March 25, 2013

not dead. I think.

I’m here. Sort of. I’m here in a fuzzy, I can kind of see through  my frizzy bangs and dirt halo sort of way. I’m going to say this. Military wives are my heros. They deserve badges and buckets of gold and honors and things like that. It’s March. It’s snowing. March is a whore. [...]

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March 4, 2013

Send help. Send meds. Send booz. Send babysitters.

You guys. I just got some NEWS. And not the US Weekly kind. I’m going to be alone with the kids for a full week. That means, wake ups, all meals, all baths, all NIGHT LONG wake ups and all entertainment. Me. And then? When it’s all over? I have to do it again, and [...]

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February 21, 2013

The top 6 things I learned from Whole30 and the top 5 recipes that I’ll keep cooking. And also fruity pebbles. Just saying.

I haven’t eaten a grain in 2 months. Let me say that again except louder so you really get it I HAVEN’T EATEN A GRAIN IN 2 MONTHS.   These are the only creatures on earth that could get me off the wheat train. And the gummy train. And the m&m bus.  Let me break [...]

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February 20, 2013

I can now officially tell you which jeans will make you look hotter than 1999 Britney at the Super Bowl. (so hot)

I’m going to start by telling you that this post took me TWO weeks to put together in 15 minute chunks. There was no toilet opportunities available. Now, I’m going to be honest. I’ve been replacing my eating awesome foods with shopping for awesome jeans. However I usually return the jeans. There is no returning [...]

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February 17, 2013

We’re being honest with how much we eat poop.

I’VE MISSED YOU. SO MUCH. no really. I have spent the last 2 weeks or however long time passes these days, covered in vomit, diarrhea and sweat. And for once, it’s not out of the body of a child. It’s my own. I wake up in the middle of the night. Me: B, I’m sick. [...]

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