Nursery

I feel like every list should include one bullet point on not getting murdered. It’s just good information overall.

Craigslist is amazing. You can find really great shit but it’s a GD pain in the ass. Seriously. The internet has been around longer than Britney Spears and we’re still looking at regular word links without pictures? No. There are better ways. You need to be smarter than everyone else to 1) get the best shit for cheap and 2) not get murdered** (see footnote)

I have had some good success with furniture. This is 30% because I like cool furniture but 70% because we can’t afford to go to a fancy store and buy new stuff. When we moved into our house we literally had nothing. I still have some 1950′s chairs with fabric stapled to them. Cool chairs, lazy reupholstering. But with a little patience and 1.99, you too can be the Mastah of the List.

bought for 60 dollars and completely refinished and repaired by B. It was a ton of work but totally worth it (as I say that and did none of the work)

Bought for 70 dollars and totally refinished already. I thought about changing it, but I like it raw. That’s what she said.

So right now I’m doing G’s big boy room with 110% help from MFAMB. I don’t have the time or energy to do this shit myself anymore and she is a genius who isn’t appreciated enough in her own time. She also says fuck and balls a lot. About furniture. So we work. Don’t get too excited, this is not a reveal yet. But I do need to give her credit. She is the current Mastah of the List. I recommend you read up on her methods too.

11 Steps to become MASTAH OF THE LIST:

1) The App

Right now, stop what you are doing and download Ultimate Craigslist to your phone. It’s an app. It’s like 2 dollars I think. Spring for the non-free one.  I saw an email come in to me from MFAMB about some stuff I needed to check out and at the bottom it said “sent from Ultimate Craigslist”. I downloaded that shit immed and was super happy that I did. It allows you to search multiple cities, with price restriction and your search results include pictures, a brief description and the ability to email the post and email the seller from the app. Craig needs to get on his shit because this app makes the regular list on the dot com site a poop on the floor. PS. G’s new favorite word is dotcom.

1a) The site

If you want to use an old school computer, try Spotli. It’s a search of CL with pictures. I am hesitant to tell you this though because as soon as these sites come out, that old ass Craig finds out and sues them. But it’s good. Use it while it lasts.

2) Searching. Come correct. And think like a grandma.

When you search, know what you want. Example: I wanted dressers. Fancy, vintage, mid century dresser. But I knew that anyone included the words “mid century” or “danish” or maybe even just “vintage”, knew what they had and would charge me for it. My goal was to find the grandma who doesn’t want that old thang anymore and just wants to get rid of it. Chances are, she’s just going to call it a dresser. So guess what? I search in the most general way possible. I only search for “dressers”. The first search will be a bear. Spend like a full hour going through everything. But then every day, at the same time (I did it when G was napping) search again for “dressers” from anything in the last 24 hours. It will take you 15 minutes max and you’ll see everything there is and you’ll be on that shit faster than a Tridelt at a Nordstrom sale.

3) Know your budget and don’t be a whore about it

Ok some days I’d search mid century. And I’d find beautiful things sold by dealers. They were like 300 bucks. Which honestly, isn’t a bad price. I could get a piece of poop that will break in a month from Ikea for 300 bucks. But this stuff is solid wood, refinished to look like a marshmallow unicorn dream. It would be so easy. But I knew I could do better. My budget was no more than 100 dollars and I would not give in until I found it. And I did find it. Many times. But many of those times the dipwads on the other end don’t get back to you and you cry into your pillow about it. Because IT WAS THE ONE. But you keep going. Until you find one that loves you back.

4) Email like an asshole

Ok, don’t be an asshole. But be brief and be vague. You found it. Time to contact the seller. DO NOT WAIT. If you found it, you contact them NOW. If there is a phone number, you call. Don’t email. Grandma doesn’t even do email. She pays her ungrateful son to do it for her. And he’s looking at porn. SO CALL. Ok but if you can’t call, in your email say this:

Hi

I’m interested in your dresser for my son’s room from the posting “say what it is exactly”. I live in “local town usa” and can pick it up right away. Is it still available and what would your availability be to come by?

Thanks so much!

