G has completed his first 2 (ish) weeks of school. They ease the kids in going from 3 days a week to 5 and 2 hours a day to 3. I have been so consumed with “will he like school?” “will he make friends at school?” “will he destroy the school and all who cross his path?” that I forgot that once he is actually AT school, I will be AT home. Without him. While Ruby naps.
Today I got it.
I walked in the door. I put Ruby down for her nap. And I looked around. Holy shit. There is one child here and she is asleep. And it’s just me. By myself. WHAT DO I DO? And this is what happened from here:
Oh my god. I’m alone.
First eat a cookie.
Actually eat 2 cookies.
Stand in the middle of the living room and eat 2 cookies.
Turn on the tv.
Watch shows with out singing or bright colors and with partial nudity.
Eat another cookie.
Wait. I need to do a million things. I need to make a list.
List: take a shower, nap, dry my hair, actually style my hair, put on makeup, cook a real lunch, blog, read that magazine I bought 3 months ago, pick up all disgusting things on the floor….
I can’t waste my time making a list. I’m WASTING TIME. I only have an hour left. I need to do stuff.
Ok, start cooking lunch. Plan dinner. Pump milk.
WAIT WAIT. I also need to enjoy this time. I have like 55 minutes left. Am I enjoying this time?
AM I ENJOYING THIS TIME??!!
omg. I am wasting time worrying about enjoying this time. It takes too much time to enjoy time.
I need a cookie.
Ok ok. I have 40 minutes left.
I should probably work out. I haven’t worked out in like 2 years. I don’t know how to start. I should google that.
Googling how to work out after slothing for 2 years.
Slothing is a weird thing to google. Especially in the images. Stop doing that.
SHIT 20 minutes left.
I’m not wasting my free time working out. That’s some bullshit.
Wait a minute. 20 minutes is left until G gets out of school. That means I actually only have FIVE MINUTES before I have to leave.
Do I have time for a cookie? Shit. I don’t.
And then I get Ruby up and we’re back in the car as soon as we got in the house. It’s a short short window of bliss, but it’s like nothing I’ve ever known. School is a wonderful thing my friends. Because it’s not TV. It’s not some stupid toy that he ends up throwing at Ruby’s head. It’s SCHOOL. It’s learning and kids and social time and teachers and stuff. How can you feel guilty about school? You can’t. Except that school is the unifying source of endless scarring memories for 90% of the population. Whatever.
And when I pick G up from school he comes running to me with a huge smile and 9 million art projects and tells me that he misses me. And I totally missed him too. And then he throws an old banana peel down my shirt because it’s “food and we can throw food at people” (??) and I miss him 1% less.
So either this new time will mean more blogging, skinnier body from working out (psh), more shopping and doing stuff like this
B totally votes for doing stuff like that. And so I did. And went on with my day with dirty hair, no makeup, just as non worked out, unslept and un read. But BUT I now have a picture of shit that I want but can’t have. Success.
I can always work out another day.
What do YOU do with your school time? Eat cookies? Prob.