B

Just my usual Monday vagina, white tshirt, china butt cream, chicken wings post.

Thanks to the randomizer, the free orgasm of baked goods goes to…. julie s. I have to go for the raspberry chocolate rugelach…I would die for those. But also maybe the chocolate chip sandwiches…it’s too hard to decide. Caroline Blackwood I would die for the key lime cookies…and the Betty rolls…and the lemon rosemary shortbread! [...]

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The Bachelor and a Bacon Unicorn and other amazing B things. But not B himself. Because he’s busy watching cartoons.

Thank god you’re still here. I thought you got all Lost on me and vanished into an alternate reality complete with smoke monster. 2 days ago, I go to write you a super extra good post. You know about The Bachelor and a tooth of mine and soft baby craps. That kind of post. And [...]

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Tomorrow B made the conscious decision to be married to me for 5 years. I at least owe him a top 10 list.

Dear B, Tomorrow we have officially been married for 5 years. Do you believe it? Yeah I guess I do too. This past year I think took a good 3 off of our lives. But now that we’ve come out on the other side, I’m very confident we can handle a future kitchen remodel. Since [...]

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Biting the hand that feeds you < biting the nipple that feeds you.

While we were all busy saving the world and being good people and shit, my life turned upside down. Now many of you were like OH YOU GOT A TV SHOW. Or OH YOU ARE GOING TO BE ON THE NEWS. or OH YOU FOUND A LOT OF GOLD THINGS AND REALLY ARE RICH. no. [...]

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STUFF B LIKES: Or as I call it, B likes nothing.

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  Every gift giving holiday, I have this conversation with B: Me: So what do you want for your birthmasfathersflagiday? B: I don’t want anything. Me: By saying you don’t want anything, you make my life infinitely harder. B: Why? Just don’t get me anything. Me: You KNOW that’s not going to happen. Now I [...]

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