Amanda

See how I did that? She knows I’m a mom (not a bear man looking to steal your walker and VCR). I’m not looking to be an asshole and negotiate (although we’ll get to that) and I can come right away or whatever works for them (flexible). Exclamation points mean friendly. I never use them in real life for obvious reasons. But be brief and don’t go on and on. Get to the point and make that shit happen.

5) Negotiating. A tricky bitch.

Let’s say you found it but it’s like a little out of your range. Be realistic here. If this is amazing, a good price and you’ve been searching for 2 months. Don’t push your luck. 50 other people are going to find it and want to get it now. You will fall to the bottom of the list. BUT but but…let’s say you’re looking for a stroller and there are 14 other of them, feel free to offer a little less. But don’t be a wad about it. After your first email and after they respond you have them as a responsive buyer. Ask them if they would accept 30 dollars instead of 50. Do not ask if they will accept 30 instead of 100. Remember, don’t be a wad.

6) You set a price. They agreed. But you have to pick it up NOW. Because 20 other people are interested.

Yeah he’s probably bullshitting you. But if you really want this thing, you call your husband, make him leave work, get a truck and drive in concert rush hour traffic to the ghetto with cash to get it. If you have a car that can fit what you are buying, you are way better off. HAVE A PLAN. I learned this the hard way after B turned around and came home because he wouldn’t make it to the old man’s house by his 4pm deadline. I think he needed to watch Wheel of Fortune. I didn’t sleep that night thinking everyone would come and buy it before I could. B told me to SETTLE. I told him he wouldn’t know a good mid century deal if he was the host of Let’s Make a Mid Century Deal. Which brings me to our next rule:

7) Don’t piss off your runner. (i.e. husband)

8) Not getting murdered.

This one is important because dead people can’t really enjoy good Craigslist finds. Don’t be dumb. Don’t go by yourself. I would never go to anyone’s house who I didn’t know alone or especially with G. This is hard because B works all day and I sit on my ass watching TLC. But I’m not ready to die over furniture yet. If you have a friend, bring them.

9) Buying shit unseen

Ok, ideally you want to go see it, buy it and bring it home. Sometimes it doesn’t work that way. Like when G is napping and I have to stay here while B drives across the city to pick the thing up. I had to trust B. And trust ME…B doesn’t know this shit. This is my thing. But I was confident in the picture and the listing. I was very specific with B that even if it needed repair, buy it because the price is worth is. Also I would cry otherwise.

10) When NOT to buy

I saw some things that looked amazing online and then got there and they were balls bad. Like all plasticky finish. This is important because if it’s all veneer, it means you can never refinish it. It also means it’s a cheap piece of piece. Don’t be afraid to walk away.

11) You got it.

You got it. YAY! Take a picture and make your friends jealous. Use instagram to make it look even better than it is. You are now Mastah of the List. Make a nametag and a hat. Make your friends say it to you.

I will do another post about selling on Craigslist. Another fine line between $$$ and murder. Isn’t it always that way?

Do you have awesome cl tips that I need to know? Tell me. Soon enough we will have the big boy room reveal. Oh and sorry to disappoint you nursery fanatics. We’re not doing one. Yoshe will be just fine with birds and the owls and whatnot.

footnote:

**I almost said raped but I don’t want to offend rape victims. I figure murder victims are already dead and can’t harass me.  Unless I’m asking for a haunting. Then I really should have stuck with the rape thing. Maybe one day though I can be on Celebrity Ghost Stories. Ok, sticking with the murder.

____________________________________________

i realized today that I forgot to announce the winners of the Honest Tea Giveaway. I’m the worst. Ok here they are. EMAIL ME NOW at modgblog at gmail dot com

Katie E.
Okay, first of all, we are serious Honest Tea addicts in my home. I think my youngest child is 1% Honest Ade, which I would drink while eating homemade hummus, because the store brand was too salty and I loved chickpeas like I loved breathing the whole time I was pregnant. If it is good for you, and in the South, and people drink it, you know it is amazing.

Lisa
ps – I love Honest Tea. I met some of their employees at a trade show once, and they were all SO nice. They really are a good company.

Leigh
PS: I love Honest Tea, and would love to try the Limeade. I just wish it was cheaper at the bodegas in NYC!

POSTED IN: Awesome things,hotness,Nursery