my cooking and beauty regimen! You might want to try these:
http://www.bitesforbabies.com/recipes/two-bite-dairy-free-cocoa-coconut-treats/
if you’re a coconut (and chocolate) fan!
you may or may not want to know about these…
http://minimalistbaker.com/almond-meal-cookies-with-chocolate-chips-and-coconut/
I’m making the pork right now. Totally inspired. And my house smells amazing.
I’m about 38 weeks pregnant and my dear, loving husband is OBSESSED with Paleo eating and its lifestyle. Luckily for me he does the cooking, because I don’t have the patience or energy to cook that way all the time. I will say I’m intrigued by some of the things we’ve been changing though, and have found some great healthy new substitutions (such as almond milk, cauliflower mashed potatoes, almond flour, etc.) It’s really hard for me to get totally on board though, especially right now when I’m craving cupcakes and candy and ice cream and anything else that has sugar. Maybe after this baby comes I’ll have to try the Whole 30 thing.. though short term diets kind of freak me out. So are you still cutting out a lot of sugar? How do you feel?
Made the chicken lettuce wraps and the guacamole this week. Both were delicious!! I have the pork going in the crock pot right now. Thanks for the great recipes! I can’t imagine giving up even one of the categories of food that you have (hats off to you!!) but I’m always looking for new healthy recipes to try.
I’m going to start eating Paleo style, but have a feeling it’s going to be hard. Your tips are helpful and love the recipes! Rock on Modg!
OMG I just made your version of the “Let Us Rap” and it was AMAZEBALLS! Thank you for sharing…I have been thinking of trying the paleo thing for a while and this was a perfect introduction.
1) The pork also looks amazeballs.
2) Keisha, I think you can do almond milk (for Paleo). Can someone confirm?
My mom has almost every food sensitivity on the planet. Gluten, soy, dairy, nuts, chicken, pre-chicken (eggs). And she is constantly nagging me to see a nutritionist and get checked because I probably have some of these, too. But I do not want to because mac n cheese. And because chicken nuggets. And because cheese on cheese on cheese. I have the dietary habits of an unsupervised, chunky five-year old. Post baby, I’ve gotten better solely for the sake of my pants. But Morning Star pretend Chik’n Nuggets are still a staple in my diet because I feel like I am eating crap without eating total crap. I love crap.
But this makes me wanna kind of try this shit? I dunno. More pretend chik’n first.
Thank you for writing this. My doctor advised me about Leaky Gut Syndrome back in early 2008. Five years later, there is so much more information, support, and the recipes! I’m so happy to find them! Please keep writing about this!
No grains is a definitely a labor intensive diet. We did the GAPS diet for about 6 months-ish for my son, supposed to heal the gut and all that. I think it made a big difference for him, but mostly I was just pleased to get the control back of the dinner table. My kid would have eaten toast and chocolate milk his whole life if I had let him. Now he eats a well-rounded diet. And it has definitely opened our eyes to how dependent on bready carbs we were. I think milk is a waste to drink if it’s not raw but we drink it sparingly if it’s RAW milk. Thanks for the recipes they look delicious!
What does B do for work lunches? Does he stick with the Whole30? I can cook anything for dinner and my husband will grudgingly eat it. But he goes out for lunch at work ALL THE TIME. Like McD’s and Wendy’s. Its bad.
You don’t need to boil the crap out of the chicken to shred it. Add the chicken breasts (fresh, not frozen) to deep pot and then add enough water (or chicken broth if you want it to taste better) to cover them by at least an inch. Heat until boiling, turn the chicken breasts over, remove the pot from the heat completely and cover it. Let sit for 10-15 minutes (depending on the size of the breasts). Test a breast (ha!) by taking it out and cutting in to it. If it’s not done yet, put it back in the water for another 5-10 minutes. Once done, take the chicken out and let it cool for about 10 minutes on a plate. Then shred. You’re welcome.
I’m a long time reader and first time mom from Toronto, Canada. I saw this article and immediately thought of you and your quest to understand and heal leaky gut. Thought you might find it interesting!
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health-navigator/c-section-babies-missing-crucial-gut-bacteria-study-finds/article8440728/
Enjoy!
Great article, thanks for sharing!
It has been 10 days since your last entry. While I look forward to your posts as form of lovely escapism and laughter, I am more worried for what this means for your sanity since you obviously haven’t had time to blog. May both little ones nap at the same time every day for the next week!
Hi, it’s me again! I made the pork and guac recipe yesterday. DELICIOUS!!! Even my husband liked it and he doesn’t usually like anything I make!
This ‘diet’ sounds not that bad. As a new mom, I’m wondering how much weight have you lost since giving birth to your daughter? And, would you contribute the majority of weight loss to this diet?
Thanks!
Hubby and I did a modified version of this for 1 month last summer. Of course we are now TOTALLY off the wagon (I just had cheese and crackers for lunch because apparently I eat like a 3 YO). But this post has got me thinking – maybe it’s time to get our shit back together. Grrr…..first few weeks are SOOO hard but you’re right – once you get into the groove, it’s a good place to be.
I just checked out the Whole30 site. They say it isn’t hard, but man, that sounds like torture. Go you for sticking with it!