breastfeeding

What my holes have taught me about being a mom

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  Welcome to Week of Holes part II. Week of holes I as you’ll remember was a butt load of weeks ago. THAT my friends is how long it takes to get hole appointments to fix your broken  holes. You may remember my friend Cervix. She is an angry old broad. Turn out her neighbors [...]

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A girl who didn’t shave her armpits OR shower does not deserve 200 dollars bras. Actually, neither do clean girls.

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***Attention Young Hot Girls Without Babies*** I bet your boobs right about now look like this top picture . . . Have a baby or two and one day they look like this next one: You can sleep in a damn bra every night of your life and lay minimally on your side to prevent [...]

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And the boobie hats go to…

Chris I want a beanie hat because if my daughter E wears it while we’re breastfeeding, it may actually create an optical illusion of normal sized breasts. Each one of my breasts is now larger than my child’s head. And she is now 4 months. I had large breasts before having a child, they are [...]

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There are 2 exposed breasts in this post. One is on my cat’s head. *GO NIPPLES*

This is a special day of nudity. Hooray! People make a big freaking deal about nudity. It’s either all secret and playboy or it’s all vulgar and sick or it’s embarrassing (like how I imagine horses to feel) or it’s just all of those things but someone calls it “art” so it’s cool.  But on [...]

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Hello again food, you dirty dirty lady.

Today is a big day. Well I guess yesterday was THE big day. But today is sort of large-ish too. Some of you who are new here may not know that I had a very difficult time with my diet as G was breastfeeding. G was a fart rocket and I was advised to cut [...]

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