babies

You only get to sing that part of the song if your kid is in cloth diapers. Since I KNOW you want to sing that part, I’m going to teach you everything I know.

Just about cloth. Not about life. That’s for my book.

How do you catch and release your baby’s pee and poop? This is apparently a very interesting topic to talk about.

This actually happened to me once.

No I’m lying.

No I’m not.

Many of you have asked me for an update on the cloth diapering. If you missed the first post on my pending saint-hood, please read here and come on back.

So here we are, a year into cloth diapering. I’m going to give you some genius tips that I’ve learned in this year of the hippie butt. I’m also going to tell you why in fact it doesn’t take a saint to do this and you can catch and release too. I’ll even certify you.

We use bumGenius One-Size pocket 4.0. When I did my research, BumGenius had the highest ratings for durability and non pee all over my shirt-ness. 2 important qualities. A billion washes later, they are still in perfect condition. Literally look like new. The other type you can get is the AIO (Bumgenius All in One…clothies are big on acronyms. It’s to make you feel dumb). This just means that instead of inserting an absorbing terrycloth thing into a pocket to absorb pee and poop, it’s all in one diaper. We picked the pocket kind because you can add inserts at night, you can use different types of insert and you can trash them if they get gross.

Now I’m going to tell you about the stuff I learned that will help you:

Acquiring them:

We have 20 and were using 10 a day when he was little. Now we use about 5 a day. You can get them on ebay or craigslist. No it’s not gross. You can literally sterilize them. Also it’s babies, not meth addicts. My diapers are in primo conditioned and we’ve washed them almost every other day for a year. They are expensive, this saves money.

**DO NOT BUY THE VELCRO KIND EVER EVER IN YOUR LIFE EVER.***

There are people out there whose only job it is to switch from velcro to snaps. This is because velcro is stupid. It doesn’t last forever. Snaps do. It’s science really. I had to convert 5 of mine.

I have a friend that switched to cloth when her baby was 15 months to save money. You can switch over any time. It’s never too late.

Cleaning them:

Charlie’s Soap is the best. Use it actually for all of your clothes. It’s gentle but will kill dirt and crap with a sledge hammer. I love this stuff. B thinks I buy it from some man named Uncle Charlie off of his porch in Alabama. B is a fool. You need a soap like this to make your diapers last.

When you are ready to wash them, do a speed cycle on cold and then a cycle on hot with an extra rinse. Throw in the dryer (it says don’t but I say do. You don’t have all GD day) and you’re done.

Bleach those bitches once a month.

Once in a blue moon you need to put like 4 tiny teeny drops of dawn dish soap in. This strips the diapers and yes it’s totally as sexy as it sounds. It helps with absorption.

Extra stuff:

Dudes. I WISH I knew about this during the breastmilk poop days. GET FLUSHABLE LINERS. It literally looks like big toiler paper. Line the diaper and when they take a massive peanut butter crap, peel off the liner and flush. SO EASY AND BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

We do have the Diaper Sprayer that hooks to your toilet and barely use it. Now that he eats solids, the poops just fall into the toilet. I love a good solid poop.

Eventually G got to the point where he was peeing a lot at night and the diapers weren’t doing the job. TRUST when I tell you that I was not waking me or him up to change his diaper. Then we got hemp inserts and problem solved. They are just super absorbable and wash the same way everything else does. We have 3.

I have to tell you that sadly, your run of the  mill diaper bag will not cut it with clothies. You should have 2 with you at all times and a wet bag (washable waterproof bag to hold the dirty ones.). With all that shit (literally) you don’t have room for drink, snacks, toys, pacifiers, change of clothes, etc. Even my fancy bag that I bragged about isn’t big enough. Get the biggest GD tote bag you can find and rock it.

And that’s it my friends. It’s honestly so easy I can’t believe everyone doesn’t do it. We always keep a pack of disposables on hand in case I get lazy with the wash or just in case I need him to wear skinny jeans (need). But I really really believe that anyone can do this. Not just saints and hippies. I’m going to be way honest here, sometimes I’m too lazy to recycle. But I’m not too lazy to cloth diaper.

There’s a cost upfront but a big savings in the long run.

Ask your questions and I’ll answer every damn one of them. Because I love you and the baby penguins. Also, you are now certified in cloth diapering. Here is your certificate:

I just really wanted to use a picture of that weird baby again.

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Coming up in MODG

-My hunt for the perfect white T shirt. From low end to high end. I’ve found fashion gold.

-Did you know G speaks sign language? He tells me to F off. I’ll tell you how we did it.

-My interview with a robot. Well, she makes robots. Well she works for people who do. SECRET ROBOTS.

xoxo

MODG

